Sharing the family load

By helping your teens to be a but more self reliant in cooking the odd meal and doing own wahing you are paving the way for less reliance on you. Sounds like dh is adament he will have his own life come what may so only option is to make your life happy yourself.
I wouldn't be adverse to leaving his washing undone and no ironing or taxing his car as everyone does their own thing now and having no dinners ready or food in fridge. Just a bit of tit for tat... and go out just before he gets in so he has to sort himsrlf out....

Just up and leave for a week. Book a hotel and leave. It’s literally “the” only way these men wake up.

Seems like he has very little interest in family life. He was away all last weekend, he’s out and about all this weekend, does different things in the evening and goes away with work; does he actually want to spend time with you and the DC?

Absolutely this. Both my parents worked full time when I was a teenager and had their own social commitments and I never felt hard done by or they had to do everything for me! Surely by mid-teens, they can do their own washing, cook an easy meal or heat up a ready meal and help with walking the dog. I'm not sure what you mean by holidays either? Surely they are old enough to entertain themselves during the holidays.

My mum was a teacher and I was still made to be responsible for my own homework and revision!

Aren’t the mid teens out most of the day because of the school holidays and glorious weather ? I just left them at home to get on with their school
holidays and did what I had to (and wanted to) do.

What chores do they do? I see plenty of mid teens walking the family dog and I’m a single parent so had to teach my kids to cook the odd meal. Do they have SEN as they can’t do revision and homework without you?

I couldn’t leave them overnight or get drunk (the golfing and club stuff that your h is doing sounds like excuses for alcohol) but I lived in the suburbs so they took buses and taxis if I was unavailable.

So what are these mid teens doing to help round the house? I’m sure they can walk the dog and make themselves an easy tea. They should also be able to manage their own revision.
Also they would be fine for a few hours if you wanted to catch up with friends.

So go out yourself. They are old enough to get themselves something to eat and get washing out if you start it off. Also could walk the dog and I presume it's THEIR revision and not your own so why would you be doing it. Don't be a martyr

I honestly don’t think men like this change. He doesn’t value you, your time or your family.

My DH would just never do this, sure we both see friends and sometimes things happened to be booked back to back if feels like but if he’s going out and leaving me with the kids firstly he will always ask am I happy for him to go/ am I free to have the kids? Then he will go out of his way to make sure he either takes the kids out in the morning so I have a break before having them all day or he will be back at bedtime if it’s a day thing.

How old are your children & what kind of things are we talking about that you say have to be done?

Because my answer depends on those things. If you have young children who can’t be left alone, need dinner/bath/bed, and you need to do a load of washing otherwise there’ll be nothing to wear tomorrow then yes I think he’s being an arse- somebody has to do those jobs, they can’t be left.

But if your kids are 16 and 18 & the jobs you’re talking about are mopping the floors or clearing out the loft then I’d say yep, do as he says and just leave it, do what you want to do!