To wonder why screens aren’t investigated as a cause of childhood behaviour issues?

😂😂😂😂

My son is 5.5 and has never had a tablet or used our phone, except for when we're showing him photos or trying to explain something to him, like what some obscure animal he's asking about looks like or where we're going on holiday etc. It just didn't occur to us when he was small and as an older toddler it felt like "why add in another Thing to manage?" if that makes sense?

At cafes etc we'll people watch, chat, scribble and take him outside if needs be for some air. Yes we've had to ask for cake to go but that's just par for the course sometimes with little ones. We don't eat out much but he's usually ok when we do if it's quiet and we don't dawdle over the menu. We've never been on a plane with him yet but we've done longer car trips and it's fine, nowadays he listens to music and we play eye spye and he'll happily chill and look out the window "thinking" for a good while. When he was younger he'd nap and flip through little books and stuff.

He watches TV, but we all watch together in the living room and he doesn't know about YouTube/ticktock etc and he doesn't watch it after about 5pm ish unless we're having a film night. We're not perfect and he definitely watches too much some days, but others hardly any and he's pretty good when it goes off usually (obviously he has his moments, as all kids do)

All this being said... He's still autistic. So take from that what you will @Peony1897 🤷

But you were talking about a child being in complete overwhelm just needing to remove themselves from the situation temporarily. Why would music not help them? What does the screen give that the music does not?

Oh hang on... The dopamine hit of the screen addiction. Do you not see that it's a self propagating cycle of addiction?!

My children are young so I wouldn't want to assume anything at this stage.

However, if screens were a good way to regulate ND children, I would expect there to be fewer ND children with behavioural issues today, when most children have access to phones and tablets, than there were ten or more years ago. And yet the opposite seems to be true.

I suspect a lot of people just blame poor behaviour caused by their rubbish parenting on self diagnosed neurodiversity, which must make it a lot more difficult for parents whose children really are ND to have their concerns taken seriously.

@Peony1897 you're not wrong but I don't know why you're asking for opinions and then telling everyone they're not qualified to comment, seems like a waste of time.

Do you have ND children?

The defences come because a lot of people will have faced "your child doesn't LOOK autistic, have you tried [insert something ridiculously obvious that the parent has obviously tried here]?"

Parents actually get this in the street, in front of their children!

Isn't this a bit like saying that if you have PCOS taking the pill will regulate your periods? It doesn't really regulate anything, it just masks the problem temporarily.

It's great that your son is enjoying some screen free time on holiday. Is there anything about your current setup which you could replicate at home?

You're brave OP!

Of course excessive screen use has an impact on children, it doesn't mean autism etc is caused by them or doesn't exist, but you can never discuss screens without the defensive but what about x, y, z.

God I’ve just read more of the thread since I posted and can’t believe some of the ignorance surrounding autism. Both my DC have screens and one is very clearly autistic and the other is very clearly not. So to think that screens can somehow cause ASD or similar symptoms is nonsense.

And of course both asd and adhd can be tested for. We went through several rounds of testing before DSs diagnosis .

I think it’s tricky. DS1 has autism and ADHD and screen time really helps regulate him. He needs that downtime after school especially where he has been masking all day which is exhausting for him, and it can also bring him down from a meltdown quicker than anything else. I do worry he has too much screen time but (ND aside) is communicative, intelligent and functioning when the screens are off.

The problem is his younger brother who is NT. It is difficult to say no to screen time to him when he sees DS1 with it. He definitely gets too much and I worry about how it affects his behaviour. We are on holiday at the moment which is good to get them both away from screens and nice to see them both playing nicely without a screen in sight.

I guess the problem comes when Joe public think they can decide a child isn't autistic enough because they think the parents have allowed "too much" screen time.

I suppose I can consider myself lucky that my children are "obviously" autistic because it would just crush me to get the kind of comments that other parents get (on and offline, I've seen it a lot in real life).

@Lyannaa have you got a source for that?

