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Original poster

Hen party brunch - is it normal for women to over-share like this?

159 replies

HeidiHiBye · 13/04/2025 08:35

I’m genuinely intrigued as to whether I’m just a bit blinkered or if I’m in the minority with this sort of thing.

For my friends hen yesterday, I joined her and about 20 others for brunch and other activities. I didn’t know everyone there, with a mix of old school friends, Uni, work colleagues etc.

The drinks were flowing as expected and some of the women sat close to me turned the conversation onto more sexual matters. In no particular order, they covered - penis sizes of their other halves, favourite positions, oral preferences/techniques, their best former ‘shags’. One even complained their current partner is too passive and she’s considering leaving him as she just needs a ‘good f’ing’.

There was also topless waiters and two of the girls were speculating who’d have the biggest penis and be the best in bed.

I’m no prude but the line has to be drawn somewhere, and hearing how a certain position makes someone ‘squirt’ is beyond the pale for me.

Is this normal behaviour?!

OP posts:
Jumpingthruhoops · 14/04/2025 23:19

SolielMoonSky · 13/04/2025 08:47

Did you tell them they were making you uncomfortable?
Why did you sit there through all of this if it was that bad?

Because no one wants to be that person on a hen do!

But, yes OP, this is a thing on hen dos. One of the (many) reasons I try to avoid them like the plague!

knor · 14/04/2025 23:11

i still think most of it is pretty harmless. talking about partners penis sizes is a bit far but I still think this is pretty standard at a hen party. I personally wouldn’t comment on my husband but I also don’t mind people sharing if they want to. if i wasn’t a fan of a conversation, I would just remove myself from the group or try to change the subject. Was just trying to answer OP to say this is pretty normal for hens (I’ve been to quite a few) and some people don’t find that sort of convo too far. Perfectly fine is she does but best just to remove herself or try to the subject :)

Missj25 · 14/04/2025 23:03

knor · 14/04/2025 22:53

That’s what I said though … that everyone doesn’t know everyone so it’s weird

Show quote history

Yeah , but you said you wouldn’t find it the biggest deal , there’s harmless banter & there’s taking it too far, & who wants to be sitting down listening to it anyway with a bunch of strangers.. !

Beautifulweeds · 14/04/2025 23:01

No, not really, as with any group of mixed friends you chat about general stuff and then maybe a few drinks in may get a bit more smutty. Sounds a bit unclassy, some people will be like this, no etiquette. Xx

knor · 14/04/2025 22:53

Missj25 · 14/04/2025 22:51

It’s not about finding sex a taboo topic ,It’s about women who don’t really know one another In a big group discussing in depth their sexual relations with their partners..
I wouldn’t like my partner at a stag ( I’m single , but if I had one ) at a stag with 20 guys discussing the ins & ours of our sex life
Who would !

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That’s what I said though … that everyone doesn’t know everyone so it’s weird

Missj25 · 14/04/2025 22:51

knor · 14/04/2025 20:14

I don’t think it’s the hugest deal to be honest. Especially at a hen party.
the only weird thing is that not everyone knows each other that well so it is a little over sharing. I don’t find sex a taboo topic

It’s not about finding sex a taboo topic ,It’s about women who don’t really know one another In a big group discussing in depth their sexual relations with their partners..
I wouldn’t like my partner at a stag ( I’m single , but if I had one ) at a stag with 20 guys discussing the ins & ours of our sex life
Who would !

TrishM80 · 14/04/2025 22:19

There's no way a man would discuss the intricacies of his partner's genitalia to his friends, let alone a bunch of strangers, yet women seem to think it's OK the other way round? Weird, and double standard.

FlowerFairy12 · 14/04/2025 22:00

There’s no way I’d discuss private things like that, even with good friends. I can’t imagine anyone I know doing it either.

Brokeandold · 14/04/2025 21:49

I remember going to an Anne Summers party years ago, 1986 ? I was around 17, my sister just 19. She’d started at a new office job and wanted someone to take , she made me go!
We had to play some games, drawing your boyfriend’s willy on a piece of paper on the top of your head.
For a start I hadn't had a boyfriend, let alone seen a willy! We’d lived a very sheltered life! I remember looking at her, thinking wtf! We decided on the way home not to mention too much to our DM !
All seems so tame now.

