Ignoring whatsapp messages

Well yeah, I do judge people who can't even be bothered to be civil to people they call their friends.... 🤷🏼‍♀️

Prob the same people who complain they don't then get invited to things - people get sick of asking and being ignored

I have a friend who either doesn’t respond on WhatsApp or does so when it suits her. It’s annoying, and rude. But you know what, it doesn’t affect our relationship - we still fairly regularly, still have a good laugh, and she’s still supportive as a friend. I’ve just learned she’s got no interest in text chat unless absolutely necessary.

That’s not really the same though, is it? There’s only one jacket, so only one person can possibly have taken it - therefore only one person needs to reply. If they do, you get the jacket back and that’s it; you’re not waiting for any more answers.

“Mamma Mia’s in town at the end of June - anyone fancy getting tickets?” is a question open to everyone. It’s not the same as asking a group of people a question that only one person can possibly answer “yes” to.

Agree I don’t like it when people ignore messages

Not a nice post!

and judgy..

I agree with the “it’s a group question not an individual one so not rude to not reply”.

On the flip side, I’m driven insane with the opposite attitude int the class Whatsapp: “Has anyone’s child taken Bobby’s jacket home by mistake?” Cue 20 replies of “No, Milly hasn’t.”

Why do you have to do all those wonderings? Its on them. If they don’t get back don’t include them. Have your own boundary instead of trying to second guess others

I’m wondering if the deeper issue here is anger around not knowing if people want to spend time with us or not - not from this post but from OP

I totally agree OP, it is rude and inconsiderate.

I am guilty of being a bit of a rubbish replier. Soemtiems I just get really overwhelmed with my phone and texting and I end up not being active on responses. We can't always assume people are available to talk just because they have their phone if you know what I mean.... but that being said, completely ignoring an invitation is just rude and there's no excusing it.

Of course you could. But it doesn’t stop you being able to reply to a message. One in one phone/in-person catch-ups and responses to group messages are not mutually exclusive.

Phone calls and face to face chats also invariably take more time than ten seconds to say “Let me check my diary” on WhatsApp, so the whole “I’m just far too busy juggling work AND a family” line doesn’t really wash.

I dont suggest tickets now theatre or cinema as people dont reply. Its def frustrating. Interesting thread. I work better on one to one meetups. We have school app we work on bus end but the girls good would always reply we would meet for coffee.

It's definitely rude. I'll ask the group chat if they'd like to book tickets somewhere or arrange something. If someone doesn't reply then I don't know if they, a) haven't seen it yet and I should wait, b) they've forgotten to message back or c) they don't want to and instead of saying so are just ignoring me.

Just reply when you get a minute. What's hard about that?

I have none outstanding. Spoke to my family today, caught up with my friends yesterday.

The only group chats I have are family ones and work ones. My friends and I speak in real life. Doesn't mean I don't understand how easy it is to miss a message.

Unless, of course, we were all perfect like you and never forget anything ever.

I mean, you're managing a fair amount of time on MN today! Maybe spend the time catching up on some correspondence instead.

I stopped responding to What's App chats ages ago. I don't need it for work, or anything important, and I find it really invasive to be added to a chat that I haven't wanted to be involved with. I only respond to texts. Information has become overwhelming to me and I'm fed up of trying to find important things and not knowing whether they were sent in a text, email, WA or messenger. Not to even go down the FB, Insta or anything else bloody route. So maybe your friends are just feeling busy and overwhelmed?

Or, I could have regular catch ups with my friends, either by phone or in person, and make plans that keep us in touch that way.

You’re just making things up now. Who has said anything about your phone being “constantly in your hand”? You could check it twice a day!

I agree with this.

Given your reactions to my comments, I would imagine you think messages (and probably your phone screen in general) are of paramount importance.

If you need an answer from me, or want a chat, call me. I can talk while doing things, and I have headphones / hands free stuff. I cannot do things with my phone in my hand constantly, and nor should I be.

That's how I stay in contact with my friends. Not through a screen in ways that can be missed. Through actual conversation.

Millions of people somehow cope with having both a job and a family. And again, who is saying you have to drop everything to make an instant decision? How hard is it to say “Will check with Steve and get back to you?”

Who said anything about “demanding immediate answers”? I didn’t. Neither did the OP. This is about people who simply don’t answer full stop.

If there’s too much going on in their lives to answer a simple message, it’s even less likely they’ll have time for a lovely chat.

I am with you on this, my friends are important to me and keeping up with them was vital during those early child rearing years.

I would actively start looking at other avenues. Groups you can join, anything separate to them.

It is rude. It takes seconds to say, oh sorry I can't. And it's upsetting for you. So only you can deal with it. Stop asking, invest your time and energy elsewhere. Definitely don't ask why because it really will be turned against you. Just cultivate other roads 💐

This

OP the response has nothing to do with your value. I’m saying this as you seem angry

I think you can ask if you want to but you need to frame it from “I feel xxx when yyy happens and I’m wondering we can agree Zzz”.

you need to let people be themselves though. I think just bringing it up might clear the air for you

I mark them back as unread so I don't forget to go back to it. Not hard.