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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take recreational drugs in your 50s

357 replies

Isthisokdoyouthink · 11/04/2025 19:34

Just that really. Bunch of married fathers going out and taking recreational drugs (concealed up one of them’s rectum) - one hid it from his wife, one has a wife that does it too, the other I don’t know.

What do you think?

AIBU to feel a bit eurgh about it and a bit like they never grew up?

YABU - it’s fine. Each to their own

YANBU - it is a bit yuk.

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Trumpsgoneloco · 11/04/2025 20:37

Well this thread does explain why drug use is so prevalent & how so many can easily turn a blind eye to the associated crime.

Isthisokdoyouthink · 11/04/2025 20:37

RedToothBrush · 11/04/2025 20:32

Er... It's an illegal drug that has to be either made here illegally or smuggled into the UK (much more common - China I believe is the biggest manufacturer).

So I'm not sure how you quantify whether it's 'better' or not.

Is 'only' 5 dead, 'better' than 10 dead? You aren't exactly going to say one is 'ethically sourced' now are you?

I don't know how anyone reconciles either at any level.

Well that’s what I’d assume. But is it possible to get ‘ethical’ MDMA? The socially conscious stance of one of them makes me really wonder.

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MrsRuthFisher · 11/04/2025 20:35

Just to add - I am completely teetotal. Haven't drunk alcohol in years. Far more destructive than a bit of molly twice a year!

RedToothBrush · 11/04/2025 20:35

feelinghopeless2025 · 11/04/2025 20:31

People die in factories making fast fashion. The unworn clothes from ASOS and boohoo and shein etc end up in landfill, which is killing the planet.

I’m not saying it’s the same but yeah it’s still as unethical.

Edited

Dear Lord.

Well I really really want something so thinking about ethics doesn't matter because it's all about me and well if it's there who cares?

This isn't the first time today I've made this observation either.

IHeartHalloumi · 11/04/2025 20:35

feelinghopeless2025 · 11/04/2025 19:59

I’ll get slated but I’m in my 40s and take recreational drugs from time to time (2-3 times a year max).

I wouldn’t take anything that had been up anyone’s rectum though.

Body packing and body stuffing drugs (swallowing a condom full of drugs or concealing it rectally) is a common way to smuggle drugs into the UK so you could easily be taking something that has been through someone else's rectum.

Unless it's home grown cannabis you are definitely supporting organised crime which is very likely to link into serious violence & human trafficking.

Isthisokdoyouthink · 11/04/2025 20:34

Hoolihan · 11/04/2025 20:32

I think that's very difficult to answer - I have never been scary ever, but I am definitely not a perfect parent by any means. I think growing up with a volatile parent, whatever the cause, is very damaging.

I take mushrooms on a night out maybe once a month, other times I drink on a night out/party. Like most parents I do sometimes have a hangover (booze) which makes me a bit tired/less engaged but I would hope that doesn't have any major impact on them.

Thank you for answering. A bit tired and distant once a month is def not damaging. 😊

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Trumpsgoneloco · 11/04/2025 20:34

People die in factories making fast fashion. The unworn clothes from ASOS and boohoo and shein etc end up in landfill, which is killing the planet.

I’m not saying it’s the same but yeah it’s still as unethical.

But you did made the comparison. You are correct that capitalism involves the exploitation of others but that isn't the same as using an illegal product directly linked to crime....

Isthisokdoyouthink · 11/04/2025 20:33

ScarletWitchM · 11/04/2025 20:29

I think it’s each to their own really - if they are doing this at an age where they must know they are more at risk of health issues then that’s on them. If they still want to go to gigs at 50 years old and take drugs like they used to in their 20’s they are probably more aware of the risks than they were 30 years ago. It’s up to them.
I know there are many moral issues around drugs in general, which they probably don’t give a fuck about.

if these are people you socialise with at these gigs then I would say to not go with them anymore if you’re not into the drugs like they are

They are STBXHs friends so no longer and issue.

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Trumpsgoneloco · 11/04/2025 20:33

@SmugglersHaunt I am pretty gobsmacked. What gangs in the UK and county lines are a result of chocolate & ASOS.

Temporarynameforthisone · 11/04/2025 20:33

It’s sad.

and I say this as someone who had a brilliant time in the early 90s on the race scene 🤣 but that was then. As a mum of 3 in her early 50s I wouldn’t dream of revisiting those years. I was young, free of any responsibility, blindly optimistic. Now I would have too much to lose.

Hoolihan · 11/04/2025 20:32

Isthisokdoyouthink · 11/04/2025 20:19

Thanks.

Do you mind if I push you on that? Feel free to ignore. Do you think your kids might find that you are inconsistently emotionally unavailable though? I found it so hard to not know if it would be ‘nice/begnign dad’ or ‘dysregulated scary dad’. Do you think you are as tuned into them?

I think that's very difficult to answer - I have never been scary ever, but I am definitely not a perfect parent by any means. I think growing up with a volatile parent, whatever the cause, is very damaging.

I take mushrooms on a night out maybe once a month, other times I drink on a night out/party. Like most parents I do sometimes have a hangover (booze) which makes me a bit tired/less engaged but I would hope that doesn't have any major impact on them.

RedToothBrush · 11/04/2025 20:32

Isthisokdoyouthink · 11/04/2025 20:20

Is MDMA as bad?

Er... It's an illegal drug that has to be either made here illegally or smuggled into the UK (much more common - China I believe is the biggest manufacturer).

So I'm not sure how you quantify whether it's 'better' or not.

