To think it’s fair to judge people on their appearance in certain situations?

He can fuck off anyway as he judges bereaved people for what they are wearing.

I read it as he felt he had the edge physiologically/physically. 🙈😂

Appearance is one aspect of how someone chooses to present themselves and I don't see any reason we should have to ignore any signals that are sent by it (consciously or unconsciously) so YANBU. It's one factor among very many factors of course

Even if you see someone who looks "unkempt" and think "someone who isn't shallow and frivolous about looks, fantastic" it's a judgment!

But you can be unkept and normal weight or over weight and look immaculate. Those two things are not linked.

Stained hoody at an interview, would I judge, deep down probably yes but on reflection depending on the job, that could be someone who has been out of work for a while. Living hand to mouth, no money for new clothes and doing their best with limited resources.

The reality is that we all judge people based on different things and I think this is reasonable and part of our nature but I would question what you mean by "overweight" and think it's one thing to judge by clothing or piercings or things people
can choose or change and another to judge based on personal appearance.

As a teacher I look great first thing in the morning but by 3pm, my hair is a mess, my clothes and shoes are covered in flour and I usually smell. If I am meeting people after school for external meetings, I usually change, but internal meetings I don’t, and I hope I am not judged!
I am not hugely overweight now but I certainly used to be, whilst I don’t think being a bit overweight impacts your ability to teach, being morbidly obese does. I’ve been that teacher that my hips hurt and I don’t want to walk across the classroom, and I see it in very obese teachers now who huff and puff when walking around school and going up and down stairs.
They (and previously me) do not have the energy and ability to keep up with the kids. Obviously it doesn’t mean they can’t teach but they would be better teachers if they were a bit fitter.

I work in social care and I've found that most of the time if someone is unkempt it's for a good reason. It's usually someone who is either stressed, overwhelmed, has poor mental health, has had a major life event like a birth or death, spends most of their time caring for others and hasn't time or support to think of their appearance or has never been taught how to care for themselves. It's better to have empathy and an open mind.

I wouldn't judge an overweight teacher, or one that maybe dressed quite eclectically. But if they, or anyone in a position where they need to be taken seriously, were dirty, unwashed, etc, then yes.

I would judge a properly overweight personal trainer though.

I agree with most posters that overweight and unkempt are not the same thing . some of my best teachers at school were what some may call unkempt depending on your definition of it - messy hair, crumpled clothes - but they were clean,didn’t smell bad and more importantly kind and good at their job! It was a private school and not one person - that I’m aware of - cared about their appearance.

OPs views is very common though even if people don’t quite say it aloud, they often associate being overweight with being scruffy or untidy hence I know many larger ladies who put a lot more into their appearance than they would otherwise to try and defy that perception.

Everyone seems to be equating being unkempt with being frazzled and it just.. isn’t the same thing

I suppose the only time weight might come into it is if they were promoting a diet 🤔 because clearly it didn't work for you why would it work for me?

But that's only a might because they might have started heavier might have just had a baby etc etc

@Jabberwok Personally I like to make sure I am the best dressed man in the room as it gives me a physiological edge in business situations. I look wealthy (most clothes bought from charity shops) and confident.

I realise one should look smart carrying a coffin, or when one is flogging the more expensive coffin, or whatever you do, but I think the edge is pushing it, surely most of your cohort throw on a dark suit.

I presume you mean psychological not physiological

Everyone judges everyone else, it's a fact

You're in the wrong job if you're judging people when they're grieving be cause they don't have trousers that you deem good enough.

Do you have children OP?

Before I became disabled I was a very high flying marketing manager and I wore very smart clothes every day and I would have judged others as you have in your first post - I’m embarrassed to say. Now I understand that a lot of people like me struggle to wash themselves or their clothes because of either physical ability to do so or lack of financial means to pay others to do it for them (and with the coming PIP cuts it will get worse). I have incontinence issues and I’m very aware that I often don’t look or smell as fresh as I could do, which is absolutely mortifying considering what I used to be like.

It’s a cliche but be kind, always.

Of course people should look clean and tidy if they want to be taken seriously. Their weight has nothing to do with this and it’s a shame that you have linked weight to being unkempt.

Dirty hoodie in an interview . ..yes. because you'd hope they'd be trying to make their best impression.

Being overweight or unkempt as a teacher...no. being over weight doesn't stop you being a great teacher and nor does being a little frazzled looking after a day of dealing with 30 or more kids

It’s interesting that the OP words were “overweight and unkempt” presumably a person who was smart but overweight wouldn’t be judged in the same way.

I am very judgy on first impressions, then adjust accordingly as I interact with people. Am liable to be both late and scruffy myself so I am sure I get judged too. It’s just human isn’t it to assess people as well as we can on any available information?

I expect the overweight teacher is judging

One of the most amazing teachers I know is overweight. It doesn’t affect her ability to be a fun and respected teacher with a wealth of knowledge about her subject.

Most of the teachers where I work are in trackies, trainers and polo shirts, because we work with small children who are fast and messy. We do outdoor learning daily, daily exercise etc, and no one wants to be shlepping through the woods in heels and a skirt.

Funnily enough, it has no impact on our ability to teach maths and English.

Absolutely. They didn't need to impress anyone - unlike somebody going for a job interview!

I'm fairly sure your aristos brushed up very smart for formal events.

Overweight= looks like a tramp.

you're a right charmer

You might have just willingly missed out on someone great there if he was borderline successful but you declined him because of his appearance.

And he might not have been wearing polished shoes, but he might know the difference between physiological and psychological.