Hen party brunch - is it normal for women to over-share like this?

knowing the sizes of my friends’ dh’s penises? Nope 🫣

We are a close friendship group and the closest we’ve got to is discussing the impact of menopause on libido.

The hen do sounds tacky but the sex talk wouldn’t bother or shock me - pretty normal in my world to discuss in detail. What’s there to feel grossed out by? Most people are having sex. We all know what it is. And if my partner wanted to discuss our sex life with his friends he is entitled to imo. That’s what friends are for, if you can’t overshare with them then who can you? Shouting about the waiter’s penis size is a bit OTT though.

Maybe you should actually read the first post?

Agree it is very vulgar

So many people now feel the need to be so open about everything that nothing is private anymore

I don’t want to know the size of one of my friends partners penis and what he does with it and I’m damn sure he wouldn’t want me to have knowledge of this either

Perfectly normal.

I know it happens but I am not friends with people who carry on like this, man or woman it happens and this 'all women are sweet angels who are pure' idea is not real

I am not a prude but I have never discussed these things with friends, I never ( out of respect for my partner) discuss our sexual activity or comment on his penis size…….sounds really tacky

I wouldn’t be shocked by it but I really don’t need to know the ins and outs of otger peoples sexual activity, it’s not interesting

I think the people who do it are just trying way to hard to try and convince people they are not prudes, it’s like the people who talk way too much about sex are probably not getting any

FGS people having sex since time began, its hardly a new thing and exclusive to just some people

I talk about sex with my friends but probably not anything too graphic like what makes me squirt and stuff like that. I think that's going a bit far tbh. And I have chatted about old boyfriends and sex but I think the general rule among my friends is that current boyfriends are off limits.

I talk about sex with my friends but not in these terms - nothing personal about my partner, and nothing very personal about us. Past experiences perhaps, things I have/haven’t done, like/don’t like. It probably wouldn’t offend me to hear people speak like this, but I wouldn’t join in.

I would hate topless waiters/butlers in the buff/strippers. Happily never been to a hen do like that. And I wouldn’t like the comments about men’s bodies/body parts. I would find that offensive and I’d say something about that.

Generally I don’t mind an overshare. I love my female friends and love that we can talk openly and honestly. Of course, there is a line that’s different for everyone (and I’ve describe my line above).

Exactly. Adults can discuss their sex lives in strip clubs, hen do, down the pub. You don't have to like it but there's nothing actually wrong with it in certain circumstances. People are allowed to share their feelings about their own lives?

I know that hen dos have now a tradition of being raucous, bawdy, alcohol-fuelled etc. I think that's vile. I hate it, it's not me, my hen do will be me and my daughter and DIL, sister, mum, whoever else close, having a lovely time being pampered and having supper cooked for us by a personal chef etc. A reverential pre-nuptial experience.

But lots of women do go for the rough hen dos and love them.

Personally I would feel sick if I knew what made a female friend have that 'reaction'.

I would love the topless waiters though. They would have soothed me.

It sounds like the discussion became crude, poor waiters!!

Generally though I don’t think people talk enough about sex and that’s why so many women don’t have good experiences!! There’s a post on here at the moment where a wife doesn’t want sex ever again and the number of women agreeing they’d rather do anything else is astonishing. Maybe if they had talked more about their experiences over the years with friends, they’d know what was possible and hold their partners to a higher standard in bed.

Well I for one would hate that! Imagine their partners would too.

When you said oversharing I thought you meant things like health conditions, who's on mounjaro- I know women and 1 guy like that, but I would probably want to crawl out of the bar rather than sit there awkwardly listening.

It’s been a long time since I had to go to a hen party (thank god) but I’d say that’s normal for a hen party that features shirtless waiters, yes.

I don’t think talking about sex, per se, is really a problem at a hen party. I realise that on Mumsnet hen parties are usually a spa weekend or a quiet meal out, but in the real world things are quite different and I’d say that most hen parties probably have a pretty raucous vibe.

I mean, ultimately it’s OK for women to talk about sex, and I’m guessing these were women who knew each other well and were comfortable with each other, so you were the outlier and they didn’t realise they were offending you. I generally loathe hen weekends myself; not my thing at all. But my closest friends and I, the ones I’ve known since my teens and 20s through our wildest years, have definitely had these conversations in private. Being from the More magazine’s ’Position Of The Fortnight’ / Sex & City generation probably set the tone for that when we were younger.

It is, however, disrespectful to talk about a current partner’s penis size IMO. There’s a big difference in talking about one’s own sexual preferences and invading the privacy of a partner.

I was trying to get an idea of what the situation was like. It’s a normal part of a discussion.

This. There are threads on here bemoaning that men overshare and then here we are with this.

Have some blooming dignity and keep it to yourself

Ugh, way too much information.

I am guessing they also didn't realize that women don't "squirt". That's actually urine coming out.

The OP didn’t ask how should I have responded to this? She asked if it was normal.
These kind of why didn’t you say something? responses (often, I think, from keyboard warriors) are really boring. Real life is not always like that and people keep quiet for all kinds of reasons — in this instance, maybe the OP realised she was in the minority and she didn’t want to cause a scene or create an atmosphere if everyone else was having fun…?

Edited to add: I’d have hated it, OP!

This sums it up for me...

Yeah imagine a group of husbands talking about their wifes vagina in detail. Women would hate that

Not normal in my world. However I think the topless waiters probably set the scene.

Grown women get drunk and chat shit - fetch the smelling salts!

Be grateful they weren't Butlers in the Buff...

<shudder>

It would only be double standards if @BobbyBiscuits had said that men shouldn't discuss those things in a strip club.

I don't know anything about men in strip clubs, but I can't imagine them even thinking about their partners while there. They probably compartmentalise the experience.

Its a Hen party AND a Bottomless Brunch, they are unlikely to be discussing the Works Of Shakespeare.
Its why I would never go to either of those 2 things, let alone a combination of the 2 BUT some people must enjoy them.