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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how some people making looking so normal so good?

478 replies

Upsetbetty · 12/04/2025 07:40

I’m genuinely baffled, yesterday at work one of the women came in and I was blown away as I am most days. It was Friday so she was dressed a bit more casual. She only had on a pair of mom jeans, and a plain crewneck jumper, but it was to put togetherness that I couldn’t get over. Underneath her jumper, she had a long white sleeve top and the neck of the top could JUST be seen popping up from her jumper, she rolled up her jumper sleeves so you could see the white sleeves underneath, she had a pair of Adidas sambas on. It just looked so perfectly put together and thought out yet so simple at the same time. If I tried to emulate that I would look scruffy!! Just how does she do it? Anyone have any insight? I asked her and she told me where she got said items but I supppse it’s the fit that worked so well.

OP posts:
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redpaperstar · 13/04/2025 07:15

Catsandcannedbeans · 12/04/2025 15:29

I’ve lots a lot of weight, changed a lot of things about myself and these are the things I’ve consistently got the most compliments on:

  • Getting my teeth whitened - I’ve always had straight teeth, but they were yellow. Smoking, coffee, and genetics. Quit smoking, saved all my ciggie money and got them whitened. People kept complimenting me and they couldn’t put their finger on what I’d done. Genuinely wish I’d done it earlier. If I could go back I’d have had it done as soon as I had a spare bit of money.
  • Getting a hair routine that actually works. I’ve got curly hair and it’s quite wild and big. Recently, my niece has been watching a lot of tick toks as she has similar hair, and she told me basically I’ve been doing my hair wrong. Normally I wouldn’t take that from a 16 year old, but her hair looked great so I just took her advice. It’s a lot shinier now and less frizzy, it also lasts for days. That’s probably what I got the most compliments on.
  • Changed from black eyeliner to brown.
  • Stopped dying my hair and went back to natural colour.
  • Getting my eyebrows professionally done - I don’t pay anymore because I can do it myself and maintain the shape she gave me, but this was such a game changer.
It’s weird, but the little changes got more attention than the big ones. Also, I think staying close to your natural colouring does people a lot of favours. Getting your teeth whitened is probably the easiest one imo. Never thought I cared I had yellow teeth until I saw my pearly whites. Also all these things make it easier to just get up and go. Be high maintenance to be low maintenance kind of thing.

I’m interested in the curly hair advice please! I don’t use tiktok.

measureofmydreams · 13/04/2025 07:13

Careerdecisions · 12/04/2025 08:27

I think the fit is really important too, especially for those of us who are a bit shorter. I often find tops and bottoms sit too long on me and make me look shorter and dumpier than they would if they went in and out and stopped at the right places on my body.

I agree, I'm 5ft 4ins tall and short bodied. I regularly hem tops to make them a bit shorter. I've read about the 1/3 2/3 proportion rule where that's the split (can be reversed) - I'm practising. I hope I'm making sense here😀

CannotWaitForSummervibes · 13/04/2025 03:16

Good quality clothes, excellent fit, ironing cloths and ensuring hair is properly styled.

Jumpingthruhoops · 13/04/2025 01:32

Changeeman · 12/04/2025 08:12

The key normally is in "styling" the outfit, rather than just wearing the clothes.

So wearing the jeans, jumper and trainers - but having the tshirt peeking underneath, wearing the right socks with the trainers, having complimentary jewellery to finish the outfit off and neat hair/makeup will make a huge difference to how the clothes look.

Exactly this. It's about styling Vs wearing.
I've always been 'well turned out' (apparently!) but, my goodness, I've learned SO much more since Instagram came along.
I now apply pretty much all the aforementioned 'tips' where appropriate and I definitely look even more put together. As they say, the devil is in the detail...

Epli · 13/04/2025 00:57

Have you heard about Kibbie types? They helped me understand why I look frumpy in flowy, romantic dresses but any turtleneck or boyfriend shirt is perfect.

