Would you feel a little guilty (wheelchair plus bus thread)

I came to mobility issues later in life. My experiences are very similar to your daughter's. She has my deepest sympathy for her experiences so young. Unless there's a radical change in people's attitudes it can only get worse.

What I don't understand is this 'I was here first' attitude from pushchair users. It's not a case of who was there first,it's a case of wheelchair users having priority! Disabled charities and groups fought long and hard for easier access to public transport (buses where the step can be lowered, wheelchair spaces) and the understanding was that if the wheelchair space wasn't needed by a disabled person,then pushchair users could use it. This has gradually eroded over the last 20 years to 'first come,first served'. A few months ago,I actually heard a woman with a pushchair on the bus saying when she was asked to move for a wheelchair, 'You do know that pushchairs have priority?'. A case of if enough people say it often enough,it starts to become 'truth'.

I would have thought that the sensible situation is that the people in wheelchairs or using a rollator, with reduced mobility should take precedence to fit onto the bus, but I imagine in reality the bus driver is more likely to refuse people getting on than ask people to get off.
The woman with the pram was very rude and when I'm on the bus with the pram I usually fold it if my baby isn't asleep to give more space to others.
I don't think you have anything to feel guilty for.

They were premature, I didn’t add all the details but they looked premature - 5lbs and 4lbs big at the time. Either way, if one mum is clearly struggling why would other mums not help? I think it’s a fair expectation to expect kindness at a time of difficulty. To be fair the tubes aren’t the reason I couldn’t hold two babies while folding a buggy and managing a 3 yo, that was more that I’d not evolved into an octopus.

Where does it say they were tube fed, or is it something you added for extra dramatic effect?
And are you 100% sure the babies on the bus were 100% healthy? Maybe their mums were not feeling well, were disabled, maybe their kids were disabled or just waited for an hour on the bus and had the same right to be on it. I mean sad reality but no one is more entitled to a space on the bus than someone who is already on it.
A polite thing would nto be to expect for everybody to bend over backwards just because it's convenient for one person.

I’m a full time carer for my disabled daughter. We talk about what she faces all the time. I still don’t fully appreciate what it is like to be a disabled person. To be stared at all the time, to be the obvious person in the room, to have to ask for things just to exist in a way ableds don’t, to be made to feel like a nuisance when you ask for reasonable adjustments

Plenty of people have been sworn at on planes, but for a disabled person that it yet another time they have to deal with it. They’ve had to deal with that on top of navigating the airport, finding space to wait, trying to get someone to understand no they can’t just wait in the 2 hour check in queue to get a wheelchair tag, waiting for special assistance to come to them, worrying about whether they will turn up, having people tut at them for being able to board early, waiting for the ambilift to get them to the plane, having people stare at them whilst they tried to get to their seat, wondering if their wheelchair will be intact at the end of the flight, not being able to use the toilets… the list goes on. If the worst thing that happens to you that day is being shouted at by an entitled person for not moving, then you’re doing ok comparatively.

I have never experienced anyone being vile to my daughter when we are out, but I’ve experienced enough ill will and ignorance to know it definitely exists.

My 9 year old son is a wheelchair user and I drive so it isn't an issue most of the time as we have a Motability car but we actually used a bus the other day and the driver was fantastic, two pushchairs were already on and they got told to move and he refused to move the bus until one of them moved. One of them started arguing that it's either two pushchairs or two wheelchairs and he simply pointed to the sign that said wheelchair priority. She moved but refused to get off the bus so was in the aisle with the pushchair, the driver shrugged and started driving again.

“Kindly” this is a shitty response.

It would be polite to fold to allow the mum with tiny twins with tubes up their noses who can’t fold and hold two prem babies at the same on if they are able to fold their buggies.

When we had to get a buggy, it was recommended that the umbrella pushchairs were not used until the DC were 1 year old.

The two part buggy we has was slimline, but needed two hands to collapse, plus I'd have it stuffed to the brim with the food shopping, including over the handle clips. I'd never have been able to collapse it on the bus in my own, and I've never seen anyone ever help someone else collapse a buggy on a bus.

It'd would only be feasible to get off. Which is what I would have done, as even collapsed, I'd have had two parts of a buggy, numerous shopping bags and DC.
It was easier once DC were over a year, and we did have an umbrella pushchair.

