FIL showing himself up - saddened by DH’s reaction

I was given tickets to a performance of Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo 25 years ago as a gift by a gay friend. I returned the ticket to him saying 'I don't fancy watching gay men pretending to be women insulting the great Tchaikovsky ballet and I don't find them attractive'. We are still friends and he has no problem with me expressing my opinion to him.

Agree, I don't doubt that there are much younger men who hold homophobic and sexist views about women in sport and women in general.

It's not a generational thing. Sadly, it's a your FIL being a complete dick thing. My Dad is 80, a lifelong football fan. In so many (many!) ways he's exceedingly old fashioned and a complete traditionalist. Yet, he loves the women's game and freely admits you see far more actual quality football - as opposed to rolling around on the floor feigning injury - when there are no testicles on the pitch.

So he wouldn't watch a women's football because he doesn't fancy having sex with any of the players but he likes to watch male footballers....

Holiday, drinking or no, I think your DH should have carried on with his challenge. He started OK then agreed with his father!

Well I am 70, and I would never put up with that 😡

Yes, will no one think of the misogynists?

This is why many men get away with being such arseholes, because women don't want to cause a scene or upset the poor man's ego.

I would pull anyone up for saying that every single time- why let them get away with such homophobic and misogynistic shit?

Your daughter and her peers deserve to be stuck up for.

the agesim, as always, on this site is spectacularly shitty.

So FIL is early 60s? that's my era. And most of the guys i know wouldn't talk like this - well not around me anyway. people that age grew up with punk, new romantics and the protests around Section 28. IME they are either misogynist twerps like the OPs FIL, or they don't have any truck with that shit.

Well I really hope you don't go around Feministing all over the place
Keep if for when its appropriate won't you just in case you offend some misogynistic knobhead

Women's football is dire to watch. I like football but just dont think women's football is anywhere near the quality and entertainment of men's football. So on that basis I'd probably decline to watch it. But i think his derogatory comment on referring them to being 'lezzas' is out of order, inferring that if they're lesbians it somehow means they also can't be decent footballers.

yes. I would.
Because i am a gobby feminist (24/7 with the feminism) and i don't put up with shit like that. Ever.

💯- to not have any interest in women’s football is absolutely fine, that’s not a problem.

To use misogynistic and homophobic language about the women is absolutely the problem.

I mean lezzas ffs - don’t think I’ve heard that term since in left school in the 80’s.

And I’m sure the sort if men who use terms like ‘fat lezzas’ are prime physical specimens themselves

It’s not a choice between going along with it or starting WW3. You can handle these situations more diplomatically.

FIL “… a bunch of fat lezzas…”
DH “I didn’t know that, you must have been taking more interest than me, where did you read it?”

FIL “wouldn’t touch them with a barge pole”
DH “at your age I’d certainly hope not, hahaha!”

seriously?!

Just from this snippet your FIL sounds like the sort of person who is always right. And from experience I can say that such a person is never likely to change their mind, back down or apologise for the narrow minded views. So challenging them is likely to make them dig in harder and go on and on about of hours on end and make it a much bigger deal than it needs to be.

It sounds like your DH did push back a little and then thought, you know what, let's just stop talking about it. Personally I think he did the right thing.

FIl could just have said "not my cuppa" he didn't need to be so offensive.

Dont agree with the " fat lezza" comment, thats nasty, but most men wont watch women playing football.

Its of a far lesser quality and the commentary is just awful.

This. Why are you letting it go? And why are people agreeing you should let it go? I'm mid 60s, any man around me spoke like that he'd have to fuck off to the far side of fuck.

it is fine not to want to watch any sport for any reason.

When you articulate that reason as not wanting to watch "fat lezzers" because you don't fancy them - you get the both gloves off straight talking answer from me.

Interesting that some posters are unhappy with the FILs comment (rightly so) but have no problem with the ageism on this thread

I don't advocate trying to change his opinion, just telling him he's an arsehole.

Course you would.

FIL is of his era and a lost cause

Well he's certainly a lost cause.

There's a time to have a feminist view and on holiday where the drinks are flowing is not the right time IMO

no. that is such a load of tripe @vandelier I can't even begin to fathom why you would hold such a bizarre viewpoint.

I’m guessing your FIL feels bitter and threatened that there are women who made it as professional footballers, and get to play football for a living, while his manly ass didn’t

To which all I can say is

Hahahahaha

Ahahahahahaha