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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect coffee?!?!

463 replies

ReplacementBusService · 13/04/2025 07:36

I've never posted a thread before. Please be kind to me as this is extremely serious and I might cry. Well, moderately serious

A couple of us have come to stay with friends who have recently moved away. I woke up early, as is normal for me. We've been told to help ourselves to breakfast etc if we want.

They do not have any coffee in their house. None. Zero. Nothing 😱

These are old friends of mine and wonderful people, and they used to drink the odd coffee but more tea drinkers really - but I was expecting some sort of coffee available. They're probably gonna have a lot of "down from London" visitors to stay now they've moved.

I have spent half an hour googling where I can get coffee on a Sunday morning round here. The options are limited or not early morning enough. I am beside myself. Or I would be if I had enough caffeine in my system to get a head of steam on.

YABU: bring your own coffee next time. These guys are now living a simple coffee free life in the country, get away with your high and mighty big city ways and bring your own

YANBU: it's normal to expect a bit of coffee in a house in this day and age. You'll be doing your hosts a favour if you mention this, or they're going to face hordes of desperate visitors with a dreadful level of unmet need in this new, country living phase of their lives, and the local community will be ravaged by coffee starved londoners desperately roaming the streets early doors like a host of annoying affluent zombies in nice trainers

OP posts:
MinkyWales · 13/04/2025 08:35

I’m equally coffee dependant, and never go anywhere without a supply of my preferred blend.

Fail to prepare, prepare to fail, etc.

CraftyHappyMama · 13/04/2025 08:35

I never have caffeine but always have decaf coffee in the house so you'd have to make do with that 😄

nam3c4ang3 · 13/04/2025 08:35

I don’t know how anyone can drink coffee 😂 tastes so weird 😂😂

Joni234 · 13/04/2025 08:34

YANBU!

I have a travel mug with a built-in french press- perfect for this situation as long as you bring your own coffee as well, obviously.

Youaremythtaken · 13/04/2025 08:33

When you say they are probably going to have hordes of guests down from London, do you mean because they are well thought of and everyone will want to stay in touch or because they are now living in a touristy area?

Just wondering if they are making sure their guests are slightly uncomfortable so they DON'T get hordes of visitors and end up essentially running a free air b n b.

TheJollyMoose · 13/04/2025 08:33

Surespray · 13/04/2025 08:08

I’d cry

No you wouldn’t. Because I wouldn’t be friends with someone like that so you wouldn’t be at my house in the first place 😆

AroundTheMulberryBush · 13/04/2025 08:33

It's the same when I visit a friend,, she hates coffee so it isn't something she ever has in. She has the hugest array of teas, but no coffee! Which is fair enough, she doesn't drink it so doesn't have it. There must be a coffee drive thru or a mcdonalds or something nearby?

CathyBoardman · 13/04/2025 08:33

They are not real friends. Run.

RampantIvy · 13/04/2025 08:33

erinaceus · 13/04/2025 08:19

I am presuming you have scoured Deliveroo, Uber Eats and similar for a coffee delivered to you?

We don't all live in towns.

I'm gobsmacked at some of the responses on here - "facilitating an addiction" !!!

If you host any kind of guest it is reasonable to assume that they might want a hot drink, unless you know they don't drink tea or coffee, and a soft drink just doesn't hit the spot the way a hot drink does. It doesn't even have to contain caffeine.

I guess some posters never have visitors or they just don't know how to host.

Individually wrapped coffee bags are a better option than jars of instant coffee. My favourite brand is Taylors.

Rainallnight · 13/04/2025 08:33

RayKray · 13/04/2025 07:53

I don’t drink coffee so I don’t have any. I wouldn’t get any for guests (but our house isn’t big enough to host any anyway so it’s the opinion of a cow) because IME people are weird about coffee as it has to be some thing I don’t understand that involves equipment, not instant. As instant is wrong somehow. I don’t know, I don’t understand. But it’s enough to make me just avoid coffee. (And guests)

What does ‘the opinion of a cow’ mean? I’ve not come across this one before.

consistentlyinconsistent · 13/04/2025 08:32

I always take a French press or stove top coffee maker with me if staying somewhere I’ve not stayed before. Plus ground beans. I can’t drink instant coffee (it’s not actually coffee) so wouldn’t leave things to chance.