In my day the driver would give you a ticket to show you'd already paid, no problem. I'd be surprised if that has changed.

I'd fold the buggy though.

I am past the age of buggies on buses now, but I always worried about having to get off, if there wasn't enough space.

Mainly because of how the ticket issue works.

If I've paid for a single ticket (ours just say "central zone") and I have to get off to make way for a wheelchair user, would I then have to pay for another ticket on the next bus?

On mat leave, I was often down to pennies at the end of the month, so couldn't have afforded a second ticket. I could walk into town, but the hill back up, with a buggy, would have killed me.

It never happened to me, but I always worried about it. I'd have given way if needed, but do wonder if there are people who wouldn't give way because of similar worries.

That makes it ok then, that people swear at the able bodied too? I do not assume that someone cannot hear what is said to them - why are you doing so? You are questioning the OP's veracity. You have no cause to do so.

As a disabled person whose been in this experience before, I’d of pointed to the disabled sticker for that area and said “move.”
They can fold their buggies.

That’s a bit harsh. Wouldn't you want to help someone with 2 tiny newborns and a 3yo on her own?

Why do you feel guilty? 1) she was really rude and 2) you weren't using a wheelchair so weren't causing any of the crush anyway, the 3 pushchairs were.

I think there's a combined responsibility on bus users to make themselves as flexible and compact as they can and on bus drivers to enforce rules once that has happened as far as is possible.

And maybe also a 3rd responsibility on travel companies to make more space om buses. A lot of people can stand so why can't more/all seats be flip up to allow more flexible spaces? In a city it's no big deal if someone has to wait for a couple of buses or walk a couple of stops. But where I live there's 1 bus a day from the village to the nearest city. That's it. And it takes about 30 minutes with very few stops. Must be a nightmare for people with no car who can't guarantee they will be allowed on.

Why would the single buggies have to fold just for you?
I have a disabled kid and a smaller toddler and used a double buggy for a looooong time and Id never expected anyone to accomodate for us. They were on the bus first and had the right to have the buggies there without having to fold because it was convenient for you sadly. You dont know what was the situation of those parents, maybe they too waited for a long time to get on the bus and felt stressed.

You really don't need to explain disability to me, I’m a full time carer for my disabled mum.

But everyone is capable for mishearing something.

And plenty of people have been sworn at for refusing to move for entitled people on planes, whether disabled or not.

I've had to get off a bus with my pram to give way for a wheelchair user. Absolutely no guilt was expected - those are the rules and the disabled person has priority (there were already other buggies in the buggy space when I got on so I used the wheelchair space, which you are allowed to do subject to giving way to a wheelchair user). It's the only time it has ever happened and was a minor inconvenience at most. It's far easier for me to get around than most wheelchair users, and they will (mostly) still need their wheelchair after my children outgrow the buggy. The other woman was horribly rude to you OP

What are you feeling guilty about? Nothing happened, you all got in the bus no one got kicked off. This is a none issue.

The OP mentioned mobility problems. Pretty sure they don't affect hearing. You must live a very charmed life if you never come across "oddly aggressive" people. Or perhaps it is something only us people with disabilities have to contend with (my hearing is fine btw). I have been sworn at for refusing to move seats on a plane (that I paid for - paid extra for - to be seated in a place suitable for my disability) because mum wanted her child beside her, sworn at for not moving fast enough (also use a rollator at times), and even sworn at for "skipping a queue" because I was in a wheelchair and in the disability track!

Oh, that's a brilliant thing to do. I would have paid good money to see their faces when they realised!
I mean, I'm sorry, and angry' that you were treated badly, but as an act of revenge, it was priceless.
As for the entitled, selfish woman with the pram, @Soubriquet . What a bitch.

People are generally more entitled and angry as you have experienced from that comment, and bus drivers can’t force people off to make space- the ruling is that they have to make effort to clear the wheelchair space, they can stop the bus from moving on- ask pushcarts to be folded etc not force people already onboard to get off.
With people’s growing sense of entitlement and risk of aggressiveness from passengers, bus drivers just don’t bother and leave passengers to sort it out themselves.

Which bit? Care to expand?

Back 20 years ago there was a woman who'd get on with her DS and his pram. Almost every time a passenger would be happy to take the pram whilst the woman walked up the steps with her DS. I don't remember anyone complaining because they needed a hand.