Not pulling out for flashing cars?

I agree. Whilst I obviously always check for myself whether it's truly safe to go before moving, I'd say that 99% or more of the time that somebody flashes me to go, it IS a welcome (and practical) kindness that helps me.

Only on MN would an everyday offer of a kind gesture - whether you accept it or decline it - be assumed to be a deliberate act of bullying or aggression!

Even in cases (as complained about on here) where somebody is the only car on the road, so they could just keep going and be gone in 5 seconds anyway, I think some people fail to realise that they are also acting as a safety 'barrier' for you - so that any vehicles that may be haring along and appear out of nowhere behind them will also have to stop, whether they like it or not.

This is also my thinking when I stop to let slow old and/or vulnerable folk cross in front of me, even if there's (currently) nothing behind me: I've seen their need to cross, noted that they will likely take much more time than a fully able-bodied young person to cross and have temporarily 'closed off' that lane of traffic to enable them to take as much time as they need to safely cross, regardless of who may end up behind me.

I often wonder on MN threads about driving whether a lot of the people who participate in the discussion are actually drivers - or if they've never been behind the wheel in their lives, but they own and occasionally glance at a copy of the Highway Code, so they assume that they pretty much know the full score!

This reminds me of the tedious over-played ‘boundaries’ thing.
I can’t imagine even contemplating this to be an issue. If it’s safe, just wave thanks and pull out, ffs.

I say the scenario described by @Lonelycrab can be done without flashing lights. If you want to let someone go, slow down, and let them decide.

In the advanced driving test that driving instructors have to take, you can fail for flashing headlights to tell someone to go. I know someone who failed on this: they used to be a bus driver, so were used to flashing for the benefit of another bus in front, telling them they can move away from the stop. Another thing people often failed on was: you must use a bus lane if it’s allowed at that time, because of the rule about keeping to the left in general. (I thought this was pointless, but it caught lots of people out.)

You’re not meant to flash other drivers to let them out as you can’t possibly see what’s around to make it safe. I always ignore and don’t care if they get arsey

So you're suggesting we should ignore the Highway Code?

Rule 110
Flashing headlights. Only flash your headlights to let other road users know that you are there. Do not flash your headlights to convey any other message or intimidate other road users.

Rule 111
Never assume that flashing headlights is a signal inviting you to proceed. Use your own judgement and proceed carefully.

someome did this to me once and I pulled out and they drove right into me. Of course I was at fault so I have never done that again.

Someone flashing you does not absolve you of your responsibility to look out for other road and traffic considerations. It does not mean that you don’t observe any other hazards that might be there due to oncoming traffic/pedestrians or anything else.

It simply means that the driver flashing you has observed your situation and is trying to give you space to do what you want.

They’re not driving your car for you.

Ugh yes, there's an epidemic of that in this rural area, usually accompanied by impatient performative gesturing by men of a certain age. Mate, there's literally nobody behind you 🙄

Could I also mention cyclists enthusiastically gesturing for you to overtake them on a blind bend?? If you're a cyclist, please please please don't do this. I want to make my own decision on when it's safe to overtake.

What really annoys me is when someone slows down and flashes you when the road is completely clear behind them. By the time they've slowed and you've assessed they are letting you out it has taken longer than them just driving on past.

I live on a road like pp that has bumps and there have been accidents when people have thought they had been flashed.

I'd do the same. I want to make my own decisions. I'm not going to pull out just because someone flashes or waves unless I can be certain the road is clear, including cyclists etc in blind spots.

Even worse when there;s just no need, i.e. the only car or last car in the queue, where it'd be easier and safer for them just to continue and let me pull in behind them with better visibility etc.

But if in a long queue of stationery or slow moving traffic, then fair enough, it's a nice favour to do, as long as I have good visibility that it's clear,

Maybe it's a big city thing, as I live in a semi-rural market town, so we don't tend to have the 'delights' of mass organised insurance fraud.

Again, maybe because we don't have a big-city road system like a rabbit warren, we do have several roads where bottle-necks are common and unavoidable and you can expect to wait for several minutes if somebody doesn't kindly flash to let one or two cars out now and again.

I don't follow your "damn both sides" point?

And if you were taking a car driving test, then you were a novice in that particular respect - however road-aware you already were (and how is any other driver seeing a car with an L-plate and more than one person in it to know how confident or experienced you are?).

If you go from the pov that any driving move that isn't strictly in accordance with the Highway Code is an act of aggression or malfeasance, then I take your point; but I would personally see the two as comparable.

