To be totally embarrassed at doing a crap interview

I have to interview for the job I’ve been doing excellently for the last 6 years in a couple of weeks as part of a restructure. My whole career now depends not on how well I do my job but whether I can guess the right buzz words and phrases in a fucking interview.
I am terrible at interviews, partly because I am autistic and don’t understand the stupid questions half the time or I misinterpret them and go off on a tangent or I answer too literally or cannot recall a single example that I think fits the question.
Also partly because over the last few years my confidence has been eroded and I am absolutely terrified that I will lose my job that I have worked so hard at and managed to keep. I’ve been with them for 20 years in a couple of different roles. It will be catastrophic for me if I mess it up. I will literally have nothing in my life. This restructure has been going on for 8 months and I’ve been in ‘at risk’ status all that time. The level of stress and anxiety I have is off the scale. I can’t sleep, I keep bursting into tears every time I think about what might happen.
I’ve done multiple interview skills workshops over the years but none of really help.

Perhaps. However, there’s a big difference between doing your usual day-to-day role and being in a job interview (which should really only happen every few years). As a secondary school teacher, I’m not at all nervous trying to hold the attention of a roomful of teenagers or meeting their parents, but I do get very nervous in an interview situation with a head of department and a couple of members of the senior leadership team.

Don't worry we all have embarrassing interviews, sometimes you still get the job.

I got dragged around by the prospective bosses dog when I turned up for one and they saw it all. I got the job by sheer dint of being the only applicant. I made up for it after.

I hope it didn't go as bad as you feel it did and don't give up job hunting, no one pays a good enough salary for you to have to cope with a shit boss.

If you get the job, you obviously weren't as bad as you thought. If you don't get the job then you'll never see the panel again anyway so who cares

I had an embarrassing interview a few months ago, internal but not with people i work with on a daily basis thankfully, I still cringe now

It might not have been as bad as you think - and the woman may have just been scratching her head! Don’t give up hope.

At my last interview, I started with ‘Please excuse any nerves I’m showing; I know I’m not brilliant at interviews.’ The interview was the last part of the day, which had included various tasks that I knew I could do to a high standard.
I got the job, and they said they liked my honesty (and the fact that I’d been nervous showed that I was keen about the job).

I did an awful interview for two people I was working with. Lots of people made feel a bit better saying its always harder interviewing when you know the people.

It is always very hard to judge online ones though.

Look into interview coaching, there are companies out there that will support you to get the best out of interviews and represent yourself well.

Oh god I don't know what to tell you

I totally go to pieces in interviews,it's just pathetic

The only trick to improve is to pretend I'm someone else - a strong, confident woman dressed in linen, really