To be fed up of being on a good income but always skint?

Lol at anyone who thinks a holiday in Cornwall is cheap. We did two trips a few years back, one to Devon and the other to Turkey. Turkey was cheaper overall. CoL means UK is even more expensive now

@Pigtailsandall that post is far too sensible!

Of course they haven't. Can't be arsed. Exactly the attitude that's causing them difficulty financially

Lol at the people that think they need to spend 2 weeks in Greece as a family holiday

Kids are expensive, and they won't appreciate Greece. Go spend a few days in Cornwall instead.

I know there are eleven billion threads like this (as PP said), but I think it's a sign of times how disillusioned lot of people feel. I'm also fed up with hearing the phrase "cut your cloth" because lot of people, well, shouldn't need to. Yes, there are people who don't budget well, and yes, there are impulsive shoppers and people who can't save and that's a different thing - but having a bit of budget flex for fun things in life should be normal if you have a decent salary. I'm always irked by my mum who keeps telling my younger sister to stop going out so much, because it doesn't matter how much she does or doesn't - her salary won't ever buy her a house or even a small flat where she lives. Her monthly savings can't keep up with the rising costs. And she is in a professional job with a decent salary.

The truth is that my parents, who were immigrants and completely unqualified, were able to build a great life for themselves in the early 80s as boomers. They have assets, big house and are finally accepting that they might need to help my sister up the property ladder cause no amount of giving up boozy brunches will do it (and they are in a position to do so, which is lucky - but just goes to show that times are very different). I have a smaller house, less kids and less savings than my parents did at my ages, yet I am better qualified and in a better job than either of my parents. So is my DH, and although we bring in a good salary, the cost of living is so high that it's kicking us in the balls. We are doing ok, and can afford small luxuries - and a holiday each year, at least so far - but I started off in my early 20s working hard and studying 10+ years so that I COULD be in a position of having money to spend. And I feel like I got a bit of a shite end of the deal. I worked so I could have decent money for things like popping to the pub for after-work drinks, buying organic produce and buying a pair of shoes just because I liked them. I save each month and I don't waste money, but I also hate that after years of training and working I'm still having to look at a spreadsheet to see if I should buy that new bedding set or not. I realise that reading this, it might come across bitter, but really, I'm just angry and peeved - more for lots of my friends than me, even.

It's absolutely ok to feel disappointed as to where you/we are at the moment. Just because you're not destitute doesn't mean life is joyful.

Days later and the OP still hasn't posted a FULL breakdown of their I&E. No one can advise fully until they do. And the fact they haven't, speaks volumes

Literally impossible unless you are doing interest only not repayment. Do you mean your home is 390k instead? Not that you've borrowed that amount?

It is but also depends on how many years left vs amount / interest rate. I pay just over 2500 pcm on a 8 year mortage for a spenny new home, we are trying to be mortage free asap so will see in 3 years of still feel the same ! ;)

Wow your mortgage is quite high, hopefully you can remortgage at a lower rate soon?

You neee to find a way to release 10% of your outgoings or earn 10% extra to get some breathing space in your finances. This will deliver c £7k per annum extra. Maybe for a while no more hols abroad but depending where you live, you can Deffo find ways to have good breaks (I live in Brighton for main reason have access to the downs and sea - anytime within 10 mins.) there are ways to increae inckme (market research - about six firms and you’ll need to be fast to get into groups - is great for parents as in the main these are now all online.) find ways to save across all the mad little subscriptions btw you and husband that are probably sitting on iPhone / Apple/ google. Find ways to cut anything you pay interest on to 0% deals. Open a bank account that you can use as a dummy account and access the 200 poind new account bonus that pop up every few months. Cut bills - be militant - call up companies - haggle on the phone. EG our interest was £55 reduced to now £24 a month for 4 of us, incl me wfh on video calls all day. (No tv packages). We but tv packages as ans when we want to see something specific - loads cheaper. Take advantage of free trial subscriptions and keep using them. Always have 3 current accounts too - one for all your essential DDS, one just for basic stuff, one dummy. Use credit cards for shopping etc and get points (like Amex). Always pay off each month. You will be surprised just how much you can cut/ save across bills // outgoings. Good luck!

Ok. Your monthly TH is about £6k. 50% of this are your basic mortage/bills/ car lease costs.

what I’d advise is looking into detail at the remaining 3k spend axeoss thr beloe

Fuel
road tax
home insurance
contents insurance
food / groceries
internet / phone / tv subscriptions
childcare costs
clothing
cleaners / cleaning
gardening costs
hobbies / clubs/ miscellaneous
weekend trips out etc
medical/ prescriptions
glasses/ contacts
DIY costs / minor fixes etc
socialising
birthdays / occasions
school costs - trips etc (or are you kids at private school?)
loans
credit cards

pension
savings

Still no real explanation for the large gap between between income & expenditure.

People have less income with the same expenditure but have 2 kids in nursery and are managing reasonably & go on holidays

Your lack of a full approx breakdown hints at the real reason you are 'skint'.

Someone earning 115k would take home £1400 a week. Is it your maths that is bad or that you don't understand tax?

@Snakebite61 what?

£115,000 p.a. works out at over £2200 per week. You must take expensive items for granted.

