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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not reply/congratulate friend?

107 replies

AllThaJazzz · 12/04/2025 21:01

University friend of 15 years.

I tried to keep in touch but basically, the friendship fizzled, as happens! No hard feelings.

She is very annoyed/upset that I haven't said congratulations that she has recently had a baby.

Now, she didn't reply when my mother died, when I moved or when I got married.

AIBU to not go out my way to say congrats when she hasn't given me the time of day for years?!

OP posts:
Therewasacat · 12/04/2025 21:14

I think it depends, if she messaged you directly to say she'd had a baby and you didn't reply, I'd say yabu. Takes 2 seconds to reply congratulations.

If she just posted a picture of the baby on Facebook and is annoyed you didn't comment then yanbu.

JHound · 12/04/2025 21:13

nomas · 12/04/2025 21:07

YANBU. I would reply ‘Where were you when I needed you when my mother died and when I got married?’

^^ This.

HereintheloveofChristIstand · 12/04/2025 21:13

I feel your hurt OP
The very same happened when my beloved gran died. I didn’t want heck loada of attention. Just a text would sufficed.
So no, I was not going to gush just because she had reproduced.

sorry that sounds awful. It was just painful.
So sorry about your mum. I understand you.

wishiwasupahill · 12/04/2025 21:13

wtf? She didn’t reply when your mum died? And has the audacity to call you out for not congratulating her on the birth of her child??

how on earth did she phrase that?!

just tell her to fuck off.

or totally ignore.

or just resend the message you sent when your mum died, with no further comment.

Original poster
AllThaJazzz · 12/04/2025 21:12

Exactly! Clearly we're just not friends anymore. Why should the world revolve around her?!

OP posts:
HelplessSoul · 12/04/2025 21:10

This person isnt a friend.

A horrible cunt, most definitely.

Anyone that cannot contact/share condolences on a major family loss like a parent is a colossal fucking cunt and should deservedly be called out and told they are.

Fuck her. You owe her nothing.

nomas · 12/04/2025 21:07

YANBU. I would reply ‘Where were you when I needed you when my mother died and when I got married?’