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AIBU?

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Original poster

Banging in the ceiling noise sensitive neighbours.

40 replies

Sunshinemornings · 12/04/2025 09:48

Name changed for this. We have moved into a new property just a few weeks ago. We have got 2 children who are very young. The very first night we moved in (less than 3 hours) we got a letter through the door from downstairs neighbours claiming we make so much noise it stops them from enjoying their life. I went to introduce myself was very friendly and explained that we only just moved in and since nobody was living in the flat in the past 2 months at least it was understandable that it will be noisier now. The flat is a new building time of flat with carpets in the bedrooms and nowhere else. We had to spend all our money to move here so havent got anything spare at the moment for 'sound proofing ' etc but getting a few rugs is on our priority list. There are lots of families in the property and lots of children.

One of our children who is 7 stomps slightly when he walks it gets worser when he is rushing or angry. We always remind him not to do that and to use gentle feet. Each time he been doing that lately our neighbours bang the ceiling with some stick which leads to him getting scared and having a tantrum. They then bang even more because he is crying. Kids are usually in a great routine and are asleep from 20 pm till 7 am. During school days they are also away till 17 (after school classes).

Neighbours bang every time they play on the carpet after school from 17.30 till 18.30. They do argue with each other some times or drop things by accident but we remind them that they need to use quite voices etc as soon as possible so we do parent and not leave them to shout for long. However, our neighbours are very unhappy with the sole fact that we live there and I am worried about the steps they can take to kick us out. They also rent but appear to be very noise sensitive.

We have also got fire doors in the property that slam instead of closing every time anyone is slightly not careful enough to hold it. We use doorstoppers and sometimes they come off producing more noise. I have become paranoid about the living noise we make and feel for the neighbours but also know that we are not doing it on purpouse, kids dont play football or ride anything in the house but of course are not angels and can accidently jump off the bunk bed etc and we tell them immediately not to do that but the banging starts . I just feel terrified for when they will have holidays or playdates and there will be more noise as I just cant stop them from making it, I can only deal with the noise they already made etc.

Kids are 5 and 7. AIBU to feel like we should also be allowed to be able to enjoy our life in the flat?

OP posts:
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TotHappy · 13/04/2025 12:56

So the landlord evicted them rather than just put carpet down?! Sounds like it was the landlord's fault!

LittleCharlotte · 12/04/2025 18:35

HundredMilesAnHour · 12/04/2025 16:06

I don’t particularly agree with this. My next door neighbours (who are/were lovely) got so fed up of the noise from the flat above them (which had laminate flooring and a family with 2 toddlers who then moved in) that they left at their end of their tenancy. They said the noise was unbearable. And I believe them given how much noise the family when they were in the communal areas. They had made numerous complaints and the owner/landlord of the flat above initially refused to do anything about it and it made them so miserable. My neighbours moved out as soon as they could (I’m gutted as they were such good neighbours). In the end the landlord of the noisy family above evicted them as he was threatened with legal action by the freeholder as laminate flooring without freeholder permission was a breach of his lease and the owner of the flat below was willing to take it to court as the racket from upstairs was preventing him finding new tenants.

Show quote history

Presumably that family weren't doing their best to keep the noise down though and your nice neighbours hadn't threatened them within hours of their moving in.

LittleCharlotte · 12/04/2025 18:34

Newmeagain · 12/04/2025 16:42

No advice but this is such a common problem. I have been in both positions - being complained about by a downstairs neighbour, but also at the receiving end of noise from upstairs. Both situations are miserable. This is of no help but this is why I will never live in a flat in the U.K. - anything is preferable.

You're in an extremely privileged position. Not many people have such a choice. I've lived in flats and only had one or two difficult situations. Most people are considerate and want to be decent neighbours.

OP I think if they bang again (which they will) you can politely but firmly tell them you've taken legal advice and they cannot expect complete silence from their neighbours, and they are harassing you. You are entitled to "quiet enjoyment" of your flat which does not mean complete silence, so if they bang one more time you will be taking action. You do need to follow through on this though.

I suspect they are getting a real kick out of making you unhappy because they sound bloody horrible people. Don't let them bully you. Enjoy your new home and don't be afraid to take this up with your landlord and/or the council. I would also keep a log of all "bangs" and record them with your phone if you can.

