FIL showing himself up - saddened by DH’s reaction

Yes, servants' attitude to frivolity was markedly different from that of their masters. The amoral rot, decadence, debauchery always started upstairs, from lack of meaningful work, from laziness and emphaloscepsis. Yes, I did an awful lot of reading on the subject. Nowhere did I say sport is not good for women - sport is brilliant for women, only not men's disciplines. Rowing is fantastic for women - yes, you can get the occasional smack in the chops, but it is not boxing.

@Lanzarotelady

Women's football is dire.

Can you explain why you believe this to be the case?

You think servants and the servant classes disdained ‘frivolity’? I suggest you do a bit of reading.

And there’s absolutely no need for any woman to marry, far less live out someone else’s idea of what constitutes a ‘good wife’. Or for a child not to do well at school and university while playing football to a high level. I know a couple of women with sports scholarships to IS universities, one in football, one in rowing. Sport doesn’t rot your brain cells.

What’s an almond mum?

You nit the nail on the head. I identify more with the servants' quarters than with the upstairs, hence my distain for frivolity of any sort. It does not make my opinions any less valid. And yes, all of them need to make good wives - I think this is the only thing MN is about or am I mistaken? Unlike LinkedIn. What do you suggest they become? Professional footballers or boxers? Date of birth is immaterial - Lenin was born in 1870 and it was he who decriminalised homosexuality, promoted free love, did away with the official marriage for a time, and allowed abortions.

We don't know your background, maybe you are well-born. I am speaking from the position of a person whose dc will have to make their own way in life, hence kicking a ball is not an option for my dds.

@SunnierDays21 whilst yes, ideally your DH should have pulled him up in this I think you could also have said something, even just a “I hope that attitude will change if you plan to come and watch DGD at any of her matches?”.

I’m a Season Ticket Holder for Everton, so watch lots of live football regularly. I have also watched a number of the Everton Women’s games over the last few years. In my view, the standard of women’s football has definitely improved, but there is still a fair difference between men’s and women’s football. It isn’t sexist or misogynistic to acknowledge that, but FIL can do that without the awful name calling and false labelling.

You might want to get your FIL to watch this short video - could be the wake up call he needs:

Plus let’s not forget the Lionesses have achieved something their male counterparts have never managed - winning the Euros!

I assume he knows your daughter plays?

When you’re next with your (sober) FIL I’d refer back to this occasion and gently ask how he’d feel if a drunk older man had said that about his granddaughter playing football?

Why is a sport only worthwhile if it leads to a career?

I’m pretty certain schools do teach languages.

Each to their own, but I’m not about to tell my niece there’s no point her playing football because she can’t make money out of it and to tell her to stick to chess. I will be telling her to do what she enjoys.

Lanzarotelady was commenting derogatively about the size and appearance of the women football players which is why the other poster called her out. It's unacceptable from OP's FIL and it's unacceptable from posters on this thread.

You were commenting negatively about the physical appearance of the players in the women's football team, so that poster has asked about your size/appearance.

Most people are saying that it's fine not to watch or enjoy women's football but OP's elderly FIL making crude and sexist comments about their size/appearance is not acceptable.

Yes your husband shouldn't ha e agreed with him. And could have asked him questions like what has their sexual orientation got to do with it, what do you think about your granddaughter playing then etc. But pulling someone up in the moment is really hard, it's always easy to think what you would have said afterwards. Particulalry when you know you're not going to change their views, and there are other family dynamics at play etc

I wouldn’t take any notice of @Hwi. I’m pretty sure they don’t encounter any actual people on a day to day basis.

@Hwi. I've always enjoyed playing football. At university, I played while.completing a degree in literature with a specialism in the Brontë sisters.

I'm happy in my job. But I'm neither a pro footballer or a poet.

It really is like you've just Just stepped out of the servants' quarters at the parsonage

All these silly wayward girls. Running amok with their daft and frivolous ideas!

All them needs do is make themselves good wives, in't it?

Football? For women? Boxing?

Not good wives

Won't be Alex Scott sweeping off the scullery stairs where they've fallen - carrying all the laundry while laden with child - now will it?

I think FIL was born in 1960. Not 1860!

That is why I am saying virtue signalling is not compulsory and neither is insulting Lanzarotelady is compulsory. Or is it only the FIL who is not allowed to call people fat?

You are commenting on my size, have you ever seen me, do you know what dress size I am?? No.

You are commentating on my sporting ability. Have you ever seen me play any sport?? No.

My ability to play or not play football is not in question here, the fact remains, his language may not have been the best, but for Gods sake does anyone here actually go to pubs or work nowadays and listen to conversations??

Women's football is dire.

No, we are discussing the disgusting behaviour and misogyny of OP's FIL and her H's reaction (or lack of)

Institute Servantes

Its actually "Cervantes" after the famous Spanish Author so if you want to write such pretentious posts maybe get the basics right?

Lanzarotelady is not being discussed here, we are talking about women's football and FIL's opinion of it - why would you attack Lanzarotelady? She happened to express an opinion shared by most football fans, that is all. You know that virtue signalling is not compulsory?

I am putting my honest opinion here. I am aware of it. I am not that poster who would write 'uni is not for all, tell your dc to go into trades', whilst bending over backwards to send their own children to uni. Or to say 'body positivity is great' (for others) whilst being an almond mum. So my honest opinion is that football is a waste of time for girls because it is unlikely to lead to the same sporting career and earnings as for male footballers. In UK schools, including private schools, there are so many things amiss, like they don't teach languages, for example. So instead of football, daughters could be sent to Alliance Francaise, Goethe Institute, or Institute Servantes, whatever is available in their town. They don't teach chess at schools either - a more useful sport (even though massively male dominated with abysmal results for women) - so I would encourage daughters to play chess. And any normal female sport, which would not guarantee hernias, uterine prolapse and dislocated jaws (i.e. not weightlifting, or boxing). I don't have millions to leave to my dc, unfortunately, so my dc would have to work in future, so my thinking is conditioned by that. If I had millions to leave to my dds, I would not have minded them doing football as I would not have cared about their wasting time on it quite so much (but weightlifting would be out of the question for the same reason, as boxing.

You aren't wrong
I think I have come across that Poster before and if I am right she is VERY proud of her O level in English

Do you know many men who call the players "fat Lezzas" because if you do might I suggest you try and meet different men?
Nobody is criticising the FIL for not wanting to watch any sport BUT his language was vile

My husband is 63 and yesterday he watched a women’s football match on tv, followed by a women’s Six Nations rugby match, and enjoyed both, without a single sexiest or misogynist comment.

The ‘ different era’ stuff is an ageist insult to all the people of FIL’s age group and older who fought for (and gained) women’s rights, fought homophobia, etc etc.

Your DH should have said “Well I would have to disagree on every count, don’t worry, Dd and I will watch, she’s turning out to be a cracking footballer “

Instead of his pathetic ‘you have a point’.

That’s where he let himself and his Dd down.

It's as though Queen Victoria has come back to life and is expressing her views on women's sport.

Your posts are some of the oddest on Mumsnet.

It's fine for you and OP's FIL to not want to watch women's football. Making derogatory comments about their appearance is not OK.

It's such a fucking joke that hideous sexist old men like OP's FIL will say that they wouldn't touch some women with a bargepole as if

a) these women will be upset that they don't meet the high standards of a disgusting old man, and

b) that they would touch FIL with a bargepole if they had the opportunity.