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Original poster

To be angry of DH fiddling on my side of the bed?

206 replies

Kukaracha · 12/04/2025 16:23

When I go out and he is having a me moment IYKWIM, he does it on my side of the bed because it’s further away from the window. Don’t ask how I know - I think most women know what happens in the house when they are out, it’s like CSI in our heads.

I don’t care that he does it as such, who does not - just not on my side. Close the blinds, pull the curtains, just get off my pillows.

OP posts:
IdaGlossop · 12/04/2025 16:59

Close the curtains, man. Such a simple solution - although the neighbours might be amused.

Pedallleur · 12/04/2025 16:57

girljulian · 12/04/2025 16:49

I don't give a shit where my husband wanks really, so long as he doesn't make a mess!

The manager at Asda would like a word with you.

alwaysdeleteyourcookies · 12/04/2025 16:56

SapphireOpal · 12/04/2025 16:54

But how does she know he's doing this if he's not leaving evidence?!

Show quote history

He's resting on her pillows? If he's finishing on her pillows, mind, that's grim.

Original poster
Kukaracha · 12/04/2025 16:55

No evidence on the sheets, in fairness, the evidence is in the laundry bin. The way bed is re-arranged on my side is how I know, as well as belting upstairs to double-check all is the clue, when I got home.

I do not karate chop pillows and cushions on one side. Dry clean only velvet embellished cushions. I am so angry.

OP posts:
SapphireOpal · 12/04/2025 16:54

Keepsmiling2948 · 12/04/2025 16:47

Am I the only one here missing where she said he leaves anything on the sheets? I read it as he just lies on her side because it’s away from the window. In which case I don’t see the issue.

But how does she know he's doing this if he's not leaving evidence?!

alwaysdeleteyourcookies · 12/04/2025 16:53

I think most women know what happens in the house when they are out, it’s like CSI in our heads.

Fascinating.

RunLikeTheWild · 12/04/2025 16:53

SadCarpetMess · 12/04/2025 16:36

You could knit him a personalised wank sock and before you go out, leave it on your side of the bed with a note. The tone of the note is obviously up to you.

I never see that mentioned anymore, I sometimes wonder if I imagined it but obviously not.

consistentlyinconsistent · 12/04/2025 16:52

6 years in and I can honestly say I am ignorant of my husband's masturbating schedule. Which is ideal. MN honestly makes me lose faith in humanity.

nessiesnotreal · 12/04/2025 16:51

girljulian · 12/04/2025 16:49

I don't give a shit where my husband wanks really, so long as he doesn't make a mess!

^ This

Don't care that he does it, don't care where he does it, just as long as he cleans up after himself!

alwaysdeleteyourcookies · 12/04/2025 16:51

As long as there's nothing on the sheets, I wouldn't care. If there is, he would be told to wash.and change them.

girljulian · 12/04/2025 16:49

I don't give a shit where my husband wanks really, so long as he doesn't make a mess!

Keepsmiling2948 · 12/04/2025 16:47

Am I the only one here missing where she said he leaves anything on the sheets? I read it as he just lies on her side because it’s away from the window. In which case I don’t see the issue.

DaughterNo2 · 12/04/2025 16:46

Pillows 🤢

EverythingThatHappensWillHappenToday · 12/04/2025 16:45

Jesus, just when you think you’ve read it all… So, how does this play out, OP? I mean, how often does he do this? Is he waiting at the window for you to disappear down the street, then dashing upstairs for his little “treat”? Honestly, I’m fairly broad-minded, but I’d be very unhappy at the thought of my husband dropping his pants and wanking like a chimp the minute I stepped out of the door.

Pedallleur · 12/04/2025 16:42

Even Jay in The Inbetweeners had the grace to have tissues handy

FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 12/04/2025 16:42

Lazy and disrespectful at best... At worst, purposeful soiling of your side for some malicious or misogynistic reason.

ItGhoul · 12/04/2025 16:40

Why is he spunking on the sheets? If a man’s sitting up, or lying on his back, for a wank, it typically just lands on his body.

If he isn’t coming on to the bed linen I don’t really see why it would be a problem.

Pedallleur · 12/04/2025 16:38

Don't some people claim to have posh wanks? Tell him you know and just stop or use his side of the bed/use tissues/change the sheet/leave a sheet out and a note saying when you have finished wanking please change the sheet and put the soiled one in the washing basket. Thank you.

TheBuffetInspector · 12/04/2025 16:38

"Can you not wank on my side of the bed please? Thank you"

Idontknowhatnametochoose · 12/04/2025 16:37

That's absolutely horrible. He's leaving his come for you to sleep in? I would be livid. So disrespectful.

SadCarpetMess · 12/04/2025 16:36

You could knit him a personalised wank sock and before you go out, leave it on your side of the bed with a note. The tone of the note is obviously up to you.

MarxistMags · 12/04/2025 16:35

Ewwww..

Serpentstooth · 12/04/2025 16:35

You lucky thing. Makes having a husband worthwhile, am green with envy. Well, green with something YUK OP. The things some women put up with.

murasaki · 12/04/2025 16:34

ExtraOnions · 12/04/2025 16:30

He wanks in your side of the bed? How do you know this ?

I have no idea when, or where (or if??), my husband masturbates. I’ve never seen any associated detritus hanging around.

Quite, I'm sure he does, I do, but your side of the bed and evidence is not on. At all.

murasaki · 12/04/2025 16:33

Grim.

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