To be fed up of being on a good income but always skint?

Because her electric, gas and water bills are much higher than most other peoples'. If my water bills were that high I'd be worrying that I'd got a leak.

Because she will have more disposable money than what she currently thinks she does.

She literally said it’s all on a spreadsheet she doesn’t have in front of her right now. She doesn’t need to actually share it just because Mn demanded she does

Yep. As your salary rises, so do your outgoings. I would be well minted on my salary if I was still sharing a one bedroomed flat with two others and driving a beat up old mini. As a professional person over 50, is it wrong to suggest that’s not appropriate?

We don’t have “flashy” anything. We’re bringing in a combined salary of £110k per year. The take home reduces because of salary sacrifice in pensions, high rate tax etc. We’re not skint by any stretch of the imagination but we are having to watch what we spend, way more than we used to. We live in a cheap-ish area, our mortgage is around £1,300. If we had £600 a month more going out in mortgage, we’d feel the squeeze.

To be fair she has, she doesn’t really know what her expenditure is and can’t list much off the top of her head. With a lack of awareness of her outgoings it’s not a leap to assume money is most likely faffed in areas that don’t make them feel better off.

Yep we're similar. It's endless isn't it, and I'm absolutely sick of it. I've looked at selling and even downsizing but we have a 4 bed so trying to buy even a 3 bed near us would cost us more. We're actually looking at going abroad there has to be more to life I feel!

And you had to pay for them yourself? Madness

I'm generally of the mind that I dislike bashing posts like this, because everyone is entitled to feel disappointed that their money doesn't go as far as it used to.

But come on – you are very actively making hugely expensive choices here that you don't need to. You are just hanging on with the tips of your fingers to a lifestyle you can't afford, but want to. And I say this in a household of £185k income and a £2.5k mortgage also. You have made your choices. Choice is a luxury.

No wonder people are skint if a family small and young enough to live in a two bed flat and requiring wraparound care somehow manage to spend £800 a month on food. That's absolute insanity.

We're a family of four (DCs are 7 and 4), and we don't spend half that.

Why do you think she hasn’t reviewed her expenditure properly?

But she's not reviewing her expenditure properly. That's why so many of us have said she should.

@AquaPeer I can assure you that my qualifications (academic and professional) are absolutely required for the public sector role I undertake, which you or your family have probably used (or will do in the future) and which is an essential, costly service. Yes, my qualifications have allowed me to undertake a higher-level role, but in the public sector there is an effective ceiling around the £50K mark for the majority of roles outside management and/or niche professional roles and, increasingly, it is very difficult to get support for further qualifications unless you self-fund, as I have needed to do.

@ioioitdj I think you’ve embarrassed yourself more with this post than the husband of your friend has tbh.

You're entitled to your opinion. I'm not embarrassed at all. I am proud of what I have achieved and the work that I do. I perform an essential role which is renumerated very poorly for the qualifications and skills required. You may not realise (or indeed, care) that well-qualified public sector workers have often sacrificed an awful lot in order to provide you with the range of services you take for granted.

Enjoy your day.

Another ‘we don’t have any money but I’m not willing to work more hours or change my lifestyle’ post.

It sounds like remortgaging to get the work done on your house has bumped things up - hardly surprising.

We earn similar, have similar bills but save 1500 most months easily. We have 2 cars, holidays etc. we live well. No idea why you feel skint but my dad always used to say “enough is always a little bit more”.

And OP has given no indication she doesn’t review her expenditure. I mean, it’s pretty obvious right? Sensible, but also a bit cringe as a suggestion.

But this isn't surprising in a cost of living crisis is it? Inflation has been very high in recent years, which means that whatever the salary, unless the salary has risen in line with inflation then that salary buys less than it used to.

"A decent lifestyle" is very subjective. Higher earners get used to a different lifestyle to the lifestyle they had when they earned less. I spend more now than I did when I was a student, I have higher expectations. If I earned more than I do I would probably come to expect more.

In a cost of living crisis everyone has to cut back (unless they were spending a lot less than they were earning previously) and I'm not sure why people find this surprising. The difference between the higher earners and lower earners is that higher earners generally have a lot of luxuries that they can cut back on, although they may not want to, whereas lower earners were already living on the bread line without much unnecessary spend to cut.

I’m a bit confused where your money is going to be honest.

We have an almost identical income (including the split between me and DH) and our bills are pretty similar - mortgage is slightly lower but not by much, and we pay for after school childcare twice a week so that probably evens it out.

I’m not saying that to be unhelpful, I just think it really is worth looking at your outgoings to see where you’re spending the money because I don’t think you should be struggling that much. We’re not rolling in cash but I certainly wouldn’t say we’re skint.

I've just calculated with a £100k wage (so just your husband's salary, and none for you at all, plus a 10% pension contribution and the most expensive student loan plan to be on the safe side) and it comes out at £4.6k a month (and if e.g. no student loan and 5% pension, it'd be £5.4k). So I think that poster has a point - if you've at least £2k left after your 'big bills' and you're still feeling skint, then you're mismanaging your money/overspending somewhere or another.

A suggestion to review expenditure seems eminently sensible to me.

I earn 45k a year so not as much as you but I can’t afford anything nice after bills and rent are paid

I work 2 jobs and I’m shattered so I completely get it

I have never earned so much but been so skint

I think you need to check all your outgoing see if any money is disappearing in to savings or non essential spendings you are not aware of

Well this thread isn’t helpful is it? It’s just critical with a smattering of suggestions that no sensible person would expect a stranger on the internet to take up (“move to Scotland”)

We earn about half your combined income and whilst our mortgage is less (£1kpm) our other bills are similar and we live in an expensive part of the world. You need to look very carefully at your outgoings as there's no way you have nothing left after everything unless you are spending excessively elsewhere.

If you've never had to budget you could easily be spending £800+ on food but probably assume it's far less - we used to spend this but we now manage on £500pm for food but still have to be careful. This excess was due to not planning meals and just buying ad hoc locally which is always more expensive, chaging supermarkets (sainsbury to lidl) swopping from branded products stopping organic meat etc. It's really the little things that tend to add up - coffees out, hair & beauty, gym memberships, multiple TV subsriptions, cleaner/gardener, ironing/dry cleaning.

God forbid they should do anything to improve things instead of just moaning helplessly

Surely a chat would involve her coming back to the thread?
this is just a whinge.

No, OP doesn’t want solutions. She’s not once asked for them, and is presumably capable of solutioning herself. She just wants to chat.