BridgetRandomfuck · 13/04/2025 00:27

I think I am one of these people - I often get complimented on my outfits or people tell me I look nice. However I probably put a lot more effort into it than you would think, or even than I would like! I go into work about once a week, and plan my outfit a day or two in advance. I get quite anxious about it, and worry if it’s going to be ok (I have ASD and I think it’s one of my obsessions). I try to look current, but also only wear stuff that will suit me rather than trying the latest trend. It helps that I am tall, 5’9”, and relatively slim, a size 12 with a balanced figure. I’ve purged my wardrobe of cheap stuff, my basics are now Whistles, Cos, Massimo Dutti, & Other Stories and similar - this doesn’t have to be expensive, I get most of my stuff from charity shops and Vinted. I also like semi-designer like Claudie Pierlot, Sandro, Ganni, etc, which I think helps you stand out from the crowd. A good bag and pair of shoes does wonders, and classy, simple jewellery. I’ve been lucky in the charity shops and own several Max Mara coats - a great coat really pulls your outfit together. But all this takes effort - I’m in charity shops several times a week and haunt Vinted.

The bane of my life is my hair though! I have utterly crap hair, thin and fine, I’d love a glossy mane, and it can make you look great even when other things are lacking. Perhaps I’m compensating for my hair! It’s usually pulled back in a pony tail as it will look awful approximately ten minutes after blow drying. But I suppose you can’t have everything, and I’m very grateful for what I do have.

PassingStranger · 13/04/2025 00:27

A tan always look nice.
No tattoos looks better too

utterexasperation · 13/04/2025 00:19

Slim doesn't always do it though - one of the worst dressed women I ever knew was slim.

HelloVeraPlant · 12/04/2025 23:57

Self awareness, finally finding your style and having the same set of outfits that you rotate between and as others have said being confident to pull off what you are wearing.

Arraminta · 12/04/2025 22:47

For my Aunt's 80th birthday she rocked a full black tulle skirt, worn with a fitted leather jacket and boots. She looked amazing. Probably helps that she was a model in the 1960s and is still 5ft 9 and slender.

NattyTurtle59 · 12/04/2025 22:37

SoScarletItWas · 12/04/2025 17:01

I’m going to try it.

I live in fine knit crew neck jumpers in winter and wear a low vest/cami/thermal top underneath. I am super pale and I love black and dark navy against my skin and never liked how white looks on me. But perhaps a peep is acceptable…

My mother the other day had wide leg jeans, a navy jumper with shocking pink T shirt peeping out and she looked amazing. She is also 80 so I hope I inherited some of her style genes!

Your mum sounds fabulous! My 80 year old neighbour somehow always manages to look much more put together than I do.

Christine1998 · 12/04/2025 21:40

Gwenhwyfar · 12/04/2025 10:24

Yes, clothes aren't made for short people so they never look quite right. Petite doesn't work on me either because I'm not small all over - I've got short legs but normal sized arms.

I’m just short all over 😂 it’s be a game changer for me finding a local lady that alters everything for me a very reasonable price.

Christine1998 · 12/04/2025 21:38

I’m just short all over and petite are sometimes still too long 🙈 it was a game changer for me finding a local lady that alter everything for me at a good price. 😆

BunnyLake · 12/04/2025 20:59

The only time I’ve ever felt and looked put together is when I was on holiday in hot countries. I always put much more effort into my clothes, I’d accessorise with nice jewellery and my hair had lots of body due to seawater and sun. Once back home I’d be back to my more un-put together look.

AnotherEmma · 12/04/2025 20:49

bouncydog · 12/04/2025 11:56

Well I iron everything, wear levi jeans and am 5’2” and size 8-10. But I’m a 34D and short waisted so I just can’t achieve the look I want to as shirts get pulled out of jeans, there are very limited petite blazers to buy and my cashmere sweaters are just that bit too long!

If you're a size 8-10 your bra band size cannot possibly be 34. You're more likely to be a 28 or 30. Use the boob or bust method to measure yourself: https://www.booborbust.com/
Or get measured at Bravissimo.

