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Original poster

Friends Boyfriend Is Lazy And A Womaniser

59 replies

CheekyPombear · 12/04/2025 01:55

A close friend of mine met a man last November.
He is about 13 years her senior and she is having doubts about him.
He lives on his own in a one bed HA flat.
He doesnt drive he hasnt been in employment since 2002 he doesnt seem to have and skills or formal qualifications.
He has epilepsy but its managed by meds.
He has asked if he can live with her she owns her own home outright a nice 2 bed new build semi.
Im thinking he wants to move in with her then after so long claim he has rights to some of her capital etc.
Also he thinks he is gods gift his best friend said he always had many girlfriends and flings but none owned property or had a career like my friend.
He is 58 in October.
Is it bad to think he is a loser?.
He goes to bars nearly every night too.

OP posts:
Original poster
CheekyPombear · 12/04/2025 15:14

pimplebum · 12/04/2025 14:21

He can’t get any of her home unless they are married and them divorce

Just say he did move in with her after two years she asks him to go he could go to a solicitor and say he has a interest because he has lived at her house?.

OP posts:
Original poster
CheekyPombear · 12/04/2025 15:12

Coconutter24 · 12/04/2025 15:05

My friend did say to me today she doesnt want him moving in her house because he is lazy.

Has she told him he is not moving in?

She said she is going to tell hi its best if he stays in his own flat.
If he does lose his benefits he could lose his home and he knows that.
His sister and his brother dont really want him at their's.
His father is 77 and he even takes money off him.
His father owns a small terraced house and he thinks he should get it all when he dies because he is the eldest.
I just dont understand why he has got away with being on benefits so long.
Dont they send you for assessments?.

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 12/04/2025 15:05

My friend did say to me today she doesnt want him moving in her house because he is lazy.

Has she told him he is not moving in?

suburberphobe · 12/04/2025 14:54

^He thinks he is gods gift hence many girlfriends.
Even his best friend said that.
When he was in his 20's he had three different women in a month.
God knows what they saw in him.^

Could just be telling tales though....

Those kind of guys who can't get their shit together would tend to do that I think.

Lanzarotelady · 12/04/2025 14:51

So??? Not your circus, not your monkey!

Not you who is in a relationship with him so why fret? Presume your friend is an adult who can make her own mind up??

JHound · 12/04/2025 14:26

TwistedWonder · 12/04/2025 14:15

Agree. Older men never appealed to me but I can understand the appeal if they have their shit together and have a maturity about them.

This one a lazy useless man waste of space - how these dregs seem to get a string of women is beyond me

Show quote history

This is why I refuse to believe incels truly exist / or are that way because they are exceptionally fussy. The absolute waste of spaces I know with multiple children.

My uncle who is a perma-bum also has 5 kids for 3 women. And he has NOTHING going for him. Not even looks. Mindboggling!

pimplebum · 12/04/2025 14:21

He can’t get any of her home unless they are married and them divorce

TwistedWonder · 12/04/2025 14:20

suburberphobe · 12/04/2025 14:19

he hasnt been in employment since 2002 he doesnt seem to have and skills or formal qualifications.

Big fat NO then!

He has asked if he can live with her she owns her own home outright a nice 2 bed new build semi.

Another big fat NO!!

He's got cocklodger written all over him.

Yep. And you know the minute he’s got his feet under her table, it’ll be impossible to get rid of him

suburberphobe · 12/04/2025 14:19

he hasnt been in employment since 2002 he doesnt seem to have and skills or formal qualifications.

Big fat NO then!

He has asked if he can live with her she owns her own home outright a nice 2 bed new build semi.

Another big fat NO!!

He's got cocklodger written all over him.

TwistedWonder · 12/04/2025 14:15

JHound · 12/04/2025 14:10

I never understand women dating much older men but the man is a bum. The while point of dating older men is they are meant to have their shit together, be more mature and financially stable.

To date an older bum boggles my kind!

Agree. Older men never appealed to me but I can understand the appeal if they have their shit together and have a maturity about them.

This one a lazy useless man waste of space - how these dregs seem to get a string of women is beyond me

NeilDiamondsBlowDry · 12/04/2025 14:12

Apart from only changing his bedding monthly he sounds utterly delightful.

singlewhitetrashheap · 12/04/2025 14:11

He sounds disgusting and she needs to get rid.

JHound · 12/04/2025 14:10

I never understand women dating much older men but the man is a bum. The while point of dating older men is they are meant to have their shit together, be more mature and financially stable.

To date an older bum boggles my kind!

