Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feed DP these beans?

35 replies

Newfun · 11/04/2025 13:09

He's one of those ridiculous people who thinks dates on food are the law.

I'm not slapdash with fresh food, I would't use out of date meat or fish, but I also hate waste and generally live by best before is a guide and if it looks and smells OK it's OK to eat.

He doesn't live here but I offered him beans on toast as a quick meal between outings. The tin I found was dated 2021. Obviously my stock rotation has failed, it's not something I eat often.

He was horrified at the idea so he had something else. I've since bought new beans, but I'm not throwing the old ones out, tinned food literally lasts forever.

They'll get used eventually, either by me or an adult DC, but would it be very unreasonable to just give them to him next time without letting him know they're the old ones?

Obviously if they don't look right once the tin is open, I won't use them, but they will....

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 12/04/2025 08:57

If my DH tricked me into eating something I expressly said I didn't want to eat, I would leave him.

It's a violation. You are getting them to consume something under false pretences for no good reason. You're not in a bomb shelter on rations.

You eat the beans, no big deal. But it also isn't a big deal that he doesn't want them.

autisticbookworm · 12/04/2025 08:51

Threesmycrowd · 11/04/2025 13:50

I'm a vegan and someone once cooked my potatoes in goose fat. After I'd eaten them and complimented the meal she gloated with glee that I'd eaten meat. I was livid.

It was about 30 years ago and we grew apart (not because of the potatoes!) My lasting memory of her is that meal and it isn't an accurate reflection on the friendship at all!!!

Show quote history

That’s a horrid thing to do, being vegan isn’t about things tasting better. Something can taste better with meat but if you choose to not eat animal products then you don’t have it. I would have ended the friendship for that.

CoastalCalm · 11/04/2025 14:56

Eat them yourself and stop playing games over a tin of beans ffs

AdoraBell · 11/04/2025 14:56

It wouldn’t bother me if the tins were stored in cool cupboard.

Surroundedbyfools · 11/04/2025 14:53

For christs sake just throw the 4 year out of date beans in the bin and move on with ur life

ScholesPanda · 11/04/2025 14:53

If you don't want to waste them or eat them could you put them in the bath and sit in them to raise money for red nose day?

juicylipbalm · 11/04/2025 14:10

Newfun · 11/04/2025 13:13

No, I wouldn't tell him. I might tell him if I ate them and lived, to make the point

Show quote history

What! This is so wrong

Glitchymn1 · 11/04/2025 13:55

You enjoy them then! Why would you purposely give them to him knowing he’s said no thanks.

Lottie6712 · 11/04/2025 13:51

Tickettothemoon · 11/04/2025 13:19

If you are against waste and are not bothered about the date I would just eat them yourself when you fancy them. I don’t think it’s fair that he’s mentioned he wouldn’t be happy eating them for you to trick him to prove a point..

This!

Threesmycrowd · 11/04/2025 13:50

mrsm43s · 11/04/2025 13:42

Do you also slip ham in a vegetarian's sandwich and cook a vegan's roast potatoes in lard?

Your DH has said he doesn't want to eat them, so respect that. He gets to choose what he eats and what he doesn't. You don't have the right to disregard his choices for his own body.

TBH I'd just chuck out something 4 years out of date which costs less than 50p to replace. I'm all for a bit of flexibility on use by dates, but four years past they're not going to be at their best.

I'm a vegan and someone once cooked my potatoes in goose fat. After I'd eaten them and complimented the meal she gloated with glee that I'd eaten meat. I was livid.

It was about 30 years ago and we grew apart (not because of the potatoes!) My lasting memory of her is that meal and it isn't an accurate reflection on the friendship at all!!!

Threesmycrowd · 11/04/2025 13:46

What would your reaction be if he binned all your out of date food behind your back, because he doesn't agree with keeping it past the best before date? If you think that would be controlling and unreasonable then you shouldn't do the equivalent by tricking him into eating something out of date that you know he doesn't want.

outerspacepotato · 11/04/2025 13:44

You know he doesn't want to eat them.

You sneak them to him anyway.

Then you tell him he ate what he said he didn't want to eat.

Great way to build trust and respect in your relationship. 🙄

mrsm43s · 11/04/2025 13:42

Do you also slip ham in a vegetarian's sandwich and cook a vegan's roast potatoes in lard?

Your DH has said he doesn't want to eat them, so respect that. He gets to choose what he eats and what he doesn't. You don't have the right to disregard his choices for his own body.

TBH I'd just chuck out something 4 years out of date which costs less than 50p to replace. I'm all for a bit of flexibility on use by dates, but four years past they're not going to be at their best.

TheSandgroper · 11/04/2025 13:40

DH put some little bit shrivelled tomatoes into the compost bucket once. In front of him, I took them out, washed them and served them to him and told him he had been served worse over the years.

Four year old beans would mean nothing in my house.

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 11/04/2025 13:40

If there is any break in the seal of the tin you can get botulism, long shot but in the world we live in today, I would not be shocked.

If you would be happy with paralysis that spreads down the body from head to foot then go ahead and eat your 4 year old tin of beans. Its a bit different for something being a few days out of date.

It is his choice if he chooses to go by the date on the packet, and like my DH, he sounds like he doesn't give it much grace. But I certainly wouldn't trick him.

dollyboots · 11/04/2025 13:35

JaneJeffer · 11/04/2025 13:20

Never tell a man the best before date of anything . They take them literally 😬

We’ve got an M&S salted caramel cheesecake for pudding later. Use by…yesterday. I’ve never seen a man so conflicted.

PsychoHotSauce · 11/04/2025 13:29

Its a bit pathetic of him, but it's fine, they won't go to waste! I'd probably wind him up a bit and ask him 1) what he thought would happen to him, and 2) When it would have been "safe" to eat them vs "not safe". Some tinned food has just a month bbe, not a specific date of the month, so was it anytime from 1st April it suddenly became deadly or was he safe until 30th?

One more thing: is he a Friday night dinner fan and traumatised by Martin and his tinned meat...

GenderFluid90 · 11/04/2025 13:24

Get a grip. No don't feed them to him to make a silly little point. Eat them yourself or just bin them.

Life's too short for such petty behaviour.

Oreosareawful · 11/04/2025 13:24

Wow, its a tin of beans- just bin it!

faerietales · 11/04/2025 13:23

Newfun · 11/04/2025 13:17

That they're fine to eat.

Show quote history

So?

If you didn’t want to eat something and he fed it to you anyway, would you just shrug and be fine with it?

DragonBalls · 11/04/2025 13:23

JaneJeffer · 11/04/2025 13:20

Never tell a man the best before date of anything . They take them literally 😬

As do plenty of women. The evidence for this appears pretty much every day on MN.

autisticbookworm · 11/04/2025 13:22

That’s a horrible violating thing to do

Youaremythtaken · 11/04/2025 13:20

Don't be a dick. You know he doesn't want to eat them and you said yourself that they'll get eaten at some point by someone in your household.

randomchap · 11/04/2025 13:20

So your husband doesn't eat out of date food, and you've found a tin 4 years out of date and you want to feed it to him. Simply because he said he doesn't eat out of date food.

Pathetic and childish

JaneJeffer · 11/04/2025 13:20

Never tell a man the best before date of anything . They take them literally 😬

Swipe left for the next trending thread