FIL showing himself up - saddened by DH’s reaction

My DF is 90 and loves watching women's matches on TV because they don't play act the way the men do. Your FIL is a dinosaur.

DD2 and I are heading to a women's match tomorrow after watching the same club's men's team today. We really enjoy both - there are more people at the men's match so the atmosphere is banging, but the women's match is cheaper and friendlier with no less skill.

Gosh, some of you are very argumentative and can't wait to have a bloody good row. Feminists should know better than to try and emulate boorish men anyway.

‘Keep it light and airy’?

Jeez… low standards.

It’s a fucking disgusting mindset, and it’s horribly common among hard-of-thinking scummy men. Who couldn’t play football decently if their fat lives depended on it.
And unfortunately there’s plenty of them knocking around, especially in your family would seem. Sorry OP.

So FIL refers to the players as "fat lezzas" & all your husband can say is "it's come on quite a bit"?

And to "I'd not touch them with a bargepole" "you have a point"?

Wtaf is wrong with your husband?

What era is the FIL from? I’m always fascinated when people say that.

oh I'd start WW3 if needed. The word with husband would have been later and in private but at the time I'd be telling my kids that "your grandfather says rude and stupid things" If it hadn't been in front of the kids I might have dealt with it differently.

There's a time to have a feminist view and on holiday where the drinks are flowing is not the right time IMO

what the hell have I just read. And on a female forum. Fucking appalling

There's a time to have a feminist view and on holiday where the drinks are flowing is not the right time IMO

There is never a time NOT to have a feminist view IMO

I think a father shouldn't be normalising this crap in front of his children.

Oh give it a rest, you're on holiday. Save up your anger for when you get home and then let both of them have it with both barrels between the eyes.

It might annoy all of us women, but the reality is a lot of men have zero interest in ladies football. That doesn't mean they should insult or denigrate the players though.

There's a time to have a feminist view and on holiday where the drinks are flowing is not the right time IMO. Will only lead to a difficult atmosphere. Neither of them were personally insulting to you or your footballing daughter. I don't excuse it but it's lad talk, and unless you want to cause WW3, keep it light and airy for now.

I think your dh can conduct his own relationship with his dad, don't you?
Would his dad have taken it on board? Unlikely.
Is it worth bad feeling on holiday? No.

What an idiot. My dad is 83, and has declared that he actually prefers watching women's football over men's, due to the absence of pitch histrionics when a player receives so much as a tap (cue rolling around on the ground in "agony"). He says there's none of that nonsense with the women's game, and it's all the all the better for it. My dad watches women's cricket too. He just enjoys watching sport, whoever's playing.

I’d be spending less and less time around FIL, and also limiting the amount of time my children spent around him.

Your DH knows his dad, so he was foolish to even bring up the option of watching the women’s game, let alone end the convo with ‘suppose you’re right’ .

as a PP said - pick the time for the battles and reduce contact. Holidaying with someone with views like this (and I’m sure he has more) is something I’d put a stop to.

I can see why you wish he had said something.
I also know by experience that you as the (adult) child saying something is likely to have zero effect - all down to the family dynamics so I can also see his point.
(As an example, I’ve told many many times my mum that she keeps interrupting me. It was brushed off until ds told her in no uncertain terms he wouldn’t participate to the conversation because she doesn’t listen. My mum listened to him and is much more careful….)

I would totally draw the line at FIL saying that in front of your dd though. And I think you need a chat with your dh about it.

Given that you were there and heard the conversation, and it was important to you, any reason why you didn't pull your father in law up on it?

I'd imagine that your husband didn't see any point in creating an atmosphere with an argument that he knew wouldn't change his father's opinions, when you're all going to be stuck together for the next week.

I also prefer to watch men’s football to women’s and am female. However he could have just said no thanks. I’m not sure what fat and lesbian have to do with women’s football?!

I think theres a time and a place to challenge this thinking and on holiday,after a couple of drinks, isn’t it

Yep

I would have told him he was absolutely disgusting myself and not expected DH to do it. I would have expected DH to back me up though

My Ddad is almost 80 and wouldn’t come out with misogynist homophobic shite.

Jesus that's hardly a different era, I was thinking you were talking about a much older man although I think its disgusting and not an excuse either way.

But people in their 60s are quite often still working and socialising so he does know better hes just choosing not to be better.

Elderly MIL regularly talks about the “nice coloured carers”, I challenge gently every time. I’d be challenging your FIL much more robustly. What he’s saying is grossly offensive.

I would absolutely expect him to challenge not only homophobia but also the suggestion that women are only of interest or worth anything if they are “fuckable” to a man.

What utterly disgusting behaviour. Quite had this been me I would have pulled him up on it if l DH didn’t.

Not so long ago, the concept of a group of males watching women’s football (or rugby) on tv didn’t exist. Very few men could name a female footballer. It’s therefore good that it’s on the table as a viable option for passing an afternoon these days. But there is still a long way to go and it’s disappointing that your husband wasn’t a bit more forthright tbh, although I get that no one wants a bad atmosphere on holiday.

Of a different era so he's had all that time to learn not be a misogynistic dickhead. If he's not challenged he'll never learn