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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect coffee?!?!

463 replies

ReplacementBusService · 13/04/2025 07:36

I've never posted a thread before. Please be kind to me as this is extremely serious and I might cry. Well, moderately serious

A couple of us have come to stay with friends who have recently moved away. I woke up early, as is normal for me. We've been told to help ourselves to breakfast etc if we want.

They do not have any coffee in their house. None. Zero. Nothing 😱

These are old friends of mine and wonderful people, and they used to drink the odd coffee but more tea drinkers really - but I was expecting some sort of coffee available. They're probably gonna have a lot of "down from London" visitors to stay now they've moved.

I have spent half an hour googling where I can get coffee on a Sunday morning round here. The options are limited or not early morning enough. I am beside myself. Or I would be if I had enough caffeine in my system to get a head of steam on.

YABU: bring your own coffee next time. These guys are now living a simple coffee free life in the country, get away with your high and mighty big city ways and bring your own

YANBU: it's normal to expect a bit of coffee in a house in this day and age. You'll be doing your hosts a favour if you mention this, or they're going to face hordes of desperate visitors with a dreadful level of unmet need in this new, country living phase of their lives, and the local community will be ravaged by coffee starved londoners desperately roaming the streets early doors like a host of annoying affluent zombies in nice trainers

OP posts:
RitaIncognita · 13/04/2025 16:51

ReplacementBusService · 13/04/2025 07:44

This is dreadful 😔 a moment silence for decaff

I feel for you, OP.

I travel with coffee and a French press, and I am in the US where most people have coffee in their houses. But not always the best coffee. I don't drink instant (happily that's generally frowned upon in the US), and I don't drink decaf.

Alondra · 13/04/2025 16:44

ReplacementBusService · 13/04/2025 14:21

I did say I made up the bit about the 4x4, in the next sentence of the same post, but aside from that I do fully accept my behavior is up there with Trump.

I agree, you can't be compared with Trump - he'll never accept fault with his behaviour.

I hope you managed to get a double shot of caffeine somehow. You deserve it for having thoughtless, inconsiderate friends. How could they invite you without thinking of the most important part of breakfast?

Incredible behaviour. Charge them for the petrol to get your caffeine fix.

SummerDaysOnTheWay · 13/04/2025 16:39

Nightmare 😱☕️

Allthegoodhorses · 13/04/2025 16:25

Alondra · 13/04/2025 13:35

My pain for you stopped when you said you drove an enormous 4x4. You are rivalling Trump.

I'd have tea. Or even Perrier mineral water as a last instance.

Edited

Did you miss the next sentence where OP said that was a joke?

FrivolousKitchenRollUse · 13/04/2025 16:03

I've probably had 10 cups of coffee in my life but always have some in if I'm having guests/visitors. I don't overthink what they might want for breakfast and snacks etc but I think coffee is a pretty obvious one.

Putthekettleon73 · 13/04/2025 15:29

Gosh I NEED a tea as soon as I wake up, then I NEED a strong proper coffee. No other vices and I don't need any further coffee but that one I'd crucial..

I went to stay with friends in Germany and they had no coffee 😱..years ago. Pre kids. I remember the yearning and had to go and seek one out in town each morning..

andHelenknowsimmiserablenow · 13/04/2025 15:22

Your friends have been dreadfully inconsiderate OP. I don't know what they were thinking. 😁
I am glad you got some in the end.
I cannot survive without coffee, and hate tea.
I always have tea bags in the house for visitors though!

Allmarbleslost · 13/04/2025 15:04

This reminds me of the first time we stayed overnight with BIL and SIL. They don't drink hot drinks themselves, which we knew, but we assumed they would keep teabags and coffee in the cupboard for visitors. Nope. Sympathies op.

Bollindger · 13/04/2025 14:53

You only ever get caught once.
We always have drinks where ever we go.
If going to friends I have secret snacks, my granny never gave us enough food so mum had her extras bag.
On a day trip to a nature park the cost of a meal was £20 each person. So the bill would have been £100 20 years ago. We all looked at each other and Mum and I pulled out snacks and just got Dad a coffee and he raided the snacks.

DeskJotter · 13/04/2025 14:28

ReplacementBusService · 13/04/2025 14:21

I did say I made up the bit about the 4x4, in the next sentence of the same post, but aside from that I do fully accept my behavior is up there with Trump.

OP, I think I love you.

