Found more messages - feeling completely broken (again)

You aren't breaking up your family, he has chucked it away by messaging this woman on Instagram and previously cheating on you!

You need to put you and your children first. You don't have to accept it again and you shouldn't.

Repeat infidelity for me wouldn't be worked through. I would be getting all my ducks in a row and getting some advice and dumping him!

He took your forgiveness as a sign of weakness now he thinks he can cheat whenever he feels like it and you will just suck it up. Prove you are worth more. Leave him.

He took your forgiveness as a sign that you would just continue to excuse or ignore his shitty behaviour.

I am surprised you were having unprotected sex with him, given the recent background. Do you think you will continue the pregnancy?

Clearly you can’t trust him, so the relationship is over. Doesn’t sound like you are married. What’s your housing/financial situation and how much support will you get from family?

I would leave. Sorry you’re going through this but it’s unforgivable.

He will do it over and over and then cheat for real if he isn’t already.

Why are you newly pregnant given the situation? How new is new, is it too late for a termination?These situations are too frequent on MN. End it now he's obviously not interested in changing or his family. At least your child is young and won't know any different. Take him to the cleaners, hope you have some family support.

You’re not breaking up a family he has ,
yes I’m from where you at? I forgave did the therapy thing stayed together for the family and he just kept doing the same thing over and over again get free. I know it’s hard especially in your situation. Get rid of this arsehole.
your priority is you and your children I promise you staying with someone like this won’t help them in the long run you’ll be so pleased you got rid

Im so sorry. You have to tell yourself you already dont have a family to break up, you have a man who knew you'd work through no matter what to keep the 19 month old in a two parent household. Then added another baby to put another metaphorical deadbolt on the door of your relationship, ensuring you'll be as vulnerable and desperate to prove it can work that he can do what the hell he likes and you cant leave. Prove him wrong and see how you and your babies thrive

As name suggests - NC for this reply.

I did, multiple times. I understand how stupid that makes me look and I fully expect to be judged hard for this via other posters but I chose to suck it up for the kids and the mortgage and the life I’ve piled all my efforts to build. There was no physical infidelity (literally no time for this as well as I have him on find my app so I know where he is), but the paranoia did eat away at me for a long time, as did the checking his phone that I am mortified at the fact it made me THAT person. A few huge rows, I now bottle up my anger and resentment as I know I can’t keep throwing it back in his face (2 years since the last time) but I would be lying if I said that it wasn’t still in my mind.

At 19 months and in utero if you end it now they’ll never have known anything different than Mummy and Daddy don’t live together. He’s scum, utterly disrespectful

Not been through this but your post popped up. I’m so sorry. From a purely financial POV I’d hold your nerve and get legal advice on your home and finances so he has no idea that you are researching your position. If you are able and have space you could use pregnancy as an excuse and that you need to sleep alone atm. This will give you space to think and also not have to sleep next to him. Once you feel confident you Hve all the data you need you will be better informed on should you want him to leave your rights, money, assets that you will want. Never leave the house once you’ve told him you want to leave btw .I hope you had a good friend IRL you can. Share this with who can be your rock X

It's not you breaking up the family : it's him.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. He obviously thought that because you forgave him last time it meant he could behave how he wanted and you would forgive him again.