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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be fed up of being on a good income but always skint?

620 replies

Justonemorecurlywurly · 14/04/2025 00:09

I know I’m going to get flamed, lots of “boo-hoo, poor you”, and that there are people far worse off but -

Our household income (family of 4) is roughly £110-120k. DH earns about £100k of that, I’m self employed and part time so my income fluctuates. I think that’s pretty good money but it feels like we can never afford to do anything.

No holiday for 2 years.
1 car
Very few clothes
Modest house

If after paying bills, we ever buy something non-essential like a meal out, or maybe one or two items of new clothes, birthday present, that’s it, we’re out of money for the month. And we have no savings. It’s ridiculous!

We did try to move a few years back but couldn’t afford it so remortgaged instead to extend the house a little. We got the best deal we could and borrowed only as much as we were comfortable with (even though it meant we couldn’t do as much work as we needed). But unfortunately we made a mistake fixing the new mortgage for only two years and when that time was up, rates had shot to which has made our repayments considerably more expensive which really hasn’t helped.

I’m so fed up of it. I honestly feel like we felt so much better off about 10 years ago when we were earning A LOT less.

Does anyone else feel like this? Is it just that everything is so expensive now??

I know some people will say I should work full time but for reasons I won’t go into, I need to be available for my DC so me being p/t works much better for the whole family.

OP posts:
cakeandteaandcake · 14/04/2025 06:27

Hmm, to me it’s a bit telling that you need to look at a spreadsheet and don’t actually know what everything costs. To manage your money properly you need to KNOW, really know, how much all your bills and outgoings are, and where your money is going. Because something isn’t adding up here and it sounds like your head is further in the sand than you think about what you’re spending.

MikeRafone · 14/04/2025 06:24

Many on Mumsnet would advise to sit down with 3 months bank statements and see where exactly your money is being spent

MikeRafone · 14/04/2025 06:20

Justonemorecurlywurly · 14/04/2025 00:50

@ChompinCrocodiles it’s not £7k. I only earn UP TO £20k - most years it’s a lot less.

I can assure you we’re not “Pissing it away”

@Blondeshavemorefun I will have to do this tomorrow when I have my computer

On £100,000 a year monthly income net is £5,717 ( minus decent pension at 5% will be £5,463 or £5213 at 10%)

so if your bills are £2,500, that leaves £2,500+ disposable income

then anything OP earns is extra

If you’re struggling to live on £2500+ after the essential bills & c/tax are paid then there is something wrong.

Zanatdy · 14/04/2025 06:07

One thing that helps me is having a Christmas / bday savings account. I work out roughly how much it will cost, then divide by 12. That way no month is more expensive than another. I am on one income, 67k, and rent is £1400 but I don’t struggle and can save. You need to look at your outgoings, yes your mortgage is high, but your income is good too. I am sure there are savings you can make. Small changes like taking own lunch to work make a difference. I get one shopping delivery per week, and won’t go into a shop unless I run out of something. Post your breakdown and sure you’ll get some ideas of where you can save.

You really do need to look at your pension too, you’re very vulnerable working part time and no pension.

Mustreadabook · 14/04/2025 05:43

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/04/2025 00:33

That’s aimed at me lol

i can’t imagine earning over £100k and not having a holiday /save a few pounds a month

I don’t even earn half that a year, prob nearer a third £30k and only me and dd8 - yet manage to save for a holiday every year abroad and have very small savings

yes mortgage /rent are high

other household bills are a cost

op has no childcare costs which many do and why struggle

Show quote history

You are taking home probably about half as much as the op when you take into account tax rates. And there are only 2 of you, 4 of them. So not too different

Wonderwoman333 · 14/04/2025 04:38

Your household income is in the highest 10% of the country.
How do you think people manage on average or below average incomes?
You are obviously not managing your money well enough.

Bjorkdidit · 14/04/2025 03:03

It's almost certain you're spending a lot more than you think and a lot more than you need to for you to be in the position you say you are. Your income more than covers the basics with plenty left over so you're leaking money somewhere.

Definitely do the money makeover linked to above and follow the advice about cutting costs. Your energy costs are huge for a 3 bed house, you need to work out why and try to reduce. We cut our gas use by over a third by closing the living room door in the evening.

Also download a few months or even a year's worth of spending into a spreadsheet and analyse it to see where your money is going.

Can you work more when your DH can look after DC?

Copasetic · 14/04/2025 02:17

I can quite believe that. Our income is similar to yours. We have no mortgage but my son's hobby is very expensive so like a mortgage. I'd say we feel like we have a bit more money than you left over but not much more. If you've got a significant mortgage that would make sense.

caringcarer · 14/04/2025 01:40

£270 is a lot to spend on energy each month. We have only had the heating on in April about 2 days. I've got 6 bedrooms and my energy is only about £225 per month. Can you cut back on heating. Why are you using so much energy every month?

caringcarer · 14/04/2025 01:07

Justonemorecurlywurly · 14/04/2025 00:28

@Poppyseeds79 I actually have it all on a spreadsheet but can’t look at that now as it’s on my computer.
But some of the big bills are the mortgage (£1,900), energy (£270) council tax (£220) water (£120)

Your mortgage is such a big chunk of salary.