Nsky62 · 12/04/2025 18:00

Newmeagain · 12/04/2025 16:42

No advice but this is such a common problem. I have been in both positions - being complained about by a downstairs neighbour, but also at the receiving end of noise from upstairs. Both situations are miserable. This is of no help but this is why I will never live in a flat in the U.K. - anything is preferable.

I had a noisy couple, I’m mid terrace, I often left for work at 4.30am, and was quiet, on my days off they banged their door at , 8am, and threatened to ring their doorbell at 4.30, in return, cat and I wanted peace, luckily they left soon after

crumblingschools · 12/04/2025 17:39

Record the banging. Make notes of when they do it

Lostinthewoods8 · 12/04/2025 17:29

I had this where I lived previously, they had issue with my children and my neighbours children. We were out majority of the time. But they would bang on the walls and wrote letters. They kept knocking on the door to moan about the children. Who actually were pretty quiet kid's.

In the end I spoke to the landlord and I actually contacted the police as it was becoming a harassment issue. The police ended up giving them a warning as their behaviour was antisocial.

suburburban · 12/04/2025 17:27

Bang back when they bang the ceiling. They are being mean especially when you are trying hard to be considerate

we have neighbours next door who are noisy with young dc but I try to ignore it.

Katemax82 · 12/04/2025 17:22

Sunshinemornings · 12/04/2025 14:26

My neighbours are not English too and how is it even relevant ?

Show quote history

My sister had a neighbour who lived in the flat below her who was not English and gave my sister absolute hell because of family noise

Original poster
Sunshinemornings · 12/04/2025 17:17

Newmeagain · 12/04/2025 16:42

No advice but this is such a common problem. I have been in both positions - being complained about by a downstairs neighbour, but also at the receiving end of noise from upstairs. Both situations are miserable. This is of no help but this is why I will never live in a flat in the U.K. - anything is preferable.

We have no other options at the moment as we have only started saving up for a house deposit and had to move because of the previous flat being sold. This flat works for us and we can also hear people walking up and down upstairs but we dont pay attention to it as its part of everyday life.

OP posts:
Newmeagain · 12/04/2025 16:42

No advice but this is such a common problem. I have been in both positions - being complained about by a downstairs neighbour, but also at the receiving end of noise from upstairs. Both situations are miserable. This is of no help but this is why I will never live in a flat in the U.K. - anything is preferable.

Ener · 12/04/2025 16:30

Record them banging and report them. Every time.

HundredMilesAnHour · 12/04/2025 16:06

MissUltraViolet · 12/04/2025 14:37

Honestly? I’d get your complaint in first. They are trying to intimidate you and your children.

You're not being anti-social, nobody they complain to will be bothered about general household day time noise. Authorities barely do anything about actual anti-social behaviour after 11pm let alone anything else.

Be mindful of course, get rugs ASAP, but don’t be bullied into keeping your children silent.

I don’t particularly agree with this. My next door neighbours (who are/were lovely) got so fed up of the noise from the flat above them (which had laminate flooring and a family with 2 toddlers who then moved in) that they left at their end of their tenancy. They said the noise was unbearable. And I believe them given how much noise the family when they were in the communal areas. They had made numerous complaints and the owner/landlord of the flat above initially refused to do anything about it and it made them so miserable. My neighbours moved out as soon as they could (I’m gutted as they were such good neighbours). In the end the landlord of the noisy family above evicted them as he was threatened with legal action by the freeholder as laminate flooring without freeholder permission was a breach of his lease and the owner of the flat below was willing to take it to court as the racket from upstairs was preventing him finding new tenants.

frogspawn15 · 12/04/2025 16:06

This is probably awful advice but I’d stand up to them and tell them firmly exactly what you’ve said here. I’d also say you’re doing absolutely everything in your power to be as quiet as possible including leaving the house, and if they don’t pipe down and leave you alone then your attitude will change from being as quiet and complaint as possible, to retaliation and you will meet them exactly where they are, being petty little bullies that intimidate others in their own home. Some people are just awful bullies and need to be put back in their place.

Original poster
Sunshinemornings · 12/04/2025 15:58

Its the fact that they dont even wait for us to resolve any situation such as a child starting to have a tantrum, dropping something. We are not leaving them for hours to kick something or jump we come in as soon as they start making any noise to remind them but the banging is instant.