Similarly, if I see an old person using a mobility scooter waiting indefinitely to cross through a very long line of traffic and I'm able to stop the traffic and offer them a gap IF they're happy that it's safe, then I will continue to do so.

You were being silly

Insurance fraud by this method, while not completely unheard of, is imo a lot rarer than this thread is making it out to be. These days so many drivers are using dash cams and that makes it a lot harder for those trying to commit fraud to succeed. I’m not claiming it’s never happened, but tbh if I wanted to commit insurance fraud I’d far sooner just wait until someone was right up my exhaust pipe (regular occurrence) and then slam my brakes on. Remember: vehicle behind is liable; job done and claim validated.

So a lot of needless panicky scaremongering on this thread imo.

Here’s a typical example of where flashing is helpful and entirely appropriate:

Youre traveling along in a 30 in heavy traffic, going probably around 20-25.
You can see in the other lane, a car indicating to pull across your lane into a side road. There is a long backlog of cars behind this one waiting for the car indicating to get across and out of the way.
You can see that infront of you the traffic is heavily bunched up and going nowhere fast.
So you slow to 15-20mph leaving a gap of maybe 50m and flash the car that is waiting. You’re no where near them, and you’re letting them know, showing them that they have ample time to get across. Only 1-2 seconds required.
There are no right of way conflicts for the waiting driver as they are turning into a side road (or driveway even)

This is how it works most of the time.
Virtually all drivers see this as good etiquette and helpful, and will thank you for doing so. The huge queue behind the indicating driver is thankful too.

That’s how it works in the real world.

I'm amazed at how much some people on here get upset, or even angry, at somebody offering them a small kindness - and the suggestions that they're probably doing it for a fraudulent 'crash and cash' claim, rather than just showing a bit of basic human courtesy that will add 2 seconds on to their journey time but potentially save you 10 minutes on yours

That's because insurance fraud is big business and fraudulent crashes happen every day, up and down the country. The reason they are so successful is because they rely on people's gullibility about it just being a courteous thing to do.

Also when have you ever seen anyone sitting at a side road for a full ten minutes?

I wasn't a novice, I'd had a motorbike license for over a decade at that point. Loving your "damn both sides" posts though, keep it up.

@leafy74

Why, thank you but you should know posting on MN doesn’t need your specific invitation.

And to whoever posted conflating bin tidying and driving, I think you need to work on your comparatives, insofar as your examples aren’t.

I get this quite often at the entrance to the car park for my office. I turn right over 2 lanes of traffic - one is a bus lane - the amount of times I’ve had someone stop and flash and start gesticulating at me as they forget there is 2 lanes and fail to notice the bus or bike pass them. Most of them will hold their hands up and apologise when they realise I’m not wasting their time.

The offerer/flasher(!) has no justification at all in demanding or getting annoyed if somebody chooses to decline their offer.

Most drivers are happy to accept that their offer has been declined for whatever reason and just proceed as they were.

They were stupid to do it to a car that clearly contained a learner driver (whether on a test or just a lesson).

A novice driver only has the HC to staunchly abide by, until they gain the experience to be able to make safe judgments that may slightly differ; in the same way that we teach young children to always wait for the green man before crossing, as they don't yet have the experience that an adult would to know that, if the road is deserted, there's no need whatsoever to wait.

Neither does courteous driving, as long as everybody concerned is alert and cautious.

I'm amazed at how much some people on here get upset, or even angry, at somebody offering them a small kindness - and the suggestions that they're probably doing it for a fraudulent 'crash and cash' claim, rather than just showing a bit of basic human courtesy that will add 2 seconds on to their journey time but potentially save you 10 minutes on yours.

Incidentally, it's interesting how nobody seems to care about upbraiding the 95% of drivers who always pull forwards on to their drives, instead of reversing on to them and then driving out forwards. That's also against the Highway Code - and I would have thought very obviously more dangerous.

I presume that all of the people on here who are harumphing and claiming to always rigidly stick to the HC only ever reverse on to their driveways (if they have them)?

if "I'd hate to know what you would think of our terrible, disgusting neighbour who kindly brought our bin back in for us the other day when she collected her own; or our vile, despicable local dog walkers who take a bin bag and grabber with them and pick up loads of unsightly litter on their way!!"

Bringing a bin in doesn't cause a crash though. Neither does litter picking. (I do both all the time). There's nothing "kind" about ignoring the highway code.

I would be grateful for someone doing this although you could be in danger from someone overtaking that car but I detest drivers on main roads who do this as their duty of care is to the traffic behind them on the road.

If she didn't to that's fine.

Many on this thread have made comments about never, under any circumstances, would they do this. That just seems silly to me.