FIL showing himself up - saddened by DH’s reaction

Incidentally, Japan has rhythmic for both men & women, and it isn't a big deal to them, though the men's moves have some differences.

https://apnews.com/article/2020-tokyo-olympics-gymnastics-entertainment-sports-lifestyle-abeb9ae89ceccd0f95728c07846310e6

So you don't watch male sportspeople unless you think they're handsome? Fair enough, I guess! 🤣

So you think bc in your view, insulting women (who aren't even fat!) as 'fat lezzas' is standard on workplaces & pubs, we should accept that?

People CAN critique a sport politely.

Do you really think these women are 'chunky' and 'fat'?

Maybe I'm short-sighted, but I can't see it...🤔

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-48801235

Why is it 'virtue signalling' to disagree with insulting people for being lesbians?

I know this is an old thread, but what an odd comment. As to the 'good wives' comment : I assume you mean that doing a 'masculine' sport like football puts men off women? True for some men, though plenty of women in such sports are married to men.

And obviously your daughters can't be 100% guaranteed to grow up to be straight.

Strange also to say MN is 'only' about being a good wife. Ofc plenty of threads here are about marriage, but many posters are single and plenty are in relationships/marriages with women.

What has this got to do with this thread ?

You sound bitter and confused.
This discussion is about the OP's FiL being misogynist, homophobic, and crude, and neither her or her dh challenging it.
It has nothing to do with chess, or your rather odd opinions about sport.

Women have won against men is chess, there are 42 female grandmasters.
But much like football chess has been male dominated for years.
The generally held belief is because males have more options to play than females do.

Going back to football, the women's game was banned for many years. That alone will put them and their football association back many years.
Then there is also the current question that surrounds the kit that is used.
as an example there is currently research into football boots for females due to the abnormally high percentage of ACL injuries.

So what does it come down to, why do you think a woman cannot win against a man in chess? Its not physical, so I am genuinely interested in knowing why.
It isn't something I have ever thought about if I am honest.

but that isn't about skill or fitness, that is about the difference between males and females.

That said your FIL is a misogynist. I cannot imagine having a misogynist FIL but if I did I would reduce the time myself and my kids spent around him.

Get your DD to kick football's at grandad's head

You know, I don't care about football at all, I think it is a perfectly dumb game for both men and women, but what makes me angry and embarrassed and hateful of men (yes, I admit it) is that they wipe the floor with us in chess. And no amount of equal access to coaching (the USSR and Socialist block countries created hothouses for female chess players), no amount of funding, etc. seems to be able to change that. I would absolutely love women to trash men at chess, this is the only male sport that I would love to see women reigning in, against men. Ball-kicking or getting hernias with weightlifting I just don't care about.

Why do men and women have separate categories in sporting events?

That alone should answer your question about the difference in male and female football.

Its a misnomer though - you don't earn leas than men, you earn less as a mum than the dads at your company because they don't have access to equal paternity.

Equal parenting benefits everyone.

You earn less because the men at your workplace don't take equal time off. They don't miss the courses or take time off tor their sick kids, why is that?

You misunderstood me! I am all for women working AND having babies! I earn less than my male colleagues because of the things I listed above, connected to my taking time off, i.e. could not go on training courses, etc. All I am saying is that I understand why I earn less and I don't find it unfair. I would not campaign for equal paternity leave because no paternity leave can ever replace a maternity leave in terms of the benefit to the children. I am all for equal pay for equal work, no doubt about it.

At least your DH tried, in the future if he makes any similar comments in front of your DD pull him up there and then, there is such a thing as freedom of speech after all

You need to change the "lads" you mix with if that's the typical conversation you're hearing in the pub.

Well come back and whinge at me when we have no babies and pension then.

Or perhaps campaign for equal paternity leave and pay, not a simple sloping shoulders of "well women can half it if they want to.

In the case of women footballers, how many of them have taken a lot off time off for maternity leave?

Ah, @Hwi I thought as much. I enjoy a nineteenth century novel, but medical thinking at that time diagnosed hysteria in women as related to the uterus, and causes included waywardness including reading books, masturbation, etc. The same, or similar context in which your debauched servants in the grip of emphaloscepsis [sic] (did you mean omphaloskepsis?) were analysed.

.

I’d have challenged it myself tbh. No point getting upset when you also didn’t confront the issue. I don’t care if FIL is my husbands dad and not mine - when he pulls shit like this I let him know he’s a bigot. Generally I’d add that I had no idea he thought women so beneath him and that he should clearly get on the pitch and show the silly athletes his incredible skill and athleticism.

FIL is my generation then.

It's not because of his age, it's because he has vile attitudes towards women. I'd be furious with DH for not challenging the 'fat lezzers' and bargepole comments. That goes beyond not enjoying women's football into hatred of women who don't prioritise men/him. Which, I hope, is most of us. So most women.

I know quite a few (to my not-interested in sports eyes) football fanatics in that age group. They mostly like women's football too but the ones who don't, don't express views like that about the players.

A couple of years ago I saw a bunch celebrating in the pub because one of them had a granddaughter signed up by a big academy. They were all so happy and proud.

Plus the homophobia as well as sexism.

He expressed
Professional sportswomen are fat.
Professional sportswomen are lesbians.
Lesbians are 'lezzers'
Lesbians are ugly (they must be lesbians as he wouldn't touch them with a bargepole)
Women should care about whether he finds them attractive.

Your FIL basically just hates women. Watch yourself with that one.

Female doctors are often paid less, promoted less and publish less because they take a lot of paid time off for maternity leave. Life happens to us all. Not just doctors, all professions.