MsNevermore · 14/04/2025 20:20

For me it depends on how close the friends are 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have two very close friends - one I’ve been friends with since I was 16 and there’s literally no secrets between us whatsoever. To the point where she asked me to look at her hooha post-birth because she was adamant it was mangled and she didn’t want her DH to see 🤷🏻‍♀️😂😂
The other I met in my mid-20’s when we worked together and she quickly became one of my best friends. She’ll send me a spicy picture of herself that she’s planning on sending her DH to ask my opinion before she sends it 😂
Me and both of those friends have discussed the dark depths of our sex lives, weird medical stuff - literally everything, but in the privacy of our homes, not in a public place or in a big group of friends we aren’t as close to.

knor · 14/04/2025 20:14

I don’t think it’s the hugest deal to be honest. Especially at a hen party.
the only weird thing is that not everyone knows each other that well so it is a little over sharing. I don’t find sex a taboo topic

Maninpeace · 14/04/2025 19:36

AnimalLover25 · 13/04/2025 08:45

Yuk yuk yuk

If men spoke like this with each other there’d be uproar and rightly so.

I don’t know why people think hen/stags are an excuse to throw all standards out of the window.

Sounds like some of them probably cheated later in the night too.

Why does it sound like some of them probably cheated?

ItGhoul · 14/04/2025 19:17

Missj25 · 14/04/2025 18:33

That’s different altogether as ye are all very close friends !
This is a hen do where I’m pretty sure most don’t each others surname !
They know the size of each other’s partners dick size though alright 😂

Show quote history

Oh, I know that's different - I was responding to the poster who said she was 21 and discussed this stuff with her best friends and who suggested that might be a young people's thing.

I agree it's a different matter when you hardly know someone! I think a hen do can be odd for that reason, as you have people who know each other really well mingling with people who don't know each other at all, but often in an atmosphere that's meant to encourage risque chat. Recipe for awkwardness.

Many years ago I went on a hen weekend that included an Ann Summers party. It was all very lighthearted but there were essentially three separate groups of women who all knew the bride but not each other. I remember that two groups just thought 'Oh, sod it' and threw themselves into it, and one group was just vaguely disgusted/terrified by the whole thing,

HunnyPot · 14/04/2025 18:46

Is this normal behaviour?!

No it’s not normal. Worse than some sleazy group chat some men seem to have.

Missj25 · 14/04/2025 18:33

ItGhoul · 13/04/2025 21:03

I’m 30 years older than you, and when I was 21 in the 1990s, my best mates and I were discussing EVERYTHING as well! I honestly don’t think it’s a generational thing. Even now at my age, while my friends don’t know how big my partner’s dick is, I’m pretty sure we all know how big our ex partner’s dicks were.

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That’s different altogether as ye are all very close friends !
This is a hen do where I’m pretty sure most don’t each others surname !
They know the size of each other’s partners dick size though alright 😂

cardboardvillage · 14/04/2025 18:32

Im pretty sure I have not chatted about that stuff since i was 18

Khayker · 14/04/2025 18:18

HeidiHiBye · 13/04/2025 08:35

I’m genuinely intrigued as to whether I’m just a bit blinkered or if I’m in the minority with this sort of thing.

For my friends hen yesterday, I joined her and about 20 others for brunch and other activities. I didn’t know everyone there, with a mix of old school friends, Uni, work colleagues etc.

The drinks were flowing as expected and some of the women sat close to me turned the conversation onto more sexual matters. In no particular order, they covered - penis sizes of their other halves, favourite positions, oral preferences/techniques, their best former ‘shags’. One even complained their current partner is too passive and she’s considering leaving him as she just needs a ‘good f’ing’.

There was also topless waiters and two of the girls were speculating who’d have the biggest penis and be the best in bed.

I’m no prude but the line has to be drawn somewhere, and hearing how a certain position makes someone ‘squirt’ is beyond the pale for me.

Is this normal behaviour?!