Is 'only' 5 dead, 'better' than 10 dead? You aren't exactly going to say one is 'ethically sourced' now are you?

I don't know how anyone reconciles either at any level.

Delphiniumandlupins · 11/04/2025 20:32

I don't really think it's any better or worse than using drugs at any age.

feelinghopeless2025 · 11/04/2025 20:31

Trumpsgoneloco · 11/04/2025 20:29

I am not ignorant to the ethical issues with drugs, but honestly unless everyone on this thread doesn’t eat chocolate, use an iPhone, shop on ASOS, etc etc etc… no judgement to any of it but my point is there is no ethical consumption under capitalism, and we all make decisions where we turn a blind eye to the reality.

You can't compare taking illegal drugs to buying a dress on ASOS!

People die in factories making fast fashion. The unworn clothes from ASOS and boohoo and shein etc end up in landfill, which is killing the planet.

I’m not saying it’s the same but yeah it’s still as unethical.

MrsRuthFisher · 11/04/2025 20:30

I'm 54, and dp is 50. We are old skool ravers, and take mdma 2 or 3 times a year. I pace myself, don't have enough to make my jaw swing right off, and have a good old dance with my tribe. I love it, and it helps my arthritis.

There will come a point where I have to stop, obviously, but not quite yet...

SmugglersHaunt · 11/04/2025 20:30

feelinghopeless2025 · 11/04/2025 20:26

I am not ignorant to the ethical issues with drugs, but honestly unless everyone on this thread doesn’t eat chocolate, use an iPhone, shop on ASOS, etc etc etc… no judgement to any of it but my point is there is no ethical consumption under capitalism, and we all make decisions where we turn a blind eye to the reality.

An easy way to make it ethical would be for the government to legalise it, but my experience of people who are anti-drugs is that isn’t good enough an idea either.

Edited

Sorry, but that’s bollocks. Supply chain issues with regulated consumer goods are completely different to supply chain issues with illegal drugs

Wishyouwerehere50 · 11/04/2025 20:30

Dear god I'd love to quantify the lives destroyed because of alcohol.

I've got so much to apologise for.

I'm keen to understand the lives ruined by MDMA and mushrooms. It's important to be aware of that so I'm going to read up. I no longer take any substances or drink. But I support mdma use. I accept I don't know how people are exploited here.

I'd prefer my child to take MDMA or mushrooms only occasionally ( if I felt I could trust the source) than getting drunk like I did every weekend in my 20s.

Trumpsgoneloco · 11/04/2025 20:29

I am not ignorant to the ethical issues with drugs, but honestly unless everyone on this thread doesn’t eat chocolate, use an iPhone, shop on ASOS, etc etc etc… no judgement to any of it but my point is there is no ethical consumption under capitalism, and we all make decisions where we turn a blind eye to the reality.

You can't compare taking illegal drugs to buying a dress on ASOS!

ScarletWitchM · 11/04/2025 20:29

I think it’s each to their own really - if they are doing this at an age where they must know they are more at risk of health issues then that’s on them. If they still want to go to gigs at 50 years old and take drugs like they used to in their 20’s they are probably more aware of the risks than they were 30 years ago. It’s up to them.
I know there are many moral issues around drugs in general, which they probably don’t give a fuck about.

if these are people you socialise with at these gigs then I would say to not go with them anymore if you’re not into the drugs like they are

feelinghopeless2025 · 11/04/2025 20:26

I am not ignorant to the ethical issues with drugs, but honestly unless everyone on this thread doesn’t eat chocolate, use an iPhone, shop on ASOS, etc etc etc… no judgement to any of it but my point is there is no ethical consumption under capitalism, and we all make decisions where we turn a blind eye to the reality.

An easy way to make it ethical would be for the government to legalise it, but my experience of people who are anti-drugs is that isn’t good enough an idea either.

Fairycreature · 11/04/2025 20:25

Men have to put it up their bottom or it can be found on the door!
I don't like coke but take MDMA a few times a year with my DP. I'm late 40's he's late 50's. We go out dancing and have a lovely time! Brings us closer together as a couple too. I've been taking it since my teens and I think I'm a better person for it. It's definitely made me more empathetic and open minded :)

89redballoons · 11/04/2025 20:25

How could you possibly look at yourself in the mirror, probably with a raging hangover/comedown, and know that the night before you'd put drugs in your body that your mate had shoved up his bum, and not be absolutely disgusted by yourself?!

I've been around all kinds of drugs and experimented a lot myself when I was younger, but now I'm in my late 30s and have young children it's an absolute no for me. I couldn't risk my health like that because of my DC, and I'd never want them to know or see me out of it or recovering from a heavy night. The idea of going back to it in 10 years' time just seems sad.

That's not to mention as others have the horrible exploitation and violence in the drugs trade, which I don't think I would be able to ignore now.

NicolaDeLaHaye · 11/04/2025 20:25

PosyRosie · 11/04/2025 20:03

Drugs at any age are pathetic. Take a risk with your own health, fine. But all the way along the supply chain people will have suffered and been exploited for the drugs that you take, just all to line the pockets of gang bosses and someone to have a good night. Every single person who takes drugs is part of that.

Absolutely.

Trumpsgoneloco · 11/04/2025 20:24

@RedToothBrush thanks

Isthisokdoyouthink · 11/04/2025 20:24

AmazingBouncingFerret · 11/04/2025 20:17

Up his arse? To get into a gig? He’s got to be winding you up.

Nope. They went off to the loo to sort it once they’d got in 🤮

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