To be annoyed my husband told his work colleagues about my operation

Actually if I was having a hysterectomy (which I'm not) I'm not sure why that's more important to know?

Different operations place different demands on family. When I had my wisdom tooth removed DH was needed to pick me up afterwards and then went back to work. When I had reconstructive shoulder surgery he had to be home for 2 weeks to care for me.

But maybe the group chat already existed and he just added this info

It's a betrayal.

Get on that group chat and tell them about his tiny dick and premature ejaculation.

I bit of a gaff on his part
I would focus on the kind gesture from work and not get too het up about it

are you deflecting your angst about the op onto this annoyance ?

I'd be furious. It's none of their business.

Well he's thoughtless and uncaring really (leaving you to bake a cake ffs)

Is he looking for sympathy?

I’m currently in the middle of a medical thing. It involves anatomy that one doesn’t normally discuss in the workplace. My coworkers don’t know anything except that I’m on leave for a medical thing.. My husband’s coworkers, on the other hand, know more about my hoohaw than any coworker should know.

I’ve also not told my family because of ‘reasons’

None of this weird in context and doesn’t bother me at all.

Unless it's something embarrassing then I don't get the issue?
If you're having a third nipple removed or having a colostomy bag fitted and would rather others not know for example I'd understand.
But if it's something like a knee operation or keyhole surgery for an intestinal or ovarian cyst or fibroid issue etc then I don't see the issue?

Edit - not that either of those are inherently embarrassing, but they are things I would personally not want to necessarily share with everyone, whereas I'd assume noone would find general operations embarrassing in the same way?

As someone who has had a lot of surgeries i feel it's harder on people closer to me then it is on me so I think its unfair to not allow him to talk about it

I told my colleagues about my DHs operation as I said I had time off coming and they asked if I was doing something nice. DH didn’t care.

I have told my work colleagues about my DPs health issues. It meant that they were flexible re hours and covering for me when I was trying to support him and visit him in hospital. He was really thankful for the support they gave me so that I could support him and he really appreciated their well wishes

YANBU but also as someone who has a DH with a chronic health condition, it is nice to have support and some outside people to chat through your anxieties and concerns without the politics and emotions that come from talking to family. And to leverage any support he might need at work. Maybe assume it was coming from a good place even though it is annoying.

Sorry you are having this op, OP. I hope it goes well.

He set up a group chat to discuss your operation? What’s it called? Does he talk about anything but that in there? Will he be providing real time updates?

Oh I thought you meant which hospital it was, and thought that was odd enough.

Even odder that he/she wants to know which body part!! What a complete weirdo.

Why does your H feel your medical information should be out there for randoms to know about?! I do not understand people on this thread making excuses for his lack of confidentiality about your private info.

The whole group chat thing is weird. It's tricky though when you're the type of person who just answers questions with what's in your head when the question is asked. I had an op last year and had to rearrange work appointments (self-employed) but also didn't know how long I would be off for, so I ended up telling a lot of clients that their appointments may be affected by my op. And everyone asked what I was having done. Not to be nosy; it was just the way people expressed concern - "oh no, what's wrong" type thing. I had to work out how to deflect it without sounding too "none your business" because I was having a fibroid embolisation, and telling everyone about my malfunctioning reproductive system was just a bit too much. Especially because not everyone knows what it is. The look of horror passing over a man's face when he realises he has just asked a woman he doesn't know very well to explain about her lady bits is quite something 😂

Tell your work colleagues he’s impotent, or getting tested for it, he won’t share your personal details again

It’s the group chat that I would fine weird. I can’t quite imagine one of my work colleagues adding me to a chat about their partner’s operation. Incredibly unprofessional.

Why she can't be that unwell of she'd be sending him out to get a cake from Asda like most of us do.

We all have different ways of coping.

Men are being encouraged to open up. The biggest killer of men under 50 in the UK is suicide 😔

Male industries are encouraging people to ask if they see a colleague who's down, what's up. Courses on how to start the conversation. Mates in Mind and all that stuff.

Work colleagues can be a huge emotional support to some people. I don't understand why you are making him keep this a secret.

I cannot give a shiny shit about how a man managed his internal stress about his wife’s operation when he’s also gone off and left the woman recovering from an op to do the chores and party prep and baking the next day. It’s a really simple rule: first, be a decent person. Second, I’ll care about how you’re going. (Yes obviously sometimes 1 is closely linked to 2- not here though)

It looks like he hasn't listened as you didn’t want people to know. It’s hard to know if he needed to offload, is he worried about you or did he overshare. Telling work needs to be done sometimes but some people like drama/attention if that’s the case he wasn’t thinking of how you would feel.

may he has not told his family because that would be a phone call, but in the office it’s chat. I would take comfort that he had a support network while you was ill

What headspace, the one that made him go to bed and left his wife to do all the work?

Totally get where you are coming from. I am an animal that likes to hide away and lick my wounds. Have had major surgery in the past and told only my dh and my Mum. Mum then told everyone, neighbours, siblings, cousins etc. My dsil even posted about it on Facebook. The next time I had major surgery only my dh knew. Just don't need/want the sad faces and sympathy or the added guilt of upsetting others. We are all different and he should have respected your wishes. It sounds like he quite liked the added attention he got from your op or I maybe being unkind and he was worried and needed the support.

Are they one of those ‘were all a big family’ teams? They’re the worst