I appreciate people not wanting to live about families with kids. We are normally all out of the house from 7 am till 17 and want to just let our kids play in the room whilst we finish our dinner. I am just worried that they can twist it all around and we will need to move again

OP posts:
Teacaketravesty · 12/04/2025 15:55

They’re bullying you. Stand up to them. The advice to tell them in a polite note that this harassment must stop, you are making normal living sounds, is good imo. If they continue, report them. And don’t pressure your children to be too quiet: they matter too.

Smoothandsmooth · 12/04/2025 15:55

Follow previous posters advice and make a complaint yourself. I don’t think the neighbours will get any better and they are bullying you.

Original poster
Sunshinemornings · 12/04/2025 15:47

Vinvertebrate · 12/04/2025 15:37

This is obviously acceptable family noise and you are doing nothing wrong, but do think about carpeting the rest of the flat. It’s hard to overstate just how noisy ordinary steps are in a downstairs flat when there are no carpets. Rugs don’t cut it - proper underlay and carpet will help.

As I said we are not actually in a position to pay for it at the moment we can only ask the landlord who will most likely say no. They mostly bang on the ceiling in our kids bedroom (which is also their bedroom) and its the room that has got the carpet . I cant predict when my children will drop something or trip over as I can only remind them and parent after they actually make the noise however the neighbours expect me somehow to be able to control every step my kids make and it is affecting me . Today I took my kids to the park at 9 am for 3 hours as they dropped a water bottle on the floor at 8.50 and our neighbours banged 10 times afterwards.

OP posts:
myplace · 12/04/2025 15:47

There are small things you can do that help- like children being barefoot rather than in firm shoes. That really helps with the floor slapping.

DH and DS1 both slap the floor as they walk.

It’s probably worth playing games with them about tiptoeing (grandmother’s footsteps?) and being very very quiet (sleeping lions and hide and seek). Not to keep them quiet, but to help them learn how to control their bodies and moderate their volume. I really wish DH’s mum had with him 🤣😅

The rubber playmats a PP mentioned are great, especially when you get to the ‘tipping Lego out’ phase of life.

XWKD · 12/04/2025 15:42

If they live in a flat, they have to deal with reasonable noise from upstairs neighbours. It sounds like you're trying to be reasonable.

Vinvertebrate · 12/04/2025 15:37

This is obviously acceptable family noise and you are doing nothing wrong, but do think about carpeting the rest of the flat. It’s hard to overstate just how noisy ordinary steps are in a downstairs flat when there are no carpets. Rugs don’t cut it - proper underlay and carpet will help.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 12/04/2025 15:32

@Sunshinemornings you are within the acceptable daytime noise!! they are obviously just moaners. dont worry about it!

Whoarethoseguys · 12/04/2025 14:46

HundredMilesAnHour · 12/04/2025 13:47

Why would you move into an upstairs flat with mainly hard floors when you have 2 young children? That’s asking for trouble with the downstairs neighbours to be frank.

Some people have no choice. But you could just as easily say why do people who don't like noise live in a downstairs flat?

TwoBlueFish · 12/04/2025 14:42

I think you can turn it back on them. Short polite note saying you are making normal family noise and they are harassing you by banging on the ceiling. Keep a log and if they persist then report them to the landlord (if it’s the same landlord) or to the council https://www.gov.uk/how-to-resolve-neighbour-disputes

Resolving neighbour disputes

Disputes with neighbours - noisy neighbours, barking dogs, statutory nuisances, high hedges, mediation and when your council can step in

https://www.gov.uk/how-to-resolve-neighbour-disputes

Londonwaiting · 12/04/2025 14:41

To be clear OP, they are harassing you and you can report them to the Council, or, if you both have an RSL landlord, to them.

LittleCharlotte · 12/04/2025 14:37

You poor things. Your neighbours are bullying you. Please don't let them scare you into moving or not feeling comfortable in your own home. Live with consideration but not obsessional care and if your neighbours continue to give you grief report them to the landlord. Their behaviour is far more unreasonable than yours especially given they were complaining within hours of you moving in!

I'm really sorry. You don't have to put up with this. I think you've tried being friendly and they're enjoying being cruel to you. As someone who dealt with noisy neighbours, you're just living there. I would complain to the council/landlord about their behaviour to be honest. People cannot live in silence. If they want to they should get somewhere detached.

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