Original poster
CheekyPombear · 12/04/2025 14:09

He even thinks that I fancy him.
Im married with my own home older hubby.
He is going for women with their own homes now he is older.

OP posts:
treesandsun · 12/04/2025 14:08

If he has his benefits cut for not being willing to work - his rent on his HA flat will not be paid and he will eventually be asked to leave if he cannot pay. He is lining himself up with somewhere else to live where no rent is needed and he will be unable to contribute to bills etc.
I would tell your friend to tell him - no I do not want you living here - this is my home only. No reason is needed - it is her preference.
God knows what she sees in him.

Original poster
CheekyPombear · 12/04/2025 14:06

Springhassprungthesunisout · 12/04/2025 13:39

Maybe he wants to move in with her then as if he comes off benefits and has to apply for JSA (who'd employ him with his lack of consistent work experience?) he wouldnt be able to afford to stay in his flat? Hence the cocklodging move onto your nurse with a purse friend?

The reason he's probably had lots of fleeting girlfriends is that they dont last long once they realise they can't fix him.

He thinks he is gods gift hence many girlfriends.
Even his best friend said that.
When he was in his 20's he had three different women in a month.
God knows what they saw in him.

OP posts:
Springhassprungthesunisout · 12/04/2025 13:39

Maybe he wants to move in with her then as if he comes off benefits and has to apply for JSA (who'd employ him with his lack of consistent work experience?) he wouldnt be able to afford to stay in his flat? Hence the cocklodging move onto your nurse with a purse friend?

The reason he's probably had lots of fleeting girlfriends is that they dont last long once they realise they can't fix him.

Womanofcustard · 12/04/2025 13:37

He would be mad to give up his HA flat - I think he would be thinking about sub-letting it. More income!

Terrribletwos · 12/04/2025 13:37

What exactly does your friend see in him? He sounds like an old deadbeat.

TwistedWonder · 12/04/2025 13:35

He’s a useless wanker. I’m his age and I would rather slam my flaps in a car door than touch him with a bargepole so why a woman over a decade younger would find the lazy cocklodger appealing beggars belief.

Seriously it’s better to be single forever than settle for setting her bar in the gutter with this loser.

Catchingrays · 12/04/2025 13:34

58? Well he’s not going to change now is he? Your friend knows exactly what she is getting.

She could get stuck with him though if he is prepared to give up his HA flat as he will have nowhere to go if it doesn’t work out.

BCBird · 12/04/2025 13:32

This sounds like freeloading. If a man told me I should think myself lucky he wants to be with me, I'd be tempted to run. Who does he think he is? I would not be letting anybody move in with me under these circumstances

Maitri108 · 12/04/2025 13:30

He's obviously a non starter but for some reason men like this seem to find women. Like you say he's had many girlfriends.

Original poster
CheekyPombear · 12/04/2025 13:27

Springhassprungthesunisout · 12/04/2025 13:13

May be wrong but I thought you shouldn't drink when taking epilepsy meds? Especially if his epilepsy means he can't drive. Now he's ageing he's looking for a nice young nurse with a purse especially as he's NC with his DD (who is 40ish?) I wonder why else he'd want to give up a HA flat (presumably his benefits pay for his bills etc) and live with your friend. Would it affect his benefits if he moved in with her so she'd have to foot any bills herself?

Edited

He has never drived he doesnt have a licence.
This morning my friend phoned me and said he told her yesterday that she should consider herself lucky he has never wanted a serious relationship with anyone before.
He doesnt even wash his own clothes he takes them to a launderette for a service wash.
His sister washes and dries his bedding once a month she is younger than him by six years.
He has a younger brother (47) who is married with a son who owns his own business he gives him a bit of money every week which he uses for his nightly pub going.
I think he is a tosspot.
My friend did say to me today she doesnt want him moving in her house because he is lazy.
Also he told her he has been asked to attend a job focused interview at his local job center and asked his brother to fund a solicitor if they say he has to come off benefits and get into work.
I am sure he has some kind of autism or spectrum disorder.
He seems incapable of anything useful and a peter pan.
He also thinks he looks like a young Rock Hudson and tries to emulate Sean Connery in his ways.

OP posts:
Springhassprungthesunisout · 12/04/2025 13:13

May be wrong but I thought you shouldn't drink when taking epilepsy meds? Especially if his epilepsy means he can't drive. Now he's ageing he's looking for a nice young nurse with a purse especially as he's NC with his DD (who is 40ish?) I wonder why else he'd want to give up a HA flat (presumably his benefits pay for his bills etc) and live with your friend. Would it affect his benefits if he moved in with her so she'd have to foot any bills herself?