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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how some people making looking so normal so good?

478 replies

Upsetbetty · 12/04/2025 07:40

I’m genuinely baffled, yesterday at work one of the women came in and I was blown away as I am most days. It was Friday so she was dressed a bit more casual. She only had on a pair of mom jeans, and a plain crewneck jumper, but it was to put togetherness that I couldn’t get over. Underneath her jumper, she had a long white sleeve top and the neck of the top could JUST be seen popping up from her jumper, she rolled up her jumper sleeves so you could see the white sleeves underneath, she had a pair of Adidas sambas on. It just looked so perfectly put together and thought out yet so simple at the same time. If I tried to emulate that I would look scruffy!! Just how does she do it? Anyone have any insight? I asked her and she told me where she got said items but I supppse it’s the fit that worked so well.

OP posts:
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Gwenhwyfar · 12/04/2025 09:15

Comedycook · 12/04/2025 08:13

Petite women look neater in clothes.

Not true, if by petite you mean short. It might be to do with the proportions, but personally I have a normal sized body with short legs and that does NOT look good in clothes. It's actually much more difficult to make an outfit work because everything falls on the wrong part of the body.

postcard · 12/04/2025 09:13

I think the secret is in ironing stuff. Obviously shirts, but also T-shirts, jersey dresses. Even some jumpers need it. I’m stating the obvious here but it’s taken me a long while to accept it and make the time for it.

stardust777 · 12/04/2025 09:13

I love the tips from this fashion influencer. Now it's just a case of putting it into practice 😅

stayathomer · 12/04/2025 09:10

I don’t think there’s a formula, I think you just are what you are, I think people who try to be what they’re not just honestly look like they’re playing dress up (from someone who has had to accept it after multiple’fails’)😅

Nannyfannybanny · 12/04/2025 09:08

The white t shirt peep,was shown recently in the Mail. I disagree that clothes have to be expensive to look good. Most of the fancy expensive brands are made in the same cheap sweatshops. I always thought tall, eldest DD is 6 ft, looks great in a tracksuit,I look like an extra for Little Britain! I am 5.1 and inch has gone with age, but legs long in comparison. I wear a standard leg length
I think a lot of it is....us, we're our own worst critics! We don't see ourselves as others do..I went out with a friend for Afternoon tea in a beach side hotel. The manager said how gorgeous and classy my jumper looked...it was Tu Sainsbury's, bought in the sale. Friends disabled autistic adult son, says it as it is,no filters,he's always saying how fabulous I look. Friend always looks amazing, she has short spiky in your face bright red hair (pushing 70) we both iron. She looks a million dollars when she walks her dog.

Stepfordian · 12/04/2025 09:06

Sharptonguedwoman · 12/04/2025 08:01

Perhaps her clothes are newish? The same outfit put together from clothes you've had in the wardrobe for years and scruffy trainers might not look so elegant.

I was going to say the same, new, ironed clothes always look better than stretched out ones that have been washed a few times. I also work with a woman like this who is about 5ft tall and must be a size 4, always looks immaculate (although a couple of times I have accidentally thought she was a child when I’ve walked up behind her, until I saw her face)

Coffeeishot · 12/04/2025 09:06

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 12/04/2025 07:46

Is she tall? Daft question, but all the people I see sporting the 'effortlessly casual' look are tall and slim.
It 5' 1", I just look dumpy in that get-up!

So would I, I do think some smaller but not slim women struggle to pull off that sort of look.

MananaPenelope · 12/04/2025 09:06

I agree with ironing, ironing with steam and sometimes starch too. I use spray starch on the front of my light coloured T shirts in particular. They’re generally from Cos and fairy thick cotton, but look like a crisp packet if I drive in them without starch.

LivesinLondon2000 · 12/04/2025 09:05

Upsetbetty · 12/04/2025 08:59

Most of her bits are next and m&s she likes simple and clean lines. No crazy patterns but yes to strips. She has naturally good hair and skin. She once told me she goes to the hairdresser once a year, her hair is very simple style, just parted in the middle, no highlights etc. she doesn’t get her nails done but they are always clean and not too long.

Then probably the clothes are always fairly new? I wear a fair bit of Next & M&S stuff too but I find that they don’t always retain that crisp, fresh look even I’m really careful about washing & ironing them.
The rest - skin & hair - just sounds like genetic good luck.
I agree with other posters that it does feel
like a ‘dark art’ if you don’t have it. I don’t have it either and I also love colour and pattern which rarely looks super chic

EnjoythemoneyJane · 12/04/2025 09:03

stardust777 · 12/04/2025 09:01

I'm guessing it's good: hair, eyebrows, teeth and skin.

Plus, wearing clothes (in good condition) and colours which flatter you. No creases in the clothes too.

Agree about the good foundations - hair, skin, teeth. Everyone I know who’s like this has those things in common, which definitely gives them a head start.

