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Original poster

New partner room sharing with teenage step kids on holiday?

85 replies

GreatFatball · 12/04/2025 15:28

Background…

Close friend has been in a relationship with her partner since last summer. There was an overlap with her and his (nearly) ex-wife, but the ex doesn’t know this and they’d been together for the kids only for many years. They have 2 children together friend has none. As you can imagine the ex wasn’t too happy that her husband had “moved on” so quickly and has been quite difficult with divorce/child contact etc.

My friend has been well accepted by her partners family and in November they invited her to a 2 week family holiday to Disneyland for this coming autumn. Holiday would be her partners parents, siblings and their children as well as his children.

His ex was not happy learning this had been booked and sent a message questioning the sleeping arrangements stating it would be inappropriate for my friend and her partner to be sharing a room with his teenage kids.

I assumed separate rooms would have been booked but apparently not due to price… so they are room sharing with his 11 year old daughter and 16 year old son for 2 weeks! Friend thinks ex is just being difficult like she is with everything else but I can kind of see her point on this one…

Am I being unreasonable to agree with the ex that this set up is inappropriate? If not how do I communicate this to my friend or should I just not get involved!!

edit to add - partners parents are paying for all flights - then friend and her partner are paying for room/tickets/dining plan etc. I would assume he is paying more than her due to the kids but she is definitely contributing her part. She’s said it would be an extra 4k to add additional rooms for the children to share separately to them so it’s purely financial reasons why they didn’t opt to do it

OP posts:
Radarro · 12/04/2025 16:33

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Marble10 · 12/04/2025 16:32

Wildly inappropriate!
Is her boyfriend and his parents ok with it too?!
For the sake of 2 weeks and 4 grand, I’d say the friend should not go.

Original poster
GreatFatball · 12/04/2025 16:32

DaughterNo2 · 12/04/2025 15:49

Just me thinking that OP is actually the ‘friend’

Yep clearly I’m “the friend” despite agreeing with the ex I wouldn’t be comfortable with my kids doing this 🤣

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 12/04/2025 16:31

Soontobe60 · 12/04/2025 15:36

So, in a nutshell, bloke has an affair, tells the ‘other woman’ that he and his wife are only together because of the kids, leaves his wife (or she throws him out) and now his girlfriend is expected to share a bedroom with his 16 year old son on holiday?
Thats all kinds of inappropriate. How awkward for the 16 year old, how embarrassing for both teens to see their dad sleeping with his girlfriend. Grim.

Absolutely this.

Shes really found herself a prince amongst men hasn’t she

Hollyaddy · 12/04/2025 16:29

BruFord · 12/04/2025 16:22

While it’s none of the OP’s business, I’m assuming that the OP’s friend has told her all about it and wants reassurance that the situation is OK. Is that the case, OP?

If so, I think you’ll have to be honest and tell her that it’s grim and that the children aren’t going to like sharing with her and their Dad for TWO weeks. 🤢

I have teenagers and I suspect that they’d refuse to come on the trip if they had to share with their Dad and myself for two weeks, and we’re their parents!

Edited

Agree.

Hollyaddy · 12/04/2025 16:28

I don't even share a room. Anymore on hols with my own 16 year old ds. Certainly wouldn't share with anyone else's.

Beyond weird.

TennesseeStella · 12/04/2025 16:27

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/04/2025 15:36

Is it Disney Paris? Where the rooms have 2 double beds typically? Are the brother and sister expected to share a bed at that age?

Surely no-one could spend two whole weeks at Disneyland Paris?!

MesmerisingMuon · 12/04/2025 16:24

Absolutely not appropriate.

Either pay for a separate room or don't go yourself.

A teen shouldn't have to share with his dads gf!

BruFord · 12/04/2025 16:22

While it’s none of the OP’s business, I’m assuming that the OP’s friend has told her all about it and wants reassurance that the situation is OK. Is that the case, OP?

If so, I think you’ll have to be honest and tell her that it’s grim and that the children aren’t going to like sharing with her and their Dad for TWO weeks. 🤢

I have teenagers and I suspect that they’d refuse to come on the trip if they had to share with their Dad and myself for two weeks, and we’re their parents!

Quiceinalifetime · 12/04/2025 16:20

Don’t comment unless your friend asks you and is she does tell her what you think. There’s no right answer. Personally I wouldn’t share a room with 2 teenagers except in some emergency. Sounds like a recipe for strife. I’d decline to go and suggest DP shares with his son and DD shares with a cousin or two, either girls or younger boys, on a camp bed if necessary.

Violashifts · 12/04/2025 16:15

If you have teens you have to suck up the cost of an extra room. It is inappropriate in my opinion.