Sounds awful

Missj25 · 14/04/2025 18:05

HeidiHiBye · 13/04/2025 08:35

I’m genuinely intrigued as to whether I’m just a bit blinkered or if I’m in the minority with this sort of thing.

For my friends hen yesterday, I joined her and about 20 others for brunch and other activities. I didn’t know everyone there, with a mix of old school friends, Uni, work colleagues etc.

The drinks were flowing as expected and some of the women sat close to me turned the conversation onto more sexual matters. In no particular order, they covered - penis sizes of their other halves, favourite positions, oral preferences/techniques, their best former ‘shags’. One even complained their current partner is too passive and she’s considering leaving him as she just needs a ‘good f’ing’.

There was also topless waiters and two of the girls were speculating who’d have the biggest penis and be the best in bed.

I’m no prude but the line has to be drawn somewhere, and hearing how a certain position makes someone ‘squirt’ is beyond the pale for me.

Is this normal behaviour?!

No that’s not right at all ..
I was seeing a guy a short while ago , got on very well , he’s actually a gentleman ( and I’d love to meet someone nice ) , had a good few coffee dates , chatted for hours , nice walks etc , anyway long story short , sex wasn’t good at all as he is so small ..
I need both , I told my best Friend why I decided to leave it , I wouldn’t dream of sharing with another soul !
These women are sharing really private info about their husbands at hen parties

Sameoldsameoldsame · 14/04/2025 16:22

NoneedtoquotetheOP · 13/04/2025 08:55

@Sameoldsameoldsame everyone who posted has already read the op, there’s really no need to quote it to add your 5 word opinion.

Not normal in my circle. Sex in the city always baffled me because I’ve never know any women discuss their sex life or their partner in this way. It’s so disrespectful.

Thanks mam 🙏

BobbyBiscuits · 14/04/2025 12:44

Londonwaiting · 13/04/2025 09:43

Right. So female strippers are there to sexually gratify men, and female clients of male strippers sexually gratify men?

Show quote history

I was stating that adults can talk about their sex lives in certain circumstances. OP didn't need to join in.

Obviously not when having tea with the vicar/imam, your nan, your kids teacher, your CEO at work...

NPET · 14/04/2025 12:04

BatchCookBabe · 14/04/2025 11:28

Totally grim and vulgar. Also attention-seeking and needy and desperate. Probably the same kind of women who scream like a banshee when they're shagging. Got to let everyone know. 🙄

I have never EVER discussed my sex life with a single soul, OR the size of DH's penis! Why the F would you? Confused If anyone asked me anything about my sex life, they'd get a short shrift from me, and be told to mind their own business!

Well we're all different!
I don't consider it vulgar - it's hilarious when you're slightly tipsy (I mean dicksize not my sex life!).
Oh and no-one's ever told me I scream like a banshee!

BatchCookBabe · 14/04/2025 11:28

Totally grim and vulgar. Also attention-seeking and needy and desperate. Probably the same kind of women who scream like a banshee when they're shagging. Got to let everyone know. 🙄

I have never EVER discussed my sex life with a single soul, OR the size of DH's penis! Why the F would you? Confused If anyone asked me anything about my sex life, they'd get a short shrift from me, and be told to mind their own business!

Streaaa · 14/04/2025 09:59

pikkumyy77 · 13/04/2025 21:05

Ugh. Yes. I would never discuss any of this with friends, let alone randoms.

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Agreed.
Not just because it is vulgar and unnecessary, I genuinely have NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER in the body parts or sex lives of others.

Like none whatsoever.

NPET · 14/04/2025 00:12

Good. You sound my type of woman. The thing is, we don't (I don't anyway) run men down, unless the girl/woman herself is running her man down. We just need to know everything about each other.
And it's incredible fun. My bestie and I have known each other since we were 11 so have had 10 years of comparing sizes - & it's amazing the links and references we make when talking about different exes and currents.

pikkumyy77 · 13/04/2025 21:05

Janedoe82 · 13/04/2025 08:45

I don’t even talk about stuff like this with my best friends of 30 years

Ugh. Yes. I would never discuss any of this with friends, let alone randoms.