Honestly, a properly fitted bra will make you look so much better, it's actually slimming, and will transform the look of your tops and dresses.

Boob or Bust | Bra Measuring Advice

https://www.booborbust.com

Papyrophile · 12/04/2025 20:46

I love clothes but having bought a lot for the events I don't attend, I made a conscious decision to buy clothes for my real life, now. So I wear jeans and a sweater, pretty much every day. To walk the dog and buy groceries. I wear shorts in summer, and a skirt occasionally. So I spend my clothes budget on the nicest best-fitting jeans. I buy about one pair annually, and expect to get 8 years wear out of each pair, so I don't buy anything radically fashionable. And I buy a jersey each year for the fashionable shape. And while I know this will have many people spitting tacks, I just brought home this year's cashmere sweater, which I bought half price in the sale and paid for over two months, but it still cost most of my month's spending money.

Arraminta · 12/04/2025 20:36

AnotherEmma · 12/04/2025 18:43

I think it's a pretty simple formula tbh.

Firstly and most importantly you have to be slim. You said she's a size 10, that's slim.
(I never look chic or stylish as I'm far too overweight.)

Secondly if someone is naturally attractive that obviously helps.

Thirdly being well groomed; clean well cut hair, tidy (but not overly "done") eyebrows, light and natural make up, clean and tidy nails (not bitten, not fake) with no polish or neutral polish - not chipped.

Lastly, simple clothes that fit properly.

Edited

Yep, have to agree. Be slim. That solves 75% of your problems instantly. When I was 3 stones heavier and wore a simple t-shirt, jeans and a nice belt I just looked frumpy. Now as a slender size 10 when I wear a simple t-shirt, jeans and a nice belt it looks chic.

Other than that it's having the spare cash (and free time) to pamper yourself. Now I'm an affluent Empty Nester I am much polished with regular pedicures, waxing, manicures, facials. Back when our DDs were much younger I was more unkempt, tired and time poor.

dodgyplant · 12/04/2025 20:13

I'd love somebody to design clothes for a 5 foot, size 14 ish 70 year old. All boobs and bum.

As if.

StrangerThings1 · 12/04/2025 20:02

Upsetbetty · 12/04/2025 20:00

Yes she is

That helps a lot

Upsetbetty · 12/04/2025 20:00

StrangerThings1 · 12/04/2025 18:42

Is she pretty aswell

Yes she is

OP posts:
Upsetbetty · 12/04/2025 20:00

Stepfordian · 12/04/2025 19:16

I think it’s money too, not necessarily for clothes but if you can pay someone else to clean your house and for afterschool club, and for manicures and regular hair cuts then you can keep yourself looking tidier because you’re not running around from place to place.

Well she’s a divorced single parent so that doesn’t apply to her. 50:50 custody though, so she has some time i suppose

OP posts:
Stepfordian · 12/04/2025 19:16

I think it’s money too, not necessarily for clothes but if you can pay someone else to clean your house and for afterschool club, and for manicures and regular hair cuts then you can keep yourself looking tidier because you’re not running around from place to place.

waffleyversatile1 · 12/04/2025 19:13

isthismylifenow · 12/04/2025 08:14

There have been so many posts on here over the years about how proud people are that they don't iron, and no-one can tell. Or no-one cares etc.

But it is very noticeable to me, and it can make or break an outfit imo.

It is just the final touch to looking polished.

100% agree. Ironing clothes changes an outfit.

Bambootrees · 12/04/2025 18:45

I think is something you are born with, a good eye for detail, and you also have to invest time on it.

AnotherEmma · 12/04/2025 18:43

I think it's a pretty simple formula tbh.

Firstly and most importantly you have to be slim. You said she's a size 10, that's slim.
(I never look chic or stylish as I'm far too overweight.)

Secondly if someone is naturally attractive that obviously helps.

Thirdly being well groomed; clean well cut hair, tidy (but not overly "done") eyebrows, light and natural make up, clean and tidy nails (not bitten, not fake) with no polish or neutral polish - not chipped.

Lastly, simple clothes that fit properly.

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