FIL showing himself up - saddened by DH’s reaction

Yes you are being unreasonable. Perhaps you could have responded as you heard what was said.

What are you on about?

So heartened to hear my rugby mad brother in law and his 11 year old son have a serious in depth conversation about rugby but about the women’s team. “Did you hear x is stepping down as coach?”. “ I know his wife’s in the team but think she’ll stay on she’s been doing really well this season. they’ll just have to replace x as manager he’s gone as far as he can with them “ and so on and on. No differentiation that it was the women’s team they were talking about. Love my BIL he has girls too and knows what he’s doing,

Yes ,some posters seem to believe that a man in his 60s would typically share the views of the FIL based on his age. That’s ageism.

This makes no sense. They play against the best women’s teams just as how the men play against the best men.

😂😂😂

Statistically speaking, the England women’s team are much more successful than the men’s team.

I’d be asking FIL if he just prefers to support losers.

I get wanting to avoid a fight so not challenging his dad. I don’t get agreeing with him in the end.

What I’ve learnt from this thread…

Holiday Checklist:

Bikini ✅
Sarong ✅
Flip Flops ✅
Shampoo ✅
Toothbrush ✅
Conditioner ✅
Sunscreen ✅
Feminist Views ❎

Tbh, only because the competition is poor. Unfortunately many womens football teams are not good, so obviously this means that the few that are pretty much win every time. Not saying everyone will find womens football dire, but I do.

theres a difference btween not challenging him and saying youve got a point

he should have said so your gd is going to be a fat lesbian footballer is she

No YANBU - my DH has often let his own dad say things in the past that have been appalling in relation to women and I have had to challenge him.

Nothing as bad as what your FIL said but views that indicate that he thinks women are less capable.

My DH says there is no point, his dad won’t change etc. but no way will I allow my daughters to hear anything that makes them think men are better than them.

So does he only watch mens' football because he WOULD touch them with a bargepole? Is it sexual for him? If not, why is it for the women's football? What an idiot

Personally I think he tried and gave up- I’d be the same with someone who put it so grotesquely- it was only going to end in a big long conversation with no resulting change

This is ridiculous 😀

I'd say you were all a bit pissed after a long daytime session in the pub. That's how rows and fights start. Don't turn into a dartboard for the sake of it.

I'd be more concerned that the young one was in the pub with you. Nothing else to do in Benidorm I suppose. 😊

Your DH agreed his father had a point so is as bad as he is.

The same age as my husband he would never say anything like that and neither would our male friends of that age. Age is not an excuse. Not all 60- men live in the 1950s!
Your husband should have challenged him. At least he should have told him that his granddaughter plays football.

even if he didn't want to pull him up or say something, the bare minimum he could have done is not agreed with him!

He could have just said 'Okay,' or changed the subject, not essentially told FIL he was so convincing he'd changed DH's own mind and now thought his own daughter was a "fat lezza" who only "pretends" to know how to do the hobby she's invested in. Grim.

So… by that logic, he watches the men’s football because he’d like a piece of them…?

You have come across so, so poorly on this thread. 😬

My late FIL, who had a sexist attitude to most things tbh, appreciated the skill in the women's game and appreciated the fact it was slower as the skill was much more evident rather than sheer power. See also womens tennis and cricket.

Your FIL sounds like a total prick.

Women's football is much slower paced and if you're DFIL had said something reasonable to explain that or something similar to say why it wasn't his preference - not a problem.
The real issue is that he is just a common, rough type. I prefer to not be in the same room as men/people like that, let alone holiday with them.
No point challenging people like this. A thoughtful, considerate person capable of taking on board feedback and correcting their behaviour wouldn't be so crass in the first place - so catch 22! And if you pull him up on it you know he will make it all about how oversensitive you are 🙄
Avoid him as much as possible going forward would be my policy.

This 'different era' stuff is just lazy bullshit, my dad's in his eighties and wouldn't dream of it - its all an excuse to be misogynistic, your dh needs to stop giving him a pass.

Sounds like DH had felt he'd had a good bonding day with his dad and was trying to offer the same tomorrow. It did sound like he at least tried to push back a bit, and other than continuing to try and insist he thought his dad was in the wrong. It was clearly a conversation going nowhere.

DH should ask DD if she wants to watch it instead? At least they could have a nice afternoon together if she wants to watch.