Many parents say their children only regulate with a screen, but that's not evidence.

There are definitely benefits to screens/tech, just have to be careful how we use them (like you did with your children).
Screens were how both my children learnt to read - they learnt with Reading Eggs and the desire to learn in my DD (who didn't learn to read in English until around 8 years old) was triggered by playing Zelda which has lots of reading and getting fed up waiting for me to come into the room to read it out to her. And DS uses the tablet to do Duolingo which is fairly beneficial - he's showing an aptitude for language learning. Youtube has been terrible for him though, affects his behaviour immensely so now he is only allowed to use it for origami videos (his current obsession) because he's doing the origami too, or he watches some Minecraft videos with his dad to get ideas for builds they can do, they are both talking about it during the video so its social interaction too. But the rest of his screen time is not good for him and I really need to cut it down (I do from time to time but then the stresses of life build up and I need a break so give him more time again)

Sometimes neurodiversity is hereditary so it wouldn’t be surprising if the parents themselves overly rely on screens and are addicted.

My son has numerous neurodevelopmental conditions but is high masking. School is just not set up for his needs - too loud, busy, and a sensory nightmare.

He does use screens time to regulate when he comes home. A 30 min stint of minecraft or his fave programme helps reduce his stress levels and calm down. This then helps him feel ready to return to more normal socialising.

In an ideal world he'd perhaps do something else. But reading a book is out because he finds it so stressful (highly dyslexic). When he's overwhelmed and exhausted after school he doesn't cope with other people,.his tolerance levels are tiny, he wants to hide away on his own. I've tried lots of other things but that short period of time screens are the best solution.

I also use his tablet if we go for a meal. It allows him to cope with the sensory overload just enough to be there (although tends not to manage to eat). I'd rather he's there and chatting on and off than not able to join in at all.

I do agree though that having screens as the constant solution isn't healthy.

Yes to all of this. 🥹

Because unfortunately she won't listen to that sort of music and would be bored with it within 10 seconds and wanting to wander about.

I think it’s being discussed because of changes in behaviour of students in school & the rising levels of anxiety amongst young people. I don’t think iPad use has anything to do with children being eligible for benefits or better SEN support in school.

Along with use of technology I think a major issue is parents both having to work long hours & so rushing about. I think they possibly rely on technology too. So it’s not an issue of poverty.

They definitely impact social development and cause behavioral issues.

Everything in moderation.

Though I think adults are equally impacted by screens, people care less, are selfish and behave as they please.

I'm Not including dc with special needs in the above, that is unacceptable.

My kids were on the autism assessment pathway, long before they were given access to screens in the form of tablets/phones.

The only TV they watched was Cbeebies.

I didn't even own a Smartphone myself until about 3 or 4 years before they became popular.

The sensory issues and meltdowns were occuring before the age of 5 and got progressively worse.

I sang to them, read to them every day, gave them my full attention during waking hours, played with them, spoke to them about our daily routine and we went to some kind of toddler class every day if the week (so I didn't go mad sitting in the house every day). They had a solid routine.

Made no effing difference. They're autistic. As am I and I didn't get alot of screen time growing up either. Had a ton of sensory issues and meltdowns myself. I was apparently a very challenging baby too! My parents said they had the shock of their life after having my mild mannered older sibling.

My kids have unlimited screen time now. It has made no difference to their behaviour or sleep patterns. I find screen time to be a regulating thing for me as it is for them.

Ironically, I only bought my eldest a tablet to give me a break after they went from sleeping 7pm-7am to progressively feeling less tired and staying awake until 8pm, 9pm 12am, 1am and eventually 2am every night over a period of 18 months. After a month of 2am bedtimes, I broke and bought a tablet for them to use sitting in bed next to me to entertain them when I could no longer keep my eyes open from sheer exhaustion. Nothing I tried made them more tired. I tried 40 different strategies over those 18 months. The only thing that had an effect was a Melatonin prescription.