TW? This wasn't right was it? Parents and sex.

Although it’s not physical sexual abuse it’s still sexual abuse because they exposed to you to totally inappropriate sexual acts / discussion etc when you were a child. The reason this kind of behaviour is abuse is precisely because of the negative impact it’s still having on you years later. Parents should protect children from this, not introduce it to them. I hope you’re okay, OP. Do you think you could speak to a therapist?

None of what they did is ok or appropriate. As a mother that honestly sickens me. I cannot ever imagine behaving that way and speaking that way around my children. I am so sorry you went through that. Your parents are repulsive

Its called 'non contact child sexual abuse', you can find info on the NSPCC website. Your parents may also have been exhibitionists.
If this is something you could just get over, you would probably have done that yourself by now. It would be worth thinking about suitable therapy.

I'm so sorry to hear this and that therapy hasn't helped before. I would encourage you to find another reputable therapist as there are good people out there who can help. Fwiw i found a therapist who actually specialised in child therapy very helpful for me when working through childhood trauma.

Yes. Made me think of them too. Gross

This is horrific. Your parents should be in jail.

So sorry for what you have been through, what happened to you was wrong and should not have happened to you.

it can be hard to find the right counsellor, some of them are awful but please don’t give up on counselling itself, as with the right person it can be very healing.

This sounds awful so it’s no wonder you are traumatised.

I have no words of wisdom but hope you find someone/something to help.

I’m also worried why 2% of people think you are unreasonable.

Firstly @BunsenBurnerAccount I'm really sorry you experienced this.
None of their behaviour was right or normal or safe.

I can understand the reluctance to try therapy again, but would encourage you to do some research.

I met a couple with several children at a holiday park in the late 90s. They were happy to chat to me, young single mum, whilst our kids played.
From nowhere they bring up sex education. (My child isn't at school yet, most of theirs were I think) They tell me that they actually have shown their children how babies are made by making them watch them fuck on the sofa.

This has haunted me more than 25 years. I was very young and didn't know what I could do or say.
I'm sorry to those children 😔.

OP I am so sorry that you had to endure this. You were sexually abused and so were your siblings. I know you say you do not want counselling and that is totally up to you but you really need to work through this so you can have a better quality of life and relationships. You deserve that. Sex is a beautiful act but your experiences may not allow you to connect with your self enough to enjoy it.
I hope sharing your horrific experiences on here will give you some confidence to get support or at least be kinder to yourself.
take care x

OP, you're very brave for sharing this, it can't have been easy, and I hope posting about it has helped you get some of it off your chest a little.

This is absolutely child sexual abuse. I'm sorry you've had bad experiences with therapist. Please consider reaching out to a charity that specialises in sexual abuse.

I'm so sorry for your experiences, OP. I hope you manage to find some peace from this.

Over-exposure to your parents sex life is traumatic and complex. Please do seek a professional to help you safely explore your experiences.

Oh OP, I am sorry. I went through similar, although not as horrific as you did.

My parents used to have sed while I was sharing a bed with them. I co slept until I was around 8. I woke up countless times over the years to them having sex in the bed next to me, I used to lay frozen in fear.

We also had to share a room at families houses from time to time, I’d be on the floor next to the bed and they would carry on thinking I was asleep. The last time I would have been around 10.

I know what it’s like and how it affects you, you aren’t alone.

This is absolutely not remotely normal or OK. This was a form of sexual abuse.

This is essentially how Fred and Rose West used to behave around their children. It's awful.

You say you don't want counselling - I think it would help you, but of course, it's entirely your choice. I just want to say that I'm so, so sorry this happened to you, and well done for finding the courage to talk about it here.

I understand your reluctance with therapists and will just point out that where abuse has occurred, where trauma exists, standard forms of therapy are often inappropriate. It might be that you would benefit from a therapist who is qualified in helping patients living with trauma and a background of sexual abuse.

Unfortunately, "counselling" isn't a regulated industry. You would need to do some research to find a counsellor who is appropriately qualified and registered - https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-us/protecting-the-public/bacp-register would be a good place to start.

Some standard forms of therapy can be triggering or harmful for patients living with genuine trauma, or patients simply won't respond to standard forms (e.g. CBT won't always be helpful).

It's also important, as you've found, to have a therapist with which you have a good rapport and feel safe with, which can be a case of trial & error. I know this can take strength and energy you may not have right now so just take things at a pace you're comfortable with.

Help is out there and you can find it, you will find someone to help you deal with this.

Agree. Victim shaming is the opposite of what a therapist should be doing. I think you should try again and find a better therapist. There are lots of good ones around. Have a look on BACP website and ask a few about their services and pick one you like.

I am so sorry you have had to live with this. Although they didn't involve you, it's still classed as sexual abuse. I wish there was a hug emoji 🤗
You have to feel comfortable with a therapist and it's awful if one of them was victim shaming. They needed reporting in my opinion!
But please do try and seek counselling through your work. It's affecting your life and you need to work through it to be able to move forward.
Best of luck OP ❤

This is horrible. I feel like I need therapy just from reading about it.
I'm so sorry, definitely not normal at all.

What I've just read is enough to put anyone off sex for life never mind make them prudish about it. Go for therapy OP. If you can afford private go to someone who specialises in how our childhoods affect us as adults. Your mum and dad sound vile. Are they still like this? Are you close to them as an adult? Is it something you could bring up with them?

I empathise op. My dm had frequent male callers.... She also had a Polaroid camera... Images stay in your head ime. Get some therapy op.
I remember weeing on my bedroom floor because the bathroom was via the lounge and she had a man round. I blamed the poor ddog and have carried that guilt for decades!
I had 4 dc before my first orgasm as sex to me was tainted...
We have a chock of wood at our bedroom door... And I am quiet... Exposing dc to sex like your dps did is very much sexual abuse..

I agree. Totally inappropriate. They reminded me of reading about Fred West and his wife
Yes!!! That's exactly right.
They were the same with their children.

Op, please get some support. As everyone has said, you have been abused.

No. That is not just not normal. It’s abusive. And it sounds like a really horrid environment to grow up in. I’d definitely seek out some therapeutic support in your circumstances. I’m so sorry you had to grow up with that. X

yes, the scenarios you describe are not normal. It’s one thing to barge in on them in their room after bedtime but on the fucking stairs with you all in the house?

as well therapy I would talk with your siblings and determine how unified your memories are. Not a fun conversation to have, I know.

Just echoing what others have said; what you have described is absolutely sexual abuse of you as a child. I'm so sorry you witnessed all of that disgusting & cruel behaviour by your parents. They seem not to have given a damn for their children's mental well-being.