To feel generally WTF by the way DH thinks

• to not use the dishwasher because it is more time consuming from loading the dishes to taking out clean dishes than it is to wash them by hand

100% agree with this!👏

the only one that would potentially concern me is the oxbridge one - there's the possibility for a lot of pressure on your dd for something she might not be suited for/even want to do. I'd nip that in the bud.

re: the savings account sounds like you are opposite ends of a spectrum where most people would fall in the middle. i.e. yes most parents would buy their child colouring pencils at age ten and not expect them to get them themselves from their savings BUT equally it's pretty reasonable to expect a 15 year old who wants expensive trainers or high end make up to contribute themselves rather than a flat "don't parents just pay for whatever their children need."

the other two sound sensible to me!

Why are you changing the car insurance when you're on maternity leave? You're still doing the same job but on mat leave.
I never changed mine to sahm as I was still employed

If you are driving 5 days a week, and your DH 2, then you are the main driver. It doesn’t matter if he clocks up more hours at the weekend. I know, I checked with my insurer about the same issue!

You MUST put the main driver down correctly. Not doing so is called fronting and is fraudulent. If you are unsure who your insurer would consider the main driver, check with them. Then you are covered.

As PPs have said, the registered owner and main driver are completely separate and don’t have to be the same.

The main driver and insurance policyholder can also be different. My DH is always the policyholder of our insurance and he accrues any no claims. For a long time, I was the main driver as I used the car to commute.

Your DH is wrong on every other point!

You should never rinse the dishes , just scrape off the remnants , the sensors in the machine will not work correctly

We have the dishwasher argument.

He washes by hand, l use the dishwasher. If he moans about washing by hand due to amount, l tell him to use the dishwasher.

We have a ‘stand off’

Where is she "making out she's not wealthy", though? The OP said she wasn't "extremely" wealthy, she never said she wasn't wealthy, yet you say her post was "insulting and inaccurate".
It wasn't inaccurate of her to say she's not extremely wealthy if she's not, is it? Just because they can afford to stash 50k in savings doesn't mean they have millions, which is what extreme wealth is.
I also don't see why her post is insulting. Where has she insulted you? She's not the one quibbling over £80, that's her husband but either way I fail to see where the insult lies.

It will cost more money in the long run if you don’t have insurance in your name as you won’t have a no claims discount.

Dishwasher is fine if he does the washing up… but dishwashers do use less water…

Oxbridge is a massive long shot but if you think it’s possible you may as well go for it.

You don't need to be the registered keeper to be the main driver for insurance. Not with anyone we've ever insured with anyway.!

What’s harsh about asking OP to acknowledge that she is relatively wealthy? Quibbling over £80 when you’re wealthy enough for all the things she’s raised seems irrational.

I agree with this.

If It saves £80 then changing the registered keeper on the car seems sensible. Put the dishwasher on a shorter cycle and I think the premium bonds is ok but the child is too young for a current account and it makes sense for her to have a junior saver or isa. Beware that this means locking the money away until 18 then she will have access to a lot of money. Difficult to say how the Oxbridge thing will play out.

Bit harsh, OP said they are not "Extremely" wealthy. I'm sure she realises that they are well-off, just not rolling in £millions.

Totally agree. Children love independence and teaching financial responsibility is fantastic.

If you can deposit £50k into a bank account for your 2yr old, and still live comfortably. talking about private school, you’re wealthy. To make out you aren’t is insulting and inaccurate.

Parents do usually buy for their children, but some do give an allowance though 10 is a bit young.

Hard disagree.

My DC have had pocket money since they were 6 and it's been one of the best parenting things I've done.

Any pestering to buy? Sure you can buy it, out of your own pocket money.

They learn the value of money - and saving - very early.

This!!

Talking about secondaries to get your DC into Oxford when they are 2 is just insane.

He does NOT get to have a big dream about what his DC does or does not do or achieve. That's fucking awful.

If he loves Oxbridge so much maybe he should go there.

Might not be the way you think but there’s nothing strange about his reasoning. At least he is thinking about these things.

DH's one big dream is that DD gets into Oxbridge.

Oh dear. Pity your poor kid.

You should move the premium bonds into a junior S&S ISA, she will make more this way.

Don’t keep changing the registered keeper if you ever want to sell or part ex your car. The more keepers the car has the less it is worth.

Car insurance: Sure, go ahead and save the £80. Although I don't know why you'd put the car back in your name after? Just leave it in his until there's some other reason it might need to change?

I think he's not wrong that giving her some independence on spending at 10 is a good thing. Some families do it with pocket money or birthday mondy. I have no idea what the return on premium bonds is so I'd mostly worry that she'd blow it. giving her a few pounds to spend independently is very different to having access to a few hundred quid.

Dishwasher - he sounds like my dad! For me, the dishwasher DOES save time because I can find 500 things to do while it's on and I think his approach is odd to consider the "dishwasher task" to take 3 hours. It doesn't. It takes the 10 minutes to load and the 10 minutes to unload and the time it's working is time to do other things. Also, I like a dishwasher because there is constant mess being generated in this house and this way, I don't have to wash up 5 x a day.

Private school... this one is INFURIATING. This theory is because Oxford and Cambridge have specifically said that they are trying to increase the proportion of children who attend from state schools. Lots of very privileged people are up in arms about their precious private school children being penalised.... Last time I checked the figures it was something like: 7% of the population attend private schools. At its peak, Oxbridge students were about 65% private school students. Subsequently, due to the significant effort oxbridge universities have made to reduce the proportion of private school students, it's around 35% or so (although there's also a large international student population).

What this means is that yes, it is NOT as easy to get into Oxbridge from private school as it used to be. But it is STILL significantly more likely to get in than from state school. Or, to look at it another way, a much higher proportion of private school students are accepted at Oxbrige vs the percentage of state school students who gain a place.

I can’t see that anyone has already linked to this, but buying Premium Bonds is a poor way of investing money for DD, even if you want quick access. The best rated interest bearing accounts will beat Premium Bonds every time, and you’ll get the benefits of compound interest if you leave it be. You have a far, far higher chance of winning the National Lottery than any of the top Bond prizes, so that’s not even a good argument.

Spend a quid on the lottery now and then and move the lot to an high interest account and your DD will be much better off:

www.moneysavingexpert.com/savings/premium-bonds/

Almost anything saved in your daughters name she will be able to access in full at 18. If you do not want this set it aside for her but in your name, also check tax liability on money you save in a child's name

Well saving £80 for about 5-10mins worth of admin is still a good idea.

Maxing out premium bonds is also good, my dad regaulary gets prizes over £100 every month! It could add up to quote a bit of he takes the maximum allowed. Also those prizes could be used to teach her how to manage money, even if it is for colouring pens! You still spend money feeding her, buying clothes etc.