Marriage suggestions please

The cheapest way of getting married is the no frills version which costs about £60 but you are only allowed 2 witnesses (I presume these would have to be adults), no guests or photos. I'm surprised how many people haven't heard of that.
Because councils only do two a week at 9.30 on a weekday. And they get booked up fast. We had to book a year in advance so we could have a no-frills wedding. We had a much larger humanist wedding later the same year, but humanist weddings are not legally recognised.

As for marriage not having a point after kids and a house? If your name isn't on the deeds or you don't pay towards the mortgage, you could lose your home with no money if you split up. And something a lot of people don't know : if you're not married you can't identify your partner's body unless you were present at the death and the body can be buried or cremated by family who don't have to involve you in the funeral arrangements.

Marriage is security.

It’s a great help if you’re having your dress as a gift—please ignore the people saying it’s rude to wear a nice dress for a simple party; I really doubt anyone’s going to be pricing it and as a gift it’s completely separate and will give you joy. I agree that church halls are great for parties (but your own garden could also be gorgeous if you have room) and then use some funds to decorate beautifully… you can easily cater a buffet cheaply and get some cheap prosecco then ask guests to bring a bottle if they like? It’s lovely to want all your family to celebrate with you, I hope it goes brilliantly!

What about a village hall/football club type venue with a buffet and bar for people to buy their own drinks? You could do a buffet fairly cheaply and just provide welcome drinks and one glass of bubbly for a toast.
Or do a simple registry office ceremony with you and your DC and a handful of guests, then a pub meal for everyone after.

What about Gretna Green?

Gretna Green Wedding Packages

They include accommodation and food - my friend had an intimate wedding there last year, and it was beautiful 🙂

INCLUDED IN YOUR PACKAGE
Enjoy the following benefits which will be included with your package:

▪ Two nights in a double room at the hotel of your choice with double rooms also included for guest accommodation.
▪ Full Scottish breakfast every morning.
▪ Two course evening meal with a drink on the night prior to your wedding for all guests and the wedding couple.
▪ Three course wedding dinner for the wedding couple and guests from the bronze menu.
▪ An arrival drink of Bucks Fizz, a glass of red or white wine with your meal and a glass of sparkling wine for your toast for all guests.
▪ Bronze buffet of bacon baps served with chips

I didn’t suggest a bin bag but I would be incredibly fucked off if someone said here’s the pub venue, you all buy your own meal and I’ll turn up in my one thousand pound dress. I’d be like are you fucking kidding me.

i also suggested the bring a plate thing if you read my other posts. I think that’s fine but it’s weird to turn up as Mariah Carey to your picnic wedding

I think the OP doesn’t have to martyr herself to feed her guests at the level you consider appropriate. She’s getting married. Someone has offered to buy her a dress and the one she likes is £1000. She’s really under no obligation to say ‘Spend the £1000 on food, Mum. I will nobly get married in a secondhand binbag so that my guests not have the bother of bringing a plate of food to a low-key picnic.’

I just think it’s in bad taste and poor form to accept the £1000 dress and not look after your guests. It just doesn’t really match up.
like spending tons on your hair and make up and then taking your wedding guests to McDonald’s. It would be better to even it out a bit more- have a £200 dress and use the money towards the wedding. Can you explain it to your parents?

i hired my dress for £300 and we had a £12k wedding. If my dress had been £1000 it would have been close to 10% of the whole day which I think is a bit me me me. Guests can’t eat your dress! Food is more important

Also look at local church halls; they might be cheaper. Some Churches (Methodist) don't allow alcohol on the premises, so this would cut down on your costs too.

We got married in a baptist church (so donation rather than CoE fees but I was a regular). Buffet in the attached hall for 50. Still cost £600 in catering 18 years ago.

I would have no qualms in asking family to bring an (easy) plate in lieu of gifts and providing soem
food and drinks yourself.

Registry wedding plus a village hall or celebration at home.

We went to a "bring a dish" wedding reception in a church hall a few years ago. B&G were longstanding members of the congregations and got the hall for free. But you could try a picnic in a park it Bea h is you don't have the funds to hire anywhere.

Can you hire somewhere that allows a buffet, and just keep it simple?

Not really. It simplifies things legally.

Rather pointless to get married after kids, house, etc

Church halls around me (very expensive part of the country) are as low as £15 per hour. Some are grotty but others are nice, would be a fair bit of work to decorate them. Pp mentioned a bouncy castle, you can get wedding themed ones. Approx £100 for that round here.

I just got a normal dress for my wedding, and had it altered to fit perfect. Maybe you could ask your parents for a cheaper dress and a contribution to some of the other costs? I also went to a department store and got them to teach me how to apply makeup properly so no need for a professional.

The cheapest way of getting married is the no frills version which costs about £60 but you are only allowed 2 witnesses (I presume these would have to be adults), no guests or photos. I'm surprised how many people haven't heard of that.

We got married in February. A sea front venue gave us free exclusive hire for the day as trade is slow in February, and we did a hot buffet for food. We paid for one glass of prosecco on arrival. Married in the registry office. Had sixty guests, including outfits everything came in at £2400. My two toddlers brought the rings up in the registry office.

Agree.

We did this - cost us around £400 at the local registry. Took the kids as witnesses and it was done in 15 minutes.

Having the party is the expense.

Try a village hall? You can make them look super pretty with minimal cost.

Don’t do a sit down meal. Much cheaper, and much more sociable, to have a buffet. If your family are all up for it you could ask everyone to bring a plate and self cater without having to do everything yourselves. The important thing is the company, not how fancy the food is.

JJs House. Cheap, can be made to measure and they have plus size models as well if you're it skinny. My dress cost £300 and then I spend £75 having it altered to add in some colour.

https://www.jjshouse.com/?srsltid=AfmBOorUKz_AOkAkAMTL4D1SoNWYd7eo8FEymSjXDgSOGZPi3oMsxYul

Can you discuss this with them? Ask if they would use the difference from a cheaper dress to help pay for the wedding?

I've been to a couple of lovely weddings which were a simple church ceremony and then people brought either lasagne, veg lasagne or a pudding per family.

Have a miceowedding with the kids and then have a meal with the family after.

Somewhere like this would be perfect https://www.theloveshackweddings.co.uk/

How do you have a wedding dress when you haven't even worked out what kind of wedding you are having?

Why can't she be a flower girl at a small registry office do?

@Rendall22if things really are tight , just go and get married. Do a reception later.

We did this. Married in register office (with just one witness from each side) then big party.We were lucky enough to be able to use a field for free and borrow a very tatty marquee - though in the end it was fine, in retrospect a church hall might have been an investment. But yeah, we bought some booze and strawberries and paper cups/plastic beakers and all the guests brought a salad or some cheese or cakes etc. It was great fun!