To ask how some people making looking so normal so good?

I often think this, but I've just had a sleeve and have a lot of weight to lose, but I'm also really short. I know if I dressed like that, I would look frumpy and scruffy. So, I think it's about finding your own niche of 'Put togetherness'. Find what fits you well, Google your shape, find something you're comfy in and comfy with. Dress your own togetherness

There's a childminder at a playgroup like this. She wears a merino wool funnel neck jumper and her jeans are bootcut. Hair in messy pony tail. I've concluded she is (a) a size 6 (b) reasonably well off and (c) quite beautiful which is why my chubby size 16 average looks average wage won't cut it in the same outfit 😅

Just to add to the slim point. Also, people with great hair, and good skin.
I think hair on a woman is the most essential point, it's impossible to look great with ratty hair.
But thick, shiny hair, good skin (especially a bit golden), and a slim body are key.

I know exactly what you mean, I feel the same. I'm 4"11, huge chest and chunky calves. When I was in my late teens and a 90's size 8, I think I used to look good. But now I'm 49 and more a size 16, I look hideous and or scruffy in pretty much everything 🙃 And I really can't do trainers!

I think it’s about the small details . Like the white t shirt just makes an outfit look more put together .
I think also having neat polished nails , hair that isn’t too long , clean shoes and a pop of jewellery like a simple chain or earrings . All the small details just combine to make you look more together .
I also try to match items . For instance one pair of sambas I have have burgundy stripes so I try to wear something else that is burgundy along with them .
none of my clothes are designer except trainers but I do pay attention to detail . I’m not tall or slim but I’m often told that I look stylish . I never think I do though. I always see other ladies and wish I looked more like them !

I've downloaded the wardrobe app and goodness, it's been an eye opener.

I've also realised I need to invest in a full length mirror 🙃

I started reading this thread yesterday so probably it affected how much attention I paid to my choices but……

I went for lunch and 3 people, 2 of them complete strangers, commented positively on my outfit.

I was wearing….

a cheap blouse from New Look, BUT it had been recommended by a fashion editor of a prominent daily newspaper.

an ancient pair of cargo pants from a High St brand, BUT they were from the petite range (I’m 5ft 2)

my hair badly needs a cut and colour BUT it was freshly washed and blow dried

sandals from a high street chain BUT that are the perfect height for me so I walk well in them plus I think they look fabulous

Also, my 25 yr old son told me I looked great before I left home (which I genuinely think he has only done maybe once before) so I chose to believe him, carried myself well so maybe gave off a confident, happy aura.

Walking round our local town today, I’ve really paid attention to women who I am drawn to visually and the white t shirt appeared more than once.

I really like colour but it was the white / muted beige outfits that stood out as looking most stylish.

What's the app? That looks addictive!

I’m small and slim. I think it’s more the slim than the height

I have been heavier and lighter and it’s so much easier to look put together when slim.

@Upsetbetty where is the white shirt from please?

I marvel at these types of women all the time! Just yesterday I was at a kids party and there was a woman there in leopard print trousers which showed her socks, adidas sambas, a slouchy t shirt tucked into the trousers and hair just in an effortless low bun. She looked fantastic. If I dressed like that I would look a complete mess but I don’t know why

https://theconceptwardrobe.com/kibbe-body-types/the-kibbe-body-type-test

It's kibbe body types - it's a theory around what suits different body shapes.

I think it’s about finding your style isn’t it? It took me until my 30s. Up until then, sometimes I looked good but a lot of the times I’d miss the mark.
Full disclaimer, I am slim, short but with long legs.

I wear black, navy, dark grey or white. I have the odd baby pink and baby blue top. I am very pale and found I look best in these colours.
I go for simple in general. I’ve just got ready to go out for lunch and have on black high waist skinny jeans with a slightly slouch black thin knit jumper. I was going to wear a dark brown belt and my dark brown fly London boots but have settled on black belt with silver hardware and have matched with my stainless steel bracelet and necklace. I’ll wear with my black fly London boots.

I plan my outfits in my head and then try them out. I also do the same for my home and style that for the seasons. So perhaps it’s a natural flair too? I have an eye for what looks good I think.

Can you enlighten me about these kibbie types! 😀

Basically before this I was just washing with the same shampoo as DP and blasting it with the hair dryer, or going to bed with wet hair (apparently going to bed with wet hair is not good).
So for start I got new shampoo and conditioner, also got a leave in. I got a brand called shae moisture (get it from TK maxx it’s much cheaper). Also, I detangle it with a comb in the shower, and then when I conditioner it I squish the conditioner in in a scrunching motion, wash it out while doing this (google “squish to condish). I then apply leave in conditioner. Then I stopped using my body towel and started using an old t shirt. My niece has a fancy micro fibre towel but I’m not really convinced on that. Squeeze the water out in the same squish/scrunching motion. Then gently wrap the towel or shirt around your head. Rubbing your hair with a towel causes frizz.
I got a diffuser, hover it above my freshly washed hair for a bit till it’s a bit dry, then diffuse (I looked on YouTube for a tutorial and just pick the woman who has hair the most like yours). Sometimes I apply gel, only if it’s humid tho.
My whole hair wash routine now takes a lot longer, and it’s hard to do when little people are running a muck, but it lasts up to 4 days. 5 at a push. I schedule my hair wash days for times DP can rangle and contain the kids. This bit sounds like silly advice, but trust me it’s important. Also now it’s actually kind of nice because it’s a bit more me time.
Sleeping in a silk bonnet is a game changer tho. Your husband and kids will probably laugh at you a bit, but it makes a huge difference and helps it last. I actually revoked this to everyone. Also don’t bother paying too much for this, they’re all the same. Mine was 3.99 from a local hair shop that sells extensions.
If you can, find a hair salon that does curly cuts. It is a bit more expensive, but wow it looks so much better than straight across and blunt like it used to look. They also give good advice and sell great products. For my birthday I’m going to get the gel my hair dresser uses and sells, it’s a bit expensive for now tho.
This may all be obvious to a lot of people, but my mum has pin straight hair and my dad is bald as a dolphin, so no one ever told me. Also DD and DS have very curly hair so I practice on them sometimes as well. It definitely made a difference from the first try, but now after like a year it’s made a big difference. My DD5/ hair is also super nice and much less damaged and frizzy than mine was at her age.

I think this might be a factor.

I am way more put together now that I am divorced and single. I look back at some photos of myself whilst married and think what on earth.

I honestly think it ties in with the cliche phrase of 'finding yourself', after being through something so traumatic. I also seemed to find what clothes suited me better, and as I had way less money, I definitely thought more about what I did buy.

I always like the idea of a "capsule" wardrobe. My problem is that I am not organised enough with the laundry and so would very quickly run out of clothes and I'd end up back in my leggings and hoody anyway 😂

That's some serious dedication OP and something I can only aspire to do one day 😂