To be fed up of being on a good income but always skint?

@AquaPeer that's actually depressing

I get why some people in really difficult financial situations are miffed with posts like this.

But I think its ok to feel frustrated. Out household income is about 130k. We both left shitty previous relationships (one gambler and drinker and one a weed smoker who never worked). Went to uni late twenties with kids not younger. Both have around 40k student debt still. Mortgage of 1200. We also have a large blended family (who all live with us, several kids with SEND) and have huge bills on utilities, having bigger cars, A house bug enough for everyone.

The bigger salary is DHs at 90k, but it's only hit high levels in his 40s, 5 years ago her was on 40k and 10 years ago 25k.

We don't have foreign holidays, our cars are 10 years old but reliable, clothes from Vinted or maybe a rare treat from next or m and s.

We are absolutely comfortable. But we have both worn ourselves out to the bone, worked under significant stress, done masters degrees whilst working full time and looking after kids.

I think it is ok to look at the lifestyle that someone in our position had in the 80s/90s when we were growing up and feel frustrated at how basic our lifestyle is. Yes we have a comfortable home and all the necessities, but my grandparents had that on entry level jobs and would have scoffed at working extra hours unpaid, studying in the evening etc.

That doesn't mean we aren't grateful not to be in a dire situation but it's ok that we feel a bit frustrated too.

This!

Literally no one said it’s “barely over” but the take home is not multiple times higher like many posters are suggesting.

Quite

He is ALWAYS taking home way, way over what someone on UC is.

Nobody has said otherwise but perhaps you haven't read the thread.

Literally no one said it’s “barely over” but the take home is not multiple times higher like many posters are suggesting.

@AquaPeer in certain private industries that is pretty normal although yes 2.5% is a pretty low contribution. DHs pays more but that's due to additional contributions for tax purposes.

I just assume lots of people work in the public sector, teachers get 28% now which is 😮. I'm still annoyed that the scheme i'm in used to be better but closed to newer entrants whilst I was at uni 😆

Well I think there are lots of people here don’t understand the tax system, going on about OPs H not being that better off than someone on UC as he pays 40% tax. 🙄

He doesn’t pay tax on all his earnings, only on those above the 20% tax bracket. Unless they have changed it since I last looked, he also won’t pay NI on the earnings above the 20% tax bracket, which is a substantial saving. He is ALWAYS taking home way, way over what someone on UC is. Theses attempts to make out a household on £120k a year are only slightly better off than someone on minimum wage and UC are not just laughably ridiculous but also quite grotesque.

In terms of life not being what you expect and the social contract, I currently have 2 friends (a similar type though as you will see) who have recently left their spouses, children and large houses because having finally hit the promotion that took them to more then 500k salary, they realised they couldn’t live the life they believed £500k got them- and had been working towards/ promised all their career. So they have tried changing “something else” to get the life they desire

I work part time and on shifts so we dont need it (op also doesn't mention childcare)

We're not on universal credit, we don't qualify. We do have two kids.

@Napface so you get 41k (why aren't you using tax free childcare by the way - it goes up to 16 & can be used for clubs). The gap will be smaller than you think!

Obviously without seeing the exact spreadsheet of your outgoings it's hard to comment. We have a similar income and mortgage but seem to be fine for money. We haven't always been and still hold on to frugal habits. We don't have car loans, or in fact buy anything on finance. Our mobiles are £10 a month sim only contracts. We save a lot so that big bills don't knock us sideways. We don't buy a lot. It's so easy to fritter money away having on 'essentials' e.g top of the range phone contract each would be nearly £100 month. If you have cars on finance that could be between £700 - 800 a month. Gym memberships could be £100 plus for both of you a month. Modern life adds up but you can make big savings. Don't buy on finance. Create a home gym. Don't do meal boxes etc. Not saying you do any of these things but these could be areas you can make savings.

It’s all relative though isn’t it. If your house is in a ‘nicer’ area then your mortgage will be bigger and your council tax bill. But your mortgage is bigger because your house is worth more money and at the end of the day, if you manage to pay it off you will own a very big asset. The cost of living understandably makes you feel worse off but you are still incredibly lucky because you can afford to make the choice to live somewhere more expensive that you will potentially own one day and pass on to your kids. If you really want to prioritise going out and holidays you could choose to do that by moving to a house of equal size in a less appealing area.

I get the same as you but I consider myself to be in an exceptionally good scheme. Most workers never see the like of ours, let alone 10% free money for a 2.5% contribution

@AquaPeer my DH gets similar in a big law firm.

I get 20% ish & pay in 8% for a DB pension

I get £170 a month child benefit, no I don't claim for childcare. Not sure that bumps our income up to the equivalent of £120k?

OP, sympathies. Our household income is a fair bit more but one more child and yes it’s not going anywhere near as far as I would expect. The cost of everything is insane. I think a really hard part is the amount we spend to mitigate the current absolute inadequacy of public provided services - eg ed psych, tutoring, dentistry and medical. Those things eat money like nobody’s business even with private insurance.

Haha it is very good to be fair. You get 10% as standard and then they match the 2.5%. It’s financial services.

Possibly universal credit depending how many kids ...

I think there’s a trap lots of people fall into when they hit the 6 figure salary mark where they assume they’re now doing well.

You watch TV and see a couple with “ordinary jobs” living in a huge house, driving an SUV, dressed immaculately; or your best friend with a “role in marketing” goes on a 5* trip to the Maldives; or your neighbours have just spent 6 figures on an extension and you take it at face value rather than appreciate your friend is actually on £200k; your neighbour inherited £500k when her parent died; the TV couple are totally make believe and what Netflix would have you believe is a “naice family home” is actually a £3m terrace in west London.

the truth is if you have housing costs of £3k (mortgage, council tax, utilities) and you feel like you “should” be able to afford a Saturday night take away, the odd bottle of wine, tea and cake whilst out on Sunday you’re going to burn through your £110k very quickly

I have no idea what the take home would be on £120k but ours is about £39k

No shit! Do you get child benefit, free childcare hours? tax free childcare?

Oh come on!

You have no mortgage? Lucky you.

You either live in a very cheap area of the UK or had some windfall to pay for your house.

And the private school must be very cheap. Top public schools are at least £40K pa- meaning someone has to earn over £80K gross just to fund one child. And that's just for their schooling- no housing or other costs!

WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU WORK?!! I have worked with some of the best pension funds in the UK and have never heard of such an incredible one

edit- does that also mean you can never leave

I'd be going through every expense for three months because this definition of skint is definitely different to mine.