Ellie56 · 12/04/2025 16:14

Eww! Those poor kids having to share a room with their dad and some random woman. Totally inappropriate.

And at their ages it's inappropriate to be sharing with each other too.

I would think if they haven't already kicked off about it, they very soon will do.

CoffeeInTheClouds · 12/04/2025 16:12

Oh my goodness, what a ridiculous plan!

My Dad brought his girlfriend along on a holiday when I was a teen...but he at least had the decency to book her into a different hotel! That was awkward enough.

If new girlfriend must tag along, she needs a separate room, or cheaper hotel if she must. It sounds to me like they are staying in a Disney hotel...which are small and as others have said, usually just two queen size beds. If they keep her name on the original booking she will still be able to keep the 'perks' and use the hotel pool etc. even if staying elsewhere.

SeventeenClovesOfGarlic · 12/04/2025 15:59

It's none of your concern but would you not rather have better friends than some mistress?
Hopefully someone has the kids best interests centred and they haven't yet been made to meet their father's current lover.

Radarro · 12/04/2025 15:58

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

outerspacepotato · 12/04/2025 15:57

I'm just going to run away screaming here.

Nooooooooooooooooooo😟

DollydaydreamTheThird · 12/04/2025 15:53

GreatFatball · 12/04/2025 15:28

Background…

Close friend has been in a relationship with her partner since last summer. There was an overlap with her and his (nearly) ex-wife, but the ex doesn’t know this and they’d been together for the kids only for many years. They have 2 children together friend has none. As you can imagine the ex wasn’t too happy that her husband had “moved on” so quickly and has been quite difficult with divorce/child contact etc.

My friend has been well accepted by her partners family and in November they invited her to a 2 week family holiday to Disneyland for this coming autumn. Holiday would be her partners parents, siblings and their children as well as his children.

His ex was not happy learning this had been booked and sent a message questioning the sleeping arrangements stating it would be inappropriate for my friend and her partner to be sharing a room with his teenage kids.

I assumed separate rooms would have been booked but apparently not due to price… so they are room sharing with his 11 year old daughter and 16 year old son for 2 weeks! Friend thinks ex is just being difficult like she is with everything else but I can kind of see her point on this one…

Am I being unreasonable to agree with the ex that this set up is inappropriate? If not how do I communicate this to my friend or should I just not get involved!!

edit to add - partners parents are paying for all flights - then friend and her partner are paying for room/tickets/dining plan etc. I would assume he is paying more than her due to the kids but she is definitely contributing her part. She’s said it would be an extra 4k to add additional rooms for the children to share separately to them so it’s purely financial reasons why they didn’t opt to do it

This is all kinds of wrong. Those poor kids! I would not be happy about this either. I'm sure the kids will have realised that he was cheating on their mum with this woman as well. As someone else said......GRIM.

InALonelyWorld · 12/04/2025 15:51

DaughterNo2 · 12/04/2025 15:49

Just me thinking that OP is actually the ‘friend’

Or a relation of the boyfriend.

Radarro · 12/04/2025 15:49

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

DaughterNo2 · 12/04/2025 15:49

Just me thinking that OP is actually the ‘friend’

ItGhoul · 12/04/2025 15:44

they are room sharing with his 11 year old daughter and 16 year old son for 2 weeks! Friend thinks ex is just being difficult like she is with everything else but I can kind of see her point on this one…

This is appalling. No way on earth should a couple of kids be sharing with their dad and his girlfriend, especially not at the age of 11 and 16.

I cannot believe your friend thinks it’s OK for her to be sharing a bedroom, under any circumstances, with a 16-year-old boy. What the hell is wrong with her?

CurbsideProphet · 12/04/2025 15:43

"Together for the kids only for many years".
Yes I'm sure that's what he likes to say.
If she's happy to be with a man when he's still married it doesn't sound like she's going to have any issues with things like appropriate hotel room allocations. You may as well stay out of it, as it doesn't seem like she's open to any sensible advice anyway.

QuillBill · 12/04/2025 15:43

Westfacing · 12/04/2025 15:39

Your friend is stupid for going along on this trip - why would she want to share a room with a 16 year-old boy, never mind the general overcrowding of two teens and two adults sharing a room for two weeks!

I agree. It’s not like she has to go.

The whole thing sounds absolutely awful.

Appropriate wise, it’s probably manageable. Lots of getting changed in the bathroom and being properly dressed at all times but personally I’d pay four grand not to go.

Radarro · 12/04/2025 15:42

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Outofthepan · 12/04/2025 15:41

This is not an acceptable sleeping arrangement.

Weird af