Doitrightnow · 12/04/2025 09:03

Upsetbetty · 12/04/2025 09:01

shape knowledge I don’t know. But she does wear very neutral and earthy tones, never reds or other bright colours

I agree with this. I wore black stuff for decades before realising it just makes me look like a washed out ghost. Too severe for me. It really doesn't suit DH or dc either - they look much better with a blue base and I look better with browns.

Iheartmysmart · 12/04/2025 09:03

I have a friend like this. She can put on a pair of jeans, t-shirt and trainers and look fab. I look like a sack of spuds in the same outfit. We’re both the same height more or less but she’s far more in proportion than me. I have huge boobs which make any outfit look rubbish on me.

stardust777 · 12/04/2025 09:02

Ooh yes, good posture helps too.

Doitrightnow · 12/04/2025 09:01

I would say it is -

  1. knowing what suits your body. I look good in most turtleneck jumpers, but awful in v-necks. For others, vice versa.
  2. really well fitting. I've had really flattering white shirts that are shaped exactly on my waist and look fab, but others that make me look like a shapeless sack.
  3. good fabrics. I think a high quality cashmere jumper will look better than a polyester jumper even if everything else is the same.
  4. confidence and posture of the wearer.
  5. if clothes have an "I'm new and expensive" vibe. Eg no faded knees on the jeans, ironed, clean, no dingy whites.
stardust777 · 12/04/2025 09:01

I'm guessing it's good: hair, eyebrows, teeth and skin.

Plus, wearing clothes (in good condition) and colours which flatter you. No creases in the clothes too.

Upsetbetty · 12/04/2025 09:01

Gundogday · 12/04/2025 08:57

Does she know her body shape and what colours suit her? It does make a difference.

shape knowledge I don’t know. But she does wear very neutral and earthy tones, never reds or other bright colours

OP posts:
Echobelly · 12/04/2025 09:00

I think people who look like that tend to be well groomed. It's not obvious they have no chipped nails and not a hair out of place but it's what makes them look chic rather than just unimaginative. I admire 'chic' but could never wear it myself because I'm far too lazy and i like colour and pattern too much.

EnjoythemoneyJane · 12/04/2025 08:59

Unfortunately it’s a dark art I’m afraid, OP, a secret superpower unavailable to most of us!

I disagree with PPs that it’s about your body type or how well clothes hang on you. It’s not as simple as just knowing what suits you or being able to put a nice outfit together (we can all do that, even if it’s a bit hit and miss).

Some people can just do that ‘well-dressed-and-impeccably-groomed’ thing and make it look effortless. They don’t make mistakes; the stuff they wear is always perfect for the occasion, whether casual or professional or sporty or dressy, and the styling is always on point.

I can immediately recount in my head all the people I’ve ever known who are like this (a couple of friends instantly spring to mind), and some of them I was even at school with, so it definitely starts early!

Upsetbetty · 12/04/2025 08:59

LivesinLondon2000 · 12/04/2025 08:56

Are the clothes quite expensive? I often find that with the people who look great wearing relatively simple clothing.
That and great skin, hair & nails. It looks effortless but isn’t at all

Most of her bits are next and m&s she likes simple and clean lines. No crazy patterns but yes to strips. She has naturally good hair and skin. She once told me she goes to the hairdresser once a year, her hair is very simple style, just parted in the middle, no highlights etc. she doesn’t get her nails done but they are always clean and not too long.

OP posts:
NattyTurtle59 · 12/04/2025 08:58

StonwEd · 12/04/2025 07:57

It’s a lovely, casual, simple get up. Most would look nice dressed like that, hair done, simple make up, lovely. Try something similar if you like it!

I'm not part of the "most" then. I never look together, no matter what I wear and I'm usually dressed in a similar fashion to OP's example, and always plan what I'm going to wear (and I iron clothes). Some people just manage to effortlessly look good.

Gundogday · 12/04/2025 08:57

Does she know her body shape and what colours suit her? It does make a difference.

IdLikeThingToSpiralIntoControl · 12/04/2025 08:56

I’m tall, I’m slim, I iron everything -still look like I’ve fallen over in a charity shop most days.

LivesinLondon2000 · 12/04/2025 08:56

Are the clothes quite expensive? I often find that with the people who look great wearing relatively simple clothing.
That and great skin, hair & nails. It looks effortless but isn’t at all

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 12/04/2025 08:55

Upsetbetty · 12/04/2025 08:11

Well she’s a brunette and quite attractive (does not look her age!) yes so I’m guessing that helps a lot. Long legs she does not have…when we talk clothing she always says how she has to buy trousers from the petite sections and some shops just don’t cater for petite folk.

You can need petite leg length but still have long legs in comparison to your frame if that makes sense?

I saw a video where they compared celebrities all the same height, around 5ft 1. Some looked taller because their legs in comparison to their bodies were longer. But they would still be classed as “short legs” if that makes sense? Those with longer bodies, looked shorter.

Strawberrycupcakes · 12/04/2025 08:49

I bet she has good hair. People with naturally good hair always seem to look effortlessly stylish in my opinion.
I say this as someone with very fine, flat, limp hair that falls out so no matter what I wear it can’t distract from my awful hair.

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