To contacted a friend who is ghosting me

31 replies

pussinboots61 · 13/04/2025 14:29

I know some friendships can fade out but how do you deal with a friend who is ghosting you and completely ignoring you?

A friend who I've been good friends with for the past eight years has suddenly stopped contacting me. We haven't fallen out or anything.

We met at work and clicked straight away because we share the same sense of humour. However, she does have a down side where she can be snappy for no reason and for this reason some people at work couldn't take to her fully,

I went away with her for a week two years ago and it wasn't the laugh and fun I thought it would be as she was snappy with me for no reason but I let it go.

She met some new friends about two years ago whilst she was away on her own and she did change after that. They are the party boozy types were I am not anymore. She was suddenly all for them but still met me and kept in contact with me but spent our whole meetings just going on about them and texting them. Not that I am jealous as I have other friends but I don't behave like that. I felt she was being rude.

Anyway we were in touch via Facebook messenger daily until January of this year when she replied to my text when I asked her if she was OK as I hadn't heard from her for a week and she said she was fine and with her son for his birthday and that she would message me the next day. I have heard nothing from her since.

I messaged her to ask if she was OK, still no reply. I left it a few days and messeged her again, still nothing. But then I noticed that she was active on Facebook so knew she was OK at least. Then came the photos of her being away with these other friends boozing and partying. I put a comment on her post, tagging her in, to say I am glad that she's OK as I had been concerned about her but no response, even though she's replied to other people who have commented the post.

I feel loathed to contact her again but it hurts that she is treating me like this. She used to tell me that she thought a lot of me as a friend. She even asked me to go and view a flat with her that she had been offered two years ago as she valued my opinion.

Should I try and contact her again or forget her but how can I move on from it?

OP posts:

Londonwaiting · 13/04/2025 15:33

Do not humiliate yourself by contacting her.

She’s met a new group of people who fit in with how she wants to spend her time. You don’t anymore. It sounds like this friendship has been fading for a while, and she finally decided to exit altogether. I imagine your post saying ‘Glad you are ok’ came across as a bit of a dig, and will have made her feel justified in dropping you.

You’d be better off finding friends who better fit how you like to spend your free time.

Swirlythingy2025 · 13/04/2025 15:25

She ghosted you? That’s all you need to know. You don’t chase people who’ve already walked out the door. Friendship is like capital if it’s not yielding value or respect, you divest. You gave her chances, she made her choice. Now make yours: move on, level up, and don’t look back. Let her party while you build peace. That’s the real win.

Cosyblankets · 13/04/2025 15:22

You wouldn't gain anything she'll just ignore you so move on

Didimum · 13/04/2025 15:20

It’s a shabby way to treat someone, but it’s highly unlikely you’ll get the closure you need from her, OP. You’d be in a much healthier mindset if it’s the kind of thing you can find closure for yourself for.

A friend did this to me once. It’s now been over 2 years. I don’t need people in my life like that who like to create passive dramas, so I’m happy to fill the space with better relationships.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 13/04/2025 14:43

You are wasting your time contacting her and to be quite frank she doesn’t deserve such a caring friend.
We meet friends for all different types of reasons, and the same goes for the reasons why they stay in our lives.
Your friend sounds like she moves in cycles.
These new friends are party friends and if that’s her thing, that’s her thing. But social/boozy friends are very different to loyal ones who are really there for you.
At this point, you probably don’t know what’s going on in her world. She doesn’t want you to. She’s masking it by searching for fun.
She also sounds like hard work if she was snappy with you.
As a female losing a close female friend can be absolutely awful. But you have other friends - concentrate your efforts on meeting up with them and let this one go.
This woman probably can’t face any type of reality check or meaningful conversation right now.
I am sorry you have been treated shabbily, you sound like a fab friend!

XWKD · 13/04/2025 14:35

Don't bother. If she was difficult, and you tolerated her, she probably had nobody else. She has shown her true colours now.

I'm sorry you feel sad, but once you make your mind up to dump her, it will be easier.

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