Would you feel a little guilty (wheelchair plus bus thread)

I wouldn’t have felt bad at all, I’d have got on and waited in the aisle for her to move. If it had held up the bus and the rest of the passengers that would have been buggy woman’s choice.

Whaat? Really, what a daft comment!

I've encountered a lot of hostility and negative comments, on the buses and here on MN, on my issues with buses. I've even been accused of disliking buggy mums. That's not true. It's the self entitled attitudes of some buggy mums that I dislike. Every one should realize that life is crap for anyone in a wheelchair. For my part if I am waiting for a bus in my powerchair and someone in a manual wheelchair also needs the same bus I let them board and wait for the next bus. When I'm on the bus and hear the driver refusing a buggy because I'm in the space I call out to the driver and say there's still room for them. It's all about prioritising and respecting one another's needs.

You've lived a sheltered life haven't you Nomas - I've heard plenty of people rudely and angrily snark to 'mind my... whatever the fuck it is' at a stranger for no bloody reason.

I am sure the OP is perfectly capable of hearing and understanding what was said to her and I don't see anything to imply otherwise in her posts.

I’m wondering if OP misheard ‘mind my fucking pushchair will you’ as it seems like an oddly aggressively thing to say to someone for no reason.

You only have to look at the thread started by a teacher concerning the vile behaviour of some pupils to see how this will play out. Plenty of posters on there saying they would not move their child for anyone else to sit down.
These children then grow up to be adults. They won’t move, why should they? They have been brought up by parents instilling in them that they are more important than anyone else.

I'm horrified by the attitude of people. Having a buggy has made me more sympathetic to the plight of wheelchair users, not less. Every time the pavement is blocked by bins / cars parked on curb / other obstacles, I thank my lucky stars i can bump up and down the curb without having to retrace my steps to find a drop curb. Every time I struggle to get my buggy somewhere with small steps that I'd barely notice on foot, I think how awful it must be to have no option available. Accessing toilets aswell. I cant believe that anyone would actively make a wheelchair users life harder. We're not all like these knobs, I accept my buggy is an accessory to make my life easier, not a necessity, wheelchair users should take priority.

“mind my fucking pushchair will you”

Do you think this was an acceptable thing to say to a disabled person even if they did accidentally bump the pram on a crowded bus?

If so, I think it's you who's going to get people saying how awful those people are, not the OP.

If she did bump the pram it wouldn't have been deliberate. There was no excuse for the way she was talked to, but you don't even acknowledge that.

People are very selfish. WC users should have priority, I don't know why people buy ridiculous pushchairs when they travel by bus.

It was a one stop bus - park and ride to city centre.

I'm sorry this happened but I think you were being unreasonable to expect this to work. What would you have done if there'd been space and then a wheelchair user wanted to get on? Would you have got off in the middle of nowhere and walked? Newborn twins and a toddler? Good thing you had a car.

But surely we all have to accept that sometimes the choices we've made to use the equipment we use, will mean there are things we cannot do.

I can't take my huge all terrain powerchair on most accessible buses, it is too big. If I choose to go out in that, it won't be on a bus.

I couldn't get my mobility scooter on a bus or a train, it was too large - I accepted that there'd be times I'd have to use either alternative transport, or an alternative aid and eventually sold it and replaced it with a powerchair.

If you rarely use buses and choose a buggy system that suits what you do normally, then sometimes you're going to have to accept you can't get on the bus. If you DO regularly uses buses then it makes sense to choose equipment that works on the bus.

Buses prevent all sorts of items going on - bikes, large power scooters, etc, why should people expect to take any/all buggy systems on there?

Disabled people have to think about what equipment they're using and where they want to take it and whether it will fit all the time every time they go out. Why do some parents think the world just has to accept that they've chosen some boat sized buggy system and everyone ought to just budge up and accomodate it?

When you don’t use buses regularly you just don’t have that to hand.

I only ever tried a bus once with dc. I had a 3yo and newborn twins and was trying to use the park and ride in Exeter. Double buggy was the same size as a small wheelchair (fitted through single doorways). There was no way I could safely hold two premature babies and fold a buggy. First bus had a wheelchair so I waited for the next 2 - both had single buggies who refused to fold. I gave up and got back in my car and drove into the city centre feeling teary and stressed.

You've done nothing wrong. Sorry you had to deal with these asshats.

When my now 13yo was a baby I couldn't drive. I also lived in the middle of nowhere with 3buses a day in each direction. Everyone on that bus route did their bit to make sure everyone squeezed on... buggies were in every gap, children squished up on seats etc. Everyone helped each other.

Its a shame that sort of thing has been lost. I think only one piece folding buggies should be allowed on buses really.

This is where the erosion of authority figures has got us. Back in the day the driver or conductor would have intervened and got things sorted so everyone could fit on board.

Nowadays they’re not going to deal with swearing woman and entitled parents.

However, the other issue is the poor bus service of one bus an hour. No one wants to get off to make way in those circumstances (I’m in London so getting off the bus and waiting for the next was never an issue. Or just walking).

I also don’t think comparisons with back in the day are very helpful - mothers and babies/toddlers are out of the house for much longer periods of time than in the past so you have a lot more kit and kaboodle with you than if you were just out for a couple of hours.

i have had a) a woman with a dog in a pram and b) a woman with a childs doll in a buggy push on before me on a bus. The dog owner actually was ok as she moved out of my way on the bus but the woman with the doll had to be told to collapse her buggy and have the doll on her knee. Obviously she mustn’t have been very mentally well to be pushing a doll around in a big buggy…but she would have taken the space from me, a person, if she could have

There are restrictions on the size of mobility scooters on buses. Why aren't there similar restrictions on the size of buggies?

What are you feeling guilty about???

Did you accidentally bang into her push chair with your Rollator? Is that what starter off saying be careful of my pram?

At the end of the day, there is a wheelchair space, fine for her to use it Waller wheelchair doesn't need it, but the minute someone in the wheelchair needs it, she loses it. No ifs or butts.

She can choose to leave the kid in it and get off the bus or she can remove the kid and fold it. Sometimes it's not easy because there's nowhere to put the stuff you accumulate in the past year or the kid is asleep half asleep and hard to deal with. But that's life. It's a space for wheelchairs (and on our buses anyway through through things to clip into so they don't move around or tip) and she has chosen to get on a bus where the pushchair chair spaces were already full

Back 30 years folding up the buggy was normal. Normal for me also was handing the baby to the driver while I did it!! Bet those perspex windows aren't for Covid or driver safety.. But to dodge random dc!!
People had more patience then I think...
Every Friday I ferried 4 dc onto a bus after school to do the weekly shop..

This is me. I’m a powerchair user who used to use buses a lot. In practice what happens on a crowded bus, the bus driver will shout from the cab that he can't get you on. I have had people refuse the bus drivers request to move and there is literally nothing the driver can do, they just drive on. To combat this I use quieter bus stops at the start of routes thereby getting on first. This isn’t always feasible though

It's a shame when people are rude. But when there's buggies and a couple disabled folks as well, obviously there isn't quite enough space.

The woman who swore at you was awful. What did she think you'd do, smash the pushchair in half by gingerly squeezing yourself around it?

I don't know what the solution was at that time but some people just don't care about others and there's little you can do to force them to. Hopefully karma will bite them on the arse. If they weren't just having a very bad day.