• Lived here 13 years - house cost £240k when we bought it, very affordable repayments then but as I said, interest rates shot up after our remortgage deal ended and so they are very high now

You started with a mortgage of £215k nearly a decade and a half ago, with much of that being in almost no interest so you must have borrow upwards of £150k to still have a mortgage of £300k now.

Again it’s all choices, it’s one thing to say ‘oh it’s just a modest 3 bed terrace it’s nothing extravagant’ but a terrace on my street is 1m so while it doesn’t seem extravagant is it to most incomes. And then to spend £150k borrowing for an extension certainly does put it into the extravagant category.

know - I KNOW - that there are people far worse off and I’m lucky in many ways, but those people who have half our income - would you not expect - as I did when we earned less - to feel fairly comfortable on our income?

It depends on how much is left after essential expenses.

Your bills are: mortgage - £1,900, energy - £270, council tax - £220, water - £120, car insurance - £58, car - £350.

Maybe £150 for TV licence, phone bills and petrol?

£3,168 for all bills and petrol.

Your combined take home is roughly £5.7K per month. £700 a month (roughly) for food so that's nearly £2K disposable - where's that money going?

‘Extravagant’ is relative. If you can’t afford it and are attempting to then it’s extravagant for your income.

OP couldn’t afford to take out more on the house and do the extension – not comfortably at least – and that’s why her mortgage payments are now eating into their disposable income. Doing Up a ‘doer upper’ is indeed extravagant when you don’t have the money to but are attempting it.

The alternative is not doing an extension and not doing up the house. Live with the 80s bathroom and kitchen and have your kids share rooms if you’d rather more holidays and meals out and you don’t want to work more hours.

As I say, I am generally of the mindset that everyone is entitled to feel disappointed at the income crunch. Times are tough, but it’s off that the OP says ‘we’ve got sweet FA to show for it’ – I wouldn’t call having a 3 bed home in London which you have extended ‘sweet FA’.

1. do a budget - review all cards/ bills/ outgoings for past 6 months.
2. look at whatever debt you have and interest rates on this. Tally how much per year interest you are paying.
3. look at how can get your expenditure for essentials - bills - lower. Use Martin Lewis or other site comparisons.
4. sign up for points cards, cash back etc.
5. food shop-use home delivery services - usually it’s only a few quid and stops any extras adding to food shop. Try to lower food shop bill to £400 a month - quickest way? Plant based diet. Reduce meat.
6. if you are good aT managing debt - take out 0% credit cards move any expenditure that is charging interest o to these to save money and start paying that debt off.
7. earn extra money via market research (have earnt in last 3-4k cash per year)
8. look to save 10% across all outgoings - aka c £700 per month to start off with.

It's your two SUVs on finance draining you lol

I completely agree with previous posters that have noted how many Mumsnetters are living in a fantasy world or are oblivious to how the world has changed in the past 20 years.

It's because so many posters are on their 50s and 60s

We bought a completely rundown 3 bedroom, 1930's semi in Zone 4, South London for £550k in 2017. We had a £50k deposit and the mortgage was £2050 p/m. We had to remortgage last year and that jumped to £2600 p/m.

Buying a clapped-out starter home on the outskirts of London is hardly an 'extravagant lifestyle'.

What's the alternative for a family of four? Private rented accommodation? Moving beyond Zone 4/Oyster travel zone and paying hundreds a month for travel into London? Moving to Scotland?

I completely agree with previous posters that have noted how many Mumsnetters are living in a fantasy world or are oblivious to how the world has changed in the past 20 years.

Honestly, a budget is primarily what you need. Dave Ramsay’s baby steps helped me structure goals (I just ignore any religious stuff he says).

There’s so many replies already you’re unlikely to see this but we were in the same boat - very good income, but didn’t have much to show for it bar a ton of debt, lots of BNPL (I had to put kids Xmas on Very accounts each year), very rare holidays, and no fancy car or house.

You know what the problem was, we had separate bank accounts, didn’t have a budget and had no mindfulness over our money.

The best thing that ever happened to us was my husband had a serious health scare - he had a brain haemorrhage. He’s ok now, but while he was in hospital I had to face up to what life would be like if he died, or even if he was just incapacitated (stroke etc). I couldn’t afford to pay our bills/debts on my wage alone, and I didn’t have any legal right to access his money. I promised that if he got through we would make big changes. We earned too much to be that poor, and had no idea where all our wages were going (turned out Tesco and take out and frivolous spending - it’s too easy to fritter away money and it doesn’t matter how much you earn you can easily spend more if not thinking about it).

We made HUGE changes. It’s been just over a year and we have joint accounts, a budget, and have paid off over £30k of debt so far. We are about 6 months away from being consumer debt free. Listening to Dave Ramsay podcast/total money makeover book helped learn a lesson on how to structure my goals with an emergency fund (I just ignore his religious stuff) and budgeting through 7 baby steps. There’s a great U.K. Facebook page called Dave Ramsay baby steps for U.K. that I joined and that helps ‘translate’ the steps for U.K. market.
You can do this. Get some control over your income : ) good luck.

Something else to consider OP, are you charging enough for your self employed work? How do you compare with local market rates and have you increased your prices in line with inflation?

you might get flamed but the joseph rowntree foundation says for a family with 2 adults 2 kids needs £69k (after tax) to live OK in the uk a year now. That’s £100k a year pre tax. they mean OK as can afford living (odd meal out and a modest holiday once a year).

That's interesting