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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect coffee?!?!

463 replies

ReplacementBusService · 13/04/2025 07:36

I've never posted a thread before. Please be kind to me as this is extremely serious and I might cry. Well, moderately serious

A couple of us have come to stay with friends who have recently moved away. I woke up early, as is normal for me. We've been told to help ourselves to breakfast etc if we want.

They do not have any coffee in their house. None. Zero. Nothing 😱

These are old friends of mine and wonderful people, and they used to drink the odd coffee but more tea drinkers really - but I was expecting some sort of coffee available. They're probably gonna have a lot of "down from London" visitors to stay now they've moved.

I have spent half an hour googling where I can get coffee on a Sunday morning round here. The options are limited or not early morning enough. I am beside myself. Or I would be if I had enough caffeine in my system to get a head of steam on.

YABU: bring your own coffee next time. These guys are now living a simple coffee free life in the country, get away with your high and mighty big city ways and bring your own

YANBU: it's normal to expect a bit of coffee in a house in this day and age. You'll be doing your hosts a favour if you mention this, or they're going to face hordes of desperate visitors with a dreadful level of unmet need in this new, country living phase of their lives, and the local community will be ravaged by coffee starved londoners desperately roaming the streets early doors like a host of annoying affluent zombies in nice trainers

OP posts:
TheJollyMoose · 13/04/2025 07:58

ScarlettSunset · 13/04/2025 07:57

Caffeine addiction may not be a god thing but it is very real.Going without it for a day can end up making you feel like you have flu and struggling to function.
Obviously that's not a good thing, but it's not just as simple as just go without for a day...

Then they should have thought about their addiction before staying elsewhere. That is their problem, nobody else’s.

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 13/04/2025 07:57

How can you be friends with people who don't drink coffee??!!!!!

Zonder · 13/04/2025 07:57

RampantIvy · 13/04/2025 07:46

Not round here.
However, we have a petrol station that has a coffee machine half a mile away.

Taylor's coffee bags are the answer. We never travel without them.

Exactly. But we all assume that things are like our experience.

ScarlettSunset · 13/04/2025 07:57

TheJollyMoose · 13/04/2025 07:54

YABU. You should be able to cope without some coffee for one day and I’d be concerned if you actually can’t function without it.

We don’t drink any hot drinks, so we never have tea or coffee in the house.

Caffeine addiction may not be a god thing but it is very real.Going without it for a day can end up making you feel like you have flu and struggling to function.
Obviously that's not a good thing, but it's not just as simple as just go without for a day...

CoffeeThenWine · 13/04/2025 07:56

What??? What do they do if having work done??? Every single tradesperson who crosses my threshold requests coffee.

It's a basic human right, surely????

OP, I do hope I you're currently waiting outside the coffee selling venue. 4 minutes. You can do this.

Chellybelle · 13/04/2025 07:56

I would always have tea and coffee in for guests. Most people like a hot drink in the morning. They are just the basics.

ladeedarrrry · 13/04/2025 07:56

On the plus side op that first coffee is gonna be SO GOOD

Some seriously bad mannered hosts on here. No tea or coffee… just herbal tea…. What’s the point in living

Waitingfordoggo · 13/04/2025 07:56

We don’t drink coffee but I do have a jar in the cupboard to offer visitors. MIL drinks it but all my other visitors (not that I have many) drink tea. If it wasn’t for MIL, I’m not sure I’d buy coffee, because it’s quite expensive and it’d probably go out of date before it got used so would end up being thrown out.

Bjorkdidit · 13/04/2025 07:55

TaggieO · 13/04/2025 07:42

I cannot drink instant coffee so I always bring a few Taylor’s coffee bags with me for emergencies!

Sounds like the best solution. You can't expect people who don't drink coffee to keep it in because even if they did, it would be the wrong kind or constantly be going out of date.

After all, they might be the kind of person who couldn't possibly drink instant coffee or insisted on freshly ground beans for every cup.

RobinHeartella · 13/04/2025 07:54

Yanbu, even if they don't have coffee in for guests, they might need it for tradesmen, gardener, cleaner.

Buy a box of instant and leave the rest in their cupboard when you leave.

I'm not even joking, if we had a plumber or electrician in and they wanted coffee and I didn't have any, I'd cringe

Ineedcoffee2021 · 13/04/2025 07:54

how TF do these people function with no coffee? are they even human?

Everyone in my circle knows i need my coffee, they also know i dont expect them to buy it and have on hand for me
All i ask - just give me a heads up if i need to bring my own, which im more than happy to do

Hope you get one soon, id be sitting in a ball by coffee saviours door until they open

TheCurious0range · 13/04/2025 07:54

When I was younger and living in my first flat I didn't really drink tea or coffee and never at home, but always had both in for guests and decaf once I started dating DH and saw that's all MIL drinks. It's polite.
Having said that I wouldn't be bothered if I visited someone who had neither as whilst I know drink both tea and coffee, it's still only occasional.

TheJollyMoose · 13/04/2025 07:54

YABU. You should be able to cope without some coffee for one day and I’d be concerned if you actually can’t function without it.

We don’t drink any hot drinks, so we never have tea or coffee in the house.

Summertimeblahness · 13/04/2025 07:54

We don’t have tea bags or milk in the house but would buy them if we had guests

RayKray · 13/04/2025 07:53

I don’t drink coffee so I don’t have any. I wouldn’t get any for guests (but our house isn’t big enough to host any anyway so it’s the opinion of a cow) because IME people are weird about coffee as it has to be some thing I don’t understand that involves equipment, not instant. As instant is wrong somehow. I don’t know, I don’t understand. But it’s enough to make me just avoid coffee. (And guests)

WhySoManySocks · 13/04/2025 07:53

Omg. I would DIE.

CrispieCake · 13/04/2025 07:53

I would get coffee in if I'm hosting coffee drinkers.

Nowadays, your self-respecting London wanker host stocks not only tea and coffee (caf) with milk (including skimmed) and sugar, but also both options in decaf, a selection of herbal teas, sweetener and non-dairy milk including oat and nut options.

That said, if someone asks for skimmed milk in my house, I just dilute semi-skimmed with water 😂.

RampantIvy · 13/04/2025 07:52

Blondebrownorred · 13/04/2025 07:50

I don't have coffee in my house. Disgusting stuff. Doesn't even feature on my radar so wouldn't think to get some in for guests.

Do you never have overnight guests or even anyone round for a cuppa?

springintoaction321 · 13/04/2025 07:52

Stay strong my friend - nearly 8am now....

JamesWebbSpaceTelescope · 13/04/2025 07:51

They have my moved. So haven’t had time to pick up bits and pieces that they might otherwise have in.

I only have fruit teas for guests, but it took a while to get them in (probably after a guest asked for some and I didn’t have any). Drink some tea or go to a garage and buy some instant.

SoScarletItWas · 13/04/2025 07:51

Now musing over the etiquette of buying a jar of coffee and whether to leave it behind with the hosts…

ladeedarrrry · 13/04/2025 07:51

Blondebrownorred · 13/04/2025 07:50

I don't have coffee in my house. Disgusting stuff. Doesn't even feature on my radar so wouldn't think to get some in for guests.

Christ are you a monster

ladeedarrrry · 13/04/2025 07:51

This is urgent op. I say that with the utmost sincerity.

Bubblebubblepoppop · 13/04/2025 07:50

I'd be beside myself too. A morning tea just doesn't hit the spot like a morning coffee! I get a weird sluggishy feeling and headache if I don't have a coffee in the morning (which I know sounds terrible and I should really address that dependency).