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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect coffee?!?!

463 replies

ReplacementBusService · 13/04/2025 07:36

I've never posted a thread before. Please be kind to me as this is extremely serious and I might cry. Well, moderately serious

A couple of us have come to stay with friends who have recently moved away. I woke up early, as is normal for me. We've been told to help ourselves to breakfast etc if we want.

They do not have any coffee in their house. None. Zero. Nothing 😱

These are old friends of mine and wonderful people, and they used to drink the odd coffee but more tea drinkers really - but I was expecting some sort of coffee available. They're probably gonna have a lot of "down from London" visitors to stay now they've moved.

I have spent half an hour googling where I can get coffee on a Sunday morning round here. The options are limited or not early morning enough. I am beside myself. Or I would be if I had enough caffeine in my system to get a head of steam on.

YABU: bring your own coffee next time. These guys are now living a simple coffee free life in the country, get away with your high and mighty big city ways and bring your own

YANBU: it's normal to expect a bit of coffee in a house in this day and age. You'll be doing your hosts a favour if you mention this, or they're going to face hordes of desperate visitors with a dreadful level of unmet need in this new, country living phase of their lives, and the local community will be ravaged by coffee starved londoners desperately roaming the streets early doors like a host of annoying affluent zombies in nice trainers

OP posts:
eggnog7 · 15/04/2025 16:10

If people were travelling to stay with you, it is polite to ask for any requests they may have with drinks. I don't drink decaf, so never have it in, but when my friend visits who can't have caffeine I buy decaf coffee as the host. So YANBU.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 15/04/2025 16:05

While I voted that you are being unreasonable I do think that if the people you are staying aren't coffee/tea drinkers then they should state that so you can bring your own if you want to

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 15/04/2025 13:42

RampantIvy · 14/04/2025 19:45

That's a bit of a hysterical overreaction.

Show quote history

Why? I don't like the smell of it, it's vile stuff. Thankfully DH doesn't drink it so I don't have to put up with the smell!

RampantIvy · 15/04/2025 13:08

Tootsiewootsie · 15/04/2025 12:57

You wouldn't get coffee in my house. I don't drink it and don't keep it the house.

But if you had friends coming to stay would you give them the heads up so that they know to bring their own?

Tootsiewootsie · 15/04/2025 12:57

You wouldn't get coffee in my house. I don't drink it and don't keep it the house.

GameOfJones · 15/04/2025 12:31

RampantIvy · 15/04/2025 12:02

Goodness, there are some really holier than thou posts from posters who don't like grown up hot drinks.

......and are poor hosts! 🤣

RampantIvy · 15/04/2025 12:02

Goodness, there are some really holier than thou posts from posters who don't like grown up hot drinks.

sashh · 15/04/2025 11:51

PollyCreo · 14/04/2025 21:46

I need to know more about coffee bags, this is where I'm going wrong in my life 😰

You really really don't.

ZestyJoey · 15/04/2025 09:37

I think the real problem is that coffee has mild addictive properties. So anyone who's used to drinking it every morning will feel a bit of unease when they can't.

ZestyJoey · 15/04/2025 09:31

JoanIsNotAwful · 13/04/2025 07:38

I don't think you can expect it everywhere, so I'd take my own if it's that crucial! DH never drinks it so never had it in before we moved in together.

My thoughts exactly. I only like a particular brand (lavazza ground) or if it has to be instant then it has to be nescafe azero. Having said that I know it's my responsibility to take care of my own coffee needs and wouldn't expect anything else from my hosts.

TessTimoney · 15/04/2025 08:37

Espresso25 · 13/04/2025 07:40

I’d be disappointed at the lack of coffee but not sure you can hold your hosts responsible.

I reckon if you're that dependant on coffee you have an addiction problem. I have a cup first thing every morning but would be OK with tea if no coffee was available 😳

Lollipopsicle · 15/04/2025 07:50

myplace · 13/04/2025 07:50

Years ago when I was fully caffeinated, I was staying with my sister and began to feel really ill. I put it down to the sofa bed being wonky and my feet possibly being higher than my head.

Heading home feeling grim I stopped for a coffee at a services and instantly felt better. She’d been decaffing me the whole visit.

Your DSis is a monster. Time to go NC with her.

OneFineDay13 · 14/04/2025 22:56

On a serious note. I think it was quite thoughtless of them to not have any in for staying guests

Mulledjuice · 14/04/2025 22:34

They're probably gonna have a lot of "down from London" visitors to stay now they've moved.

Maybe they are trying to get a reputation as terrible hosts in the hope people leave them alone

mindutopia · 14/04/2025 21:58

I would always have coffee and tea for house guests. I don’t drink alcohol, but I also buy in beer or wine if someone who drinks comes to stay. It’s about good hosting.

That said, I once went to a 2 day training that the facilitator hosted in her home. She ran these courses maybe every 2 months or so. We got to the first mid morning break around 10:30am, noting here that many up us probably got up 5/6am to drive there for the 9am start. She had no coffee or tea. Only herbal tea. 😳😳😳

8 hour long day of training and not a drop of coffee or even tea (which is not the same as a coffee, but still). She didn’t drink coffee, or normal tea, so she just didn’t think about it. I was dying.

Finally she did manage to get out the step ladder and climb up to see what was in the way back of the top cupboard and managed to find some like 5 year old espresso and a moka pot style coffee maker and someone who knew how to use it made us all coffee. Someone went out and bought us some Nescafé to keep us going for day 2. But seriously, no coffee! Or tea! Who lives like that?! Or wouldn’t assume that other people, a whole crowd of 10 of them, might want coffee or tea over the course of the day?! She’d been running these courses for years too. Had everyone else all those years just politely accepted a cup of tumeric tea and smiled and not been like, oi, got anything stronger?! 😂

Gustavo77 · 14/04/2025 21:57

Noone in our house drinks coffee which isn't unusual. I'm guessing or should I say hoping that you're joking about the seriousness of it. If you're not, then you have a serious problem so please get help.

JayJayj · 14/04/2025 21:57

I never have coffee at my house. I don’t drink it and it would just be wasteful to buy some for just incase.

PollyCreo · 14/04/2025 21:51

Mecheng2 · 14/04/2025 21:47

Bring some perspective to your life , it’s only coffee , vastly more I photo enjoy time and fun with friends . Make memories and don’t stress about the small stuff

ARE YOU MENTAL?

Mecheng2 · 14/04/2025 21:47

Bring some perspective to your life , it’s only coffee , vastly more I photo enjoy time and fun with friends . Make memories and don’t stress about the small stuff

PollyCreo · 14/04/2025 21:46

I need to know more about coffee bags, this is where I'm going wrong in my life 😰

pollymere · 14/04/2025 21:27

I always have hotel sachets of tea and coffee in my travel bag. It's usually in case the hotel options are dire but I could see this happening at my IL. We used to bring whole bags of snacks for that...

Condensedmilkdrinker · 14/04/2025 21:20

OP I wish you were my mate, you're flipping hilarious!

TattyBluebell · 14/04/2025 20:59

I don't think you are being reasonable or unreasonable! Some people (who are insane) just don't have coffee or tea in their house! Bizarre and strange, I know! I have no idea how people can live like this! 😉😉😉 I feel your pain completely! I'm the same with tea. Whenever I go away I always take teabags with me... just in case! Tea is the one thing I can't go without in life... well, apart from water, food and oxygen. 😊