Poppyseeds79 · 14/04/2025 00:56

Justonemorecurlywurly · 14/04/2025 00:28

@Poppyseeds79 I actually have it all on a spreadsheet but can’t look at that now as it’s on my computer.
But some of the big bills are the mortgage (£1,900), energy (£270) council tax (£220) water (£120)

Totally get that!... But it doesn't then really tally with your income?

I'm on 27,750
Rent 487
CT 110
Phone 27
TV 12
Utilities 150
Water 30
Travel 300 (crazy but I'm on secondment)
Food 150

I could still afford a holiday but that obviously as a lone person.

JHound · 14/04/2025 00:55

Sounds like You Need A Budget.

Original poster
Justonemorecurlywurly · 14/04/2025 00:53

@SchoolDilemma17 yes, my income is low but as I mentioned earlier, I need to stick with my flexible p/t work due to family issues.

OP posts:
SchoolDilemma17 · 14/04/2025 00:52

To point out the obvious your income is too low. How are you going to top up your pension on 10-£20k a year? Can you take a PT job to at least secure another 20k a year. That would make a difference to your household income!

We had similar mortgage cost and bills to yours, and our combined income was higher than yours.

Original poster
Justonemorecurlywurly · 14/04/2025 00:50

@ChompinCrocodiles it’s not £7k. I only earn UP TO £20k - most years it’s a lot less.

I can assure you we’re not “Pissing it away”

@Blondeshavemorefun I will have to do this tomorrow when I have my computer

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 14/04/2025 00:48

Justonemorecurlywurly · 14/04/2025 00:43

@Blondeshavemorefun I look at it regularly and just can’t work out what to cut…We’re really not spending on luxuries. I’ve just realised I’ve only been out socially once this year.

Post it on here

sure many can give you ideas /tips how to reduce certain bills

ChompinCrocodiles · 14/04/2025 00:45

But some of the big bills are the mortgage (£1,900), energy (£270) council tax (£220) water (£120)

One person earning £100k and another earning £20k brings in circa £7k a month.

Op's big bills come to £2500.

That's £4.5k a month left. Absolutely bonkers that's you'd feel skint on that.

The likely reason is just pure mismanagement and pissing your money away.

Original poster
Justonemorecurlywurly · 14/04/2025 00:43

@Blondeshavemorefun I look at it regularly and just can’t work out what to cut…We’re really not spending on luxuries. I’ve just realised I’ve only been out socially once this year.

OP posts:
Original poster
Justonemorecurlywurly · 14/04/2025 00:41

Thanks @paulyispoorly

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 14/04/2025 00:40

Justonemorecurlywurly · 14/04/2025 00:36

@Blondeshavemorefun yes - if you’d told me a few years ago that our income would be this much, I would’ve thought we’d be living the high life. But it’s almost like the more we earn, the poorer we get! And we’ve got sweet FA to show for it!!

You say you have a spreadsheet so go through it with a fine tooth comb

to have nothing at the end of every month is very unusual surely for your income

you say skint

tho from other treads what one means skint isn’t what another skint is iyswim

not having a go. Just curious - how can spend so much

Fancytallglass · 14/04/2025 00:39

@paulyispoorlymy lord who is paying ONLY £900 for a mortgage or rent? Mine is £1650 for a two bed flat and I'm on a single income.

My absolute essentials come to £2800 a month PLUS food PLUS travel and fuel. So what's that, £3300 a month just to get to work basically to then pay the bills? Just for me. And before anyone asks my only subscription is with ads Netflix.

I sympathise op.

Original poster
Justonemorecurlywurly · 14/04/2025 00:39

…and the work we had done on our house just wasn’t enough, no matter how hard I tried to stretch the budget. Not one room is finished and I feel overwhelmed by the work there is left to do that we will have to DIY…

OP posts:
Original poster
Justonemorecurlywurly · 14/04/2025 00:37

Yes @MellowPinkDeer I know that we are fortunate too - we can keep our family warm/clothed/fed etc when so many people can’t.

OP posts:
Original poster
Justonemorecurlywurly · 14/04/2025 00:36

@Blondeshavemorefun yes - if you’d told me a few years ago that our income would be this much, I would’ve thought we’d be living the high life. But it’s almost like the more we earn, the poorer we get! And we’ve got sweet FA to show for it!!

OP posts:
MellowPinkDeer · 14/04/2025 00:35

We have to put £4200 into our joint account just to cover mortgage / bills. I feel more skint than ever but know we are fortunate really. @Justonemorecurlywurly living Costs are nuts.