Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think DH is being a total obstructive misery

55 replies

MintSausage · 13/04/2025 10:21

House needs redecorating. It’s been like this for years. DH works very long hours, and has done a couple of big jobs but it takes a full weekend. Part of the problem is that he is so overly precise about everything, can’t find the stuff he needs, spends ages on YouTube looking at ‘how to videos’ and is easily distracted.

I’m trying to also get jobs done, but every step of the way is a nightmare. His immediate reaction is to comment negatively on whatever I am doing. I put the sander back in the garage yesterday intending to use it this morning. He’d gone out after I’d done that and brought it into the house, saying it’ll get damp in the garage. It’s good weather at the moment! I am not stupid.

Everything he is commenting on, complaining about and he is absolutely driving me nuts. I prefer it when he is at work and I can just get on.

I’ve spent about two weeks trying samples of paint colours, and he has had a problem with every f*ing thing I try.

And then he’s done f.all this weekend except watch football, listen to the radio, complain and stomp about. No DIY from him at all, just moaning at whatever I’ve done.

OP posts:
PonyPatter44 · 13/04/2025 10:31

Just hire a decorator. I couldn't be arsed with the nagging or the nitpicking, so I'd just pay someone to do it properly. My view is, I don't enjoy some jobs in the house, and I work hard enough for my money, so I can outsource things I don't really want to do.

Sulu17 · 13/04/2025 10:28

Hire someone to do the work and tell your DH to stop being such a misery.

Astrak · 13/04/2025 10:28

Have you thought of couple counselling? If he won't entertain that, how about going to your GP and asking for CBT? It's a useful tool for deciding what your current problems are, what, realistically, your options are and, if you choose a particular one, what the consequences might be.

HoskinsChoice · 13/04/2025 10:27

If he's working long hours during the week, it's difficult to begrudge him a bit of downtime watching the football. I'd get someone in to do it if you can afford it or do it yourself. Even if he complains, it's only a bit of short-term pain for long-term gain!

BIWI · 13/04/2025 10:22

Don’t ask him for his opinion! Just do it based on what you like/want to do.

(Or pay someone else to do it!)