To think people who stay in abusive relationships long-term and expose their kids to it are complicit in harming them?

131 replies

WildHazelCritic · 13/04/2025 17:34

We all say “they need support” and they do but if someone stays with an abuser for years while their kids witness the chaos, doesn’t that cross into neglect? AIBU to think sympathy has limits?

OP posts:

YesHonestly · 13/04/2025 17:41

Well yes I suppose it does, otherwise social services wouldn’t become involved with families due to domestic abuse, and failure to protect wouldn’t be a thing.

I’m not saying it’s easy to leave though.

Anonym00se · 13/04/2025 17:40

The problem is that it can take abused women many years to realise and accept that they are being abused. It’s really not that easy.

mbosnz · 13/04/2025 17:39

I thank goodness I've never been in that situation, but it doesn't take too much imagination to envisage that sometimes the devil you know may seem potentially the lesser evil, not least for your children. Frustrating and unfathomable as it can seem to those not living it.

Strugglingmumof3 · 13/04/2025 17:39

Have you ever tried leaving an abusive relationship? If not. I’m not sure you understand how everything including our court system is against you from the second you leave. If it was easy I am sure people would leave sooner.

Ohisitjustme · 13/04/2025 17:39

Read "Nesting" by Roisin O Donnell

Leaving isn't easy

Largestlegocollectionever · 13/04/2025 17:38

It’s something we’ve raised with our mum, who stayed with our alcoholic abusive father until he left her when I was 20.

Especially as we feel it was done mostly due to finances (he’s very rich and we lived in a large, and very unique stunning house) and ‘what would the neighbours think’ attitude - both of which should have come after our safety and wellbeing.

So yeah, whilst I feel dreadfully sorry for any parent being abused - they need to put kids first!

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