To not reply/congratulate friend?

Erm I’d want to text and say ‘the RSVP to our wedding (whenever it was!) must have got lost in the post’!

but I’d probably just ignore her.

I don’t get it. How does that mean OP or anyone in that situation hadn’t forgot their friend /former friend was still in her contacts?

If someone ignores me, I may notice and then subsequently lose touch with them but I don’t necessarily immediately think of deleting their contact details.

But the OP didn't, because she had noticed no congratulations towards her.

Send her a rocket, OP. She deserves it. You've nothing to lose - this person is no friend.

Oh, that's AWFUL. Makes me ragey, because THEY wouldn't like being treated like that after they'd lost a parent. And like they're immune! My former bestie did the same thing, and we'd been friends since primary school. I hope that making herself comfortable and putting herself first was worth losing decades of friendship.

All people who have done this to someone close who is bereaved, I hope they experience the same thing when it's their turn.

There you go. Actually not a friend at all. You’re done here.

That’s awful. I would respond with “I don’t congratulate former friends who can’t even be bothered to send condolences on my mums death or respond to a wedding invite let alone send congratulations. Our friendship is very obviously done so why should I congratulate you?”

I'd reply with what this poster put.

One of my close friends didn't reach out to me when my mother died. Her excuse was she can't deal with that sort of stuff. I'm thinking I'm dealing with a lot worse?she couldn't even put a sad or caring emoji on my Facebook post. She admitted to seeing the post but decided not to reach out to me. I changed my mind on her then and I haven't met up with her since. Think I've bumped into her a couple times but that's it.

Well every day is a school day! I have never heard of yellow rocking someone before!

Gotta do this, then tell us what she says

Definitely not what a cheeky cow. She sounds like my so called friends go through shit they disappear then still expect you to be there when it suits them. I have a new way of looking at so called friends now if they don’t text me and it’s all one sided I just eventually give up I cannot be arsed being the the who makes all the effort for zero back. Who needs friends like this.

I was prepared to say YABU because if she's a friend of course you should congratulate her. But the mistake is referring to her as a friend. She isn't she moved on and she can't be expecting you to clap her successes when she ignored both your success and your pain NBU

If you reply at all, ^ this is what you send

Stuff her, she is no friend. Not being bothered about sending condolences on the death of your mother is quite nasty . Ignore all her communications, you do not need someone like her, anywhere near your life. You must always put yourself first in these situations....

This was my thought as well.

oh she can fuck off. Block her and don’t give her a second thought.

If that doesn’t feel right a very careful reply saying ‘oh, you didn’t reach out when my mum died, or even reply to my wedding invitation, so I thought you’d stopped considering me a friend.’

How do you know she’s annoyed?

Where’s OP gone?

The irony of making a thread about being ignored and then ignoring the responses 😂

Ah thanks! That’s useful to know @Wishyouwerehere50

@AlertCat yes. Yellow rock is the fluffier version! 😊 Where you add the very tiniest bit of niceness such as, ' that sounds great for you....bla bla.'. Bit you still close off any room for further chat. No questions, closed and short.

The grey rock version is the colder harsh version.

@Wishyouwerehere50 Thank you! I thought that was grey rock, are they two names for the same thing?

@AllThaJazzz she sounds outrageous. I like pp suggestion of a message like “after you blanked my messages about losing my DM, and ignored the invitation I sent you to my wedding, I assumed you no longer had any interest in our friendship. Now I see that your interest is one-way traffic, so congratulations on your baby, but don’t exert yourself to get in touch again as I don’t want that sort of friendship.”

Let the ship sink, OP.
She's really not worth your time.

It's a style of communication that is at the core the most basic level of communication that helps you exit a relationship without any negative fall out. They advise it when dealing with difficult people, particularly narcissistic people. ( I'm not saying the friend is that).

There are good examples online.

@Wishyouwerehere50 what’s yellow rock?

OP, come on! You are better than this.

I always give grace because people have their own lives. To contact you to ask why you haven't congratulated on her new spawn is just not ok with this history especially.

She sounds like she feels superior and expects that deference from others, e.g you.

Not mentally healthy for you so I really would look at this relationship as being very much not in your best interests. You can step away kindly. You don't need to say anything. Yellow rock is the way.