Am I being a stroppy princess?

@SugarPlumpFairyCakes
Say that to the child living in a room with just enough space for a bed and nothing else. Say it also to the 2 girls who have had to adjust to having their mother's boyfriend and his son moving in to their home.

Your mistake was allowing him to move into your house.

when discussing living together the two of you should have been out there looking at houses to buy together.

do not marry him, as he will then be entitled to a % of your house - whether that be through divorce or your death.

also do not let him pay ' rent ' or towards your mortgage as that too could give him legal rights to your house, any financial contributions would be ' lodgings '

Does he pay rent for him and his son which you can put into a savings account?

@Namechangeprofessional I know all of that is very cynical, but having gone through a relationship breakdown, which impacted my living conditions (as have you), it does make one much more aware of the outcomes and risks.

Sorry to revert back to an earlier post of yours @Namechangeprofessional

But it did occur to me, that he'll have released a large amount of equity, if he's sold his house. What has he done with it?

And if he's paying into your household income, in the hopefully-never-to-happen event of relationship breakdown, he'll be able to lay claim to some of the equity in YOUR house.

It does strike me that he's having his money and also benefitting from your home. And upgrading to a bigger house would require HIS equity involvement, which is probably what he's trying to avoid. The question is why?

How old are the kids?

it feels unfair that his child can barely fit a bed into his ‘bedroom’. He’s going to grow up and resent that of his step sisters have their own space for their belongings. A good dad would want his child to have his own space too but guess him financially benefitting trumps that.

You're making it sound like you had no say in the matter.

Blended does not mean mangled. What a wanky thing to say.

He is not a partner. Partners invest in a joint enterprise (i.e. a joint mortgage in your example). Princesses live in their own castles - you should buy on your own, you say you earn very very well. It will be less complicated. He then can pay rent if he does not want to become a partner.

Op I doubt your children are happy living squashed in this house with 2 extra people. You're not happy about the situation so it will affect them. Partner needs to move out. Bet he changes his tune then.

But you don’t have to be all hemmed in OP. You CHOSE to move these extra people in.

Do you think he would dump you if you said you didn’t want to live together? Is that why you did it? It’s baffling.

Yes it's very telling. You keep saying he's generous etc and contributes food but it does indeed sound like he's taking advantage. He saw the benefits of moving him and his son in and selling his house after knowing you just 18 months because he's getting a very very good deal. I suspect he's actually contributing very little.

So you earn well and your priority is a bigger house so your kids don't feel cramped in what was once a spacious home for them.

Why is he happy for his son to have a cramped box room when he can afford to put him first and give him space.

Oh yeah, cos he's putting himself first. Happy to have his money sat there gathering interest while your house takes the brunt of wear and tear and upkeep and the kids all live on top of each other.

He might be great OP but he's being selfish and calculating to some degree.

You spend a lot of time at home, you should (as Kirsty & Phil say) love it or list it.

I feel sorry for the 3 children in this situation.
Blended really means mangled.

He sold his house and moved his child in because he has massively financially benefited.

Why are you avoiding saying how much he financially contributes?

I think your post title and the wording of your post is a bit odd - you're living in a house that doesn't feel comfortable any more because extra people have moved in, but its like you're feeling guilty or foolish about your own discomfort and doubting that you can trust your own judgement. Did your partner manipulate you into doubting your own judgement, because the current set up suits him and he doesn't want it to change?

Its also a good point the other posters have made about your girls having to share a bathroom with this boy who they don't really know. It’s not ideal for them, or for the boy in the tiny box room. It’s weird that his dad doesn't want him to be more comfortable and settled. Is this arrangement temporary, at least in your partner’s head? These are the things you need to figure out. I would insist on a fully honest conversation with him about housing and long term plans. If he gets defensive or shuts down or won’t be honest about his long term thinking, I think that tells you you’re being used.

How old is his son? His room fits a bed and nothing else? Where are his clothes and belongings? I take it he never has friends round?

I don’t know how he can be happy with that set up for his son, when he knows he can afford to give him a better one.