To think how you look is still essentially the most influential thing in how people treat you?

It is true. Unfair, but true. Being physically attractive is a type of social currency. 'Pretty Privilege' is very real.

And the old stereotype of good looking people usually being dim really doesn't hold water either (much as some people would love to believe it true). Of all the people I know who are conventionally good looking, they're all intelligent and well educated.

This isn’t the case in my work for a large employer. The directors are actually quite short! We have a few women in senior management (very male dominated industry), and in general the female leaders are extremely well respected (and not conventionally good looking).

I agree with this.

Throughout my life people generally have overlooked me and generally ignored me because I lack self confidence and have low self esteem.

On the rare occasions when I've actually been relaxed and confident then it's been chalk and cheese and I've morphed from being invisible to somebody people actually see and take notice of.

I think the world has always been like this but I do think with so much value placed on superficial qualities these days it is a lot easier for those with "bigger" personalities to be heard and those of us more introverted or reserved to be totally ignored.

People will deny it but there are studies showing this is true.

I wish this is true. I work with a very competent, confident woman but the blokes laugh about her look behind her back. I'm very disappointed when I know. Look matters. Also height matters. Most people who are managers, directors have at least average height.

I’m old and wrinkly but I generally find that people treat me well. That’s because I make the first move, so smile at them and make a pleasant comment. People rarely ignore you if you do that.
The art of small talk is grossly underrated.

I think you are right and interestingly it also affects who you become friends with and who becomes friends with you.

Have you ever noticed that groups of women who are friends are all on a similar level of looks? There may be one or two outliers but the core of the groups is the same.

A group of ultra-thin, botox and fillers, long blonde extensions, designer clothes women will all look the same. They won't have any friends in the group who are overweight, even normal weight or not plastic surgeried face wise -a normal face.

A group of more very average overweight fleece wearing chilled out women will all look the same. They won't have any slim, glamourous stylish women in the group.

These are extreme examples but you can apply it across the board - beautiful people are friends with other beautiful people, average + people with average + people, average with average, ugly with ugly.

It's really weird. I suppose it's a case of bird of a feather flock together.

Yet another post equating young people with being more attractive, some of the women here are so down on themselves. Speak for yourself

Maybe it’s confidence that people respond to

Good looking or ugly according to whom? What criteria are you going off

No. I don’t agree at all. What I think most influences people is confidence (and I don’t mean bravado). That inner confidence and contentment that so few have is what people react to most.

I was going to start by saying “these days it is” but actually, it’s always been the way.

Im older, fat and very unattractive which actually does not give me a single second of angst.
Im in the Miriam Margolese and Cathy Burke camp and couldn’t give a flying fuck quite frankly.

But I do know that people treat me very differently than when I was a slender blonde haired young woman many years ago.
People are reserved, respectful but very dismissive and often I feel invisible or defunct in (rare) social occasions.

I agree and I now understand my mother when she told me that you become invisible as you get older. I’m 53 and find myself largely ignored (which isn’t always a bad thing but it is rude!)

I’m sorry you feel like that but I dont agree. I’m not especially attractive but I feel most people treat me with respect. I did feel once i had kids a big change in how some people treated me, but that was nothing to do with my appearance.

I think as I get older I see different things. I judge people much more on their morals , values and behaviours now. I know who ‘my kind of people are’ and this isn’t about looks at all. In the workplace I think people see professionalism before beauty ( in my experience) so maybe a stranger in the street gets judged more on looks where as someone in a different setting doesn’t ?

I’ve been fat and plain my whole life. I consider it my superpower to filter out arseholes from the get go. People who bother getting to know me are usually wonderful. It is annoying when it comes to job interviews though.