GreatGardenstuff · 13/04/2025 08:31

I’d feel exactly like you do. I’d be in bits. Reasonableness is irrelevant when it comes to morning coffee.

Gettingbysomehow · 13/04/2025 08:31

That happened to me once. I came down hungover and they only had decaf!!! I nearly died. Now I always take a small container of coffee with me whenever I stay anywhere including hotels because they never provide enough sachets in the rooms.

WonderingWanda · 13/04/2025 08:30

I sympathise as I feel the same way about tea. Although I can survive with a coffee instead but my day never feels right till I've had a tea.

erinaceus · 13/04/2025 08:28

Bjorkdidit · 13/04/2025 08:22

But where would they bring it from if there's nowhere nearby that sells coffee?

Plus it would cost a fortune and be cold by the time it got there is there was somewhere that delivered.

Yes I did think of these important points. However it seems like a desperate situation so it is necessary to explore all options.

I agree Deliveroo a not a cost-effective means of buying coffee and the temperature can be an issue, depends the outlet dispatching the coffee and the rider as well. I find spillage was greater problem but over the years many outlets have improved their approach to packaging the coffee for delivery. Plus you can add a pain au chocolat to your order to make the delivery fee slightly more worthwhile.

butterpuffed · 13/04/2025 08:27

I'm a coffee drinker, can't stand tea but always have some teabags for visitors . It's just common sense . As would keeping some coffee in if you're a tea drinker.

I hope OP has found somewhere , supermarkets aren't open till 10am on Sundays , not sure about other places .

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 13/04/2025 08:27

Waitingfordoggo · 13/04/2025 07:56

We don’t drink coffee but I do have a jar in the cupboard to offer visitors. MIL drinks it but all my other visitors (not that I have many) drink tea. If it wasn’t for MIL, I’m not sure I’d buy coffee, because it’s quite expensive and it’d probably go out of date before it got used so would end up being thrown out.

You do know most of your visitors drink tea because the jar you've got in the cupboard has been there so long...

I drink tea at my parents house because they drink instant coffee and it's never a decent one.

WhySoManySocks · 13/04/2025 08:26

Did you get it OP? I am rooting for you!!

LyndaSnellsSniff · 13/04/2025 08:25

This reminds me of one of my sisters who in the days before she had children, would invite us to stay but would have no food or milk in the house. She was near a small supermarket and you'd offer to go and get some milk and bread and she'd hand you a shopping list.

I always have sachets of coffee and Options hot chocolate in my work bag. You just never know.

Chester23 · 13/04/2025 08:25

I dont drink any hot drinks. I live alone so no tea or coffee. Or actually milk either. But i do tell people this if anyone is coming over, which isn't often hence why I don't buy any.
I think the sachets is a good option for next time

JurgenKloppsTeeth · 13/04/2025 08:25

I was 😱 when recently staying in a budget hotel in London and there was no kettle/teabags for a morning cup of tea. You had to go downstairs which is considerably better than your situation OP but it still meant getting dressed etc when I wasn’t quite ready for that (having not had my first tea of the day, obvs).

So, sympathies. May the coffee gods smile upon you at 10am. I don’t drink it myself so never have it in but I always ask guests if there’s anything they need before they come to stay.

AlertCat · 13/04/2025 08:22

I take my stovetop coffee pot with me and a bag of coffee when I go to any airBnB. If I went to a “friend’s” and there was no coffee I dunno, I’d be reassessing our whole relationship. Is there any way back from this??

Bjorkdidit · 13/04/2025 08:22

erinaceus · 13/04/2025 08:19

I am presuming you have scoured Deliveroo, Uber Eats and similar for a coffee delivered to you?

But where would they bring it from if there's nowhere nearby that sells coffee?

Plus it would cost a fortune and be cold by the time it got there is there was somewhere that delivered.

Sw1989 · 13/04/2025 08:22

You have my sympathy OP. I've had this a few times and always take a little Tupperware of emergency coffee and a coffee filter. Fully admit I'm totally addicted and can't remember the last time I ever went a day without coffee, tea in the morning simply doesn't cut it! I genuinely found it easier to quit smoking than abstain from coffee/ not have a coffee in the morning. My wife was a total non coffee drinker when we met but even she has now decided she likes it! I

PumpkinScarf · 13/04/2025 08:22

Ooft that’s rough. Hope you get some soon! I would really struggle too.