ReplacementBusService · 13/04/2025 14:21

Alondra · 13/04/2025 13:35

My pain for you stopped when you said you drove an enormous 4x4. You are rivalling Trump.

I'd have tea. Or even Perrier mineral water as a last instance.

Edited

I did say I made up the bit about the 4x4, in the next sentence of the same post, but aside from that I do fully accept my behavior is up there with Trump.

OP posts:
DeskJotter · 13/04/2025 14:17

ReplacementBusService · 13/04/2025 07:44

You'd think......but nope.

I had forgotten that it's a Sunday 😱

Whoarethoseguys · 13/04/2025 13:59

MidnightPatrol · 13/04/2025 07:38

Just have a cup of tea.

Or, if really desperate, fuel stations are often open all hours including Sundays.

I can't drink tea just the smell of I t makes me gag.
I'm with you OP. I couldn't cope without coffee.

Ineedcoffee2021 · 13/04/2025 13:57

ReplacementBusService · 13/04/2025 13:00

I did go out and get it, I just didn't really rev a four by four outside the local shop. I really can't go that long without coffee (well, if civilization collapses I will have to, but otherwise, no way!!!)

I acknowledged to my friend that I have a problem

so glad you got caffeinated

ThatGreatMember · 13/04/2025 13:35

waterrat · 13/04/2025 07:41

This is my worst nightmare

Find a petrol station ..do they have something to make coffee in or do you need to find an actual.cafe

I take coffee and an aeropress on holiday with me !

Gen Z by any chance? 😁

Alondra · 13/04/2025 13:35

My pain for you stopped when you said you drove an enormous 4x4. You are rivalling Trump.

I'd have tea. Or even Perrier mineral water as a last instance.

LimeJellyforBrains · 13/04/2025 13:27

ReplacementBusService · 13/04/2025 13:00

I did go out and get it, I just didn't really rev a four by four outside the local shop. I really can't go that long without coffee (well, if civilization collapses I will have to, but otherwise, no way!!!)

I acknowledged to my friend that I have a problem

Well if I hadn't had my first morning coffee I wouldn't be safe to drive either, far too lightheaded! So I would have had to walk as well, in a wobbly and meandering fashion Grin

Livpool · 13/04/2025 13:23

YANBU. - me and DH don’t drink coffee but PIL do so we always have some instant coffee in

NotsosunnyShropshire · 13/04/2025 13:18

I always take my own coffee, because even if they do supply coffee, it’s not necessarily going to be the same quality that I prefer to drink.

Hfjfjfjfjfj · 13/04/2025 13:13

Get some sticks of micro ground coffee and always have a few in your travel bag. I feel your pain (caffeine withdrawal headache)!

RampantIvy · 13/04/2025 13:12

I'll repeat this for the non coffee drinking hosts:

Individually wrapped coffee bags are the answer

ReplacementBusService · 13/04/2025 13:00

PuppyMonkey · 13/04/2025 12:49

So you did go out and get coffee? I can’t tell if that was all a joke now! Grin Have the hosts mentioned it yet OP, did they wonder where you went?

I did go out and get it, I just didn't really rev a four by four outside the local shop. I really can't go that long without coffee (well, if civilization collapses I will have to, but otherwise, no way!!!)

I acknowledged to my friend that I have a problem

OP posts:
StrawberrySquash · 13/04/2025 12:58

I rarely drink coffee at home, but do try and make sure I have it if I have a coffee drinking guest. And then a large packet goes off it is a pain! I've been known to send it home with people before.

I voted YABU because I kind of feel it's a bad idea to have it so that you need the caffeine in the morning to get going. I deliberately don't drink tea all the time to stop this because I don't want the dependency. If I'm staying somewhere I roll with the fact that there will be a different breakfast from what I'm used to. I'm more distressed by the people who don't have ice and lemon for the G&T 😜.

Having said that part of hosting is anticipating and trying to have what your guests will want which isn't always what you eat normally. But buying a load of ketchup/peanut butter etc etc that then they might not go for is always a bit of a balancing act

tourdefrance · 13/04/2025 12:50

YANBU! Even my friend who drinks neither tea or coffee has some ancient Nescafe at the back of the cupboard!

Birdseyetrifle · 13/04/2025 12:49

I don’t drink coffee. I got fed up of throwing jars away, that had all gone hard, just in case a person visited. I now tell people to bring their own. No way I’m paying £6-7 for someone to have a couple of drinks and it be thrown away months later.