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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does anyone else hate staring?

30 replies

Babysonfire501 · 11/04/2025 15:16

Stupidly decided to wear a short skirt as it's 22 degrees here. Cue leering from much older men, a wolf whistle from a man on a bike passing, and just general staring. No it doesn't mean I am attractive or think I am, I probably just look 'dressed up' and because I'm showing some skin some men think it's an invitation to be perverts.

Even staring from some women too, not sure if it's a 'who does she think she is' or 'why on earth is she wearing that' .

Just makes me feel paranoid and these men should be ashamed. Makes you feel like fully covering up.

OP posts:
Backagainformorepunishment · 11/04/2025 15:26

I know you can wear what you want but I would assume if women are staring too then your skirt either must be shorter than short or very revealing in some way.

Tbh I'm surprised so many men were reacting that way and I didn't think wolf whistling was still a thing so it does seem a very extreme reaction when seeing young women in extremely revealing clothes is the norm, at least where I live

CarpetKnees · 11/04/2025 15:24

Like @Pillarsofsalt it does kind of depend.

If someone dresses very differently from everyone else around them, then they tend to draw looks from people. It's human nature.
We have no idea where you were or quite what you looked like.

As it happens I was wearing shorts earlier, and I popped into the shop for milk on the way home from the gym. I wasn't stared at, leered at, or perved at.
I suspect one or two people if they noticed, probably thought - 'Oh, that woman is probably on her way to or from the gym' and went on with their day.

Whitetruck · 11/04/2025 15:21

Obviously you can wear whatever you like, but I don't think I've ever experienced what you describe....except when I was a very young teen and a friend and I used to get dressed up and stand by the main road to see how many hoots we could get 😆

Pillarsofsalt · 11/04/2025 15:19

Maybe you were showing more than you thought you were showing? Either way the staring and whistling is gross and YANBU. Probably. (If your arse was hanging out I might also find it really hard not to look).

Babysonfire501 · 11/04/2025 15:18

It's the men twice your age that wind me up. Blatant leering and perving, I bet most of them are married too.

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