Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Things only frequently heard on Mumsnet (lighthearted)

258 replies

Deathofaunicorn · 11/04/2025 07:26

Just thinking of things people have posted that I've heard countless times!

Everyone's friends in their social circle didn't have their first baby until the age of 42/43.

Their Grandma had her last baby at the age of 48.

Night of passion with their dp within 6 seconds of meeting, they moved in that night and never left and now they're celebrating 75 years of marriage.

Grandma who smoked 200 cigarettes a day, used chip fat on their face and had beautiful, line free skin at the age of 120.

DP has a hobby which means they're out most evenings and every weekend. Has a female colleague 25 years younger who he has a mutual attraction with and they text each other all day long.

Their DD/DS is 6'7, model looks, eats 10 packs of lard a day yet doesn't gain an ounce.

Has anyone else seen things like this frequently posted?

OP posts:
Epli · 11/04/2025 08:47

Nobody on mumsnet got proposed - everyone discussed getting married with their partner, and then did it during their lunchbreak just in time to get back to work.

Oh and even if they did get a ring it came from a vending machine.

notatinydancer · 11/04/2025 08:47

KateDelRick · 11/04/2025 08:07

I think it's funny how people advise all sorts of convoluted, weird lies instead of just having a conversation.

that’s what I was going to say.

Teanbiscuits33 · 11/04/2025 08:45

Oh, and if you can’t drive you’re basically worthless on here and totally undatable!

AreMyEyesGreen · 11/04/2025 08:45

Cheap wedding = love match / happy marriage

Nice wedding = materialistic / only interested in the wedding not the marriage

Cheap engagement ring = wonderful marriage

Nice ring = crap marriage, shallow, greedy wife, all for show

The black & white thinking around this comes up incredibly frequently. It's baffling how people really seem to believe these stereotypes to be true.

Floatlikeafeather2 · 11/04/2025 08:43

Sameoldsameoldsame · 11/04/2025 08:09

Social class.

Being posh 😂

MN is odd. It feels like pretence.

But, very often, it is pretence. That's why a lot of people come here. It's the Land of Schadenfreude in some tragic cases but mostly it's the Land of Make Believe.

NorthernLights5 · 11/04/2025 08:42

That any man who sleeps with a woman who shaves must be a paedophile. Apparently it should only be the woman's choice as long as that choice is to not shave, if she does of course it's to please men.

rainbowstardrops · 11/04/2025 08:42

What pisses me off is when a poster asks if it’s ok to leave their 10 year old at home alone for a few hours and the pricks posters who bang on that they had to walk six miles to school in the snow without a coat or socks when they five by themself. That really annoys me!

KateDelRick · 11/04/2025 08:41

There was a woman who had severe headaches, abdominal pains, dizziness and blurred vision.
The first 3 responses?
"Are you drinking enough water?".
This rehydration nonsense is so prevalent on here!

TheFenceIsInTheAltogether · 11/04/2025 08:41

GripGetter · 11/04/2025 08:19

"We live rurally"

Careful, that's a bit outing.

Ponoka7 · 11/04/2025 08:40

That there's no fat people in other European countries. There's no badly behaved children in other European countries. That the French and life in France is something to inspire to.

Teanbiscuits33 · 11/04/2025 08:40

Everyone earns 100k plus, has a cleaner, nanny or both, never eats processed food, has children who are way above average intelligence as well as being impeccably behaved, top of all their classes and who will go off to an RG university because it would be considered an abject failure if they ended up anywhere lowly 🤣

I used to see these things all the time on here! Recently, things have been a bit more mixed, thank God!

lilypetals · 11/04/2025 08:39

"My creepy neighbour who is 42 has made inappropriate sexual comments to me and its made me really uncomfortable"

"Be kind- he may well have early onset dementia you know- have you thought about popping round for a cuppa once a week to ease his loneliness?"

Doggymummar · 11/04/2025 08:38

EveryFlavourJellyBeans · 11/04/2025 08:16

Everyone is either on six figure salaries or in poverty. Where are all the people in between who don't have thousands to spend on holidays, but can also afford to replace a washing machine if it goes wrong without it being a budget issue?

I'm here! Lol. I'm well enough off to rent a lovely detached place but not young enough to get a mortgage. I have been on one holiday and a weekend away since 2019 combined the cost under £1000. Quite normal I think.

VictoriaEra2 · 11/04/2025 08:38

GripGetter · 11/04/2025 08:27

All the oh-so-nonchalant language that crops up on cooking threads. Stick the dinner on. Bung in some toast. Lob some beans on. Chuck some cheese on top. Some MNers are such edgy edgelords in the kitchen.

Gosh yes. I hate all
that grab, bung, chuck terminology. Is it used to prove how busy and not ‘try-hard’ people are.

SweetPea201 · 11/04/2025 08:37

If you are under the age of 30 you are basically still a child, definitely not old enough to have babies or get married.

Original poster
Deathofaunicorn · 11/04/2025 08:37

Everyone is either in London, or in the Outer Hebredes with one bus service every 2 weeks and the nearest supermarket is 47 miles away.

OP posts:
Original poster
Deathofaunicorn · 11/04/2025 08:36

Posters who either got married after 3 days of courting, or after 59 years together with no witnesses, wearing a bin bag.

OP posts:
iwentjasonwaterfalls · 11/04/2025 08:35

SolielMoonSky · 11/04/2025 08:10

The amount of posters who say they are above average in looks just can’t be true. Unless for some reason attractive people happen to like hanging out on here. Where no one can see you.

I'm helping to bring the average right down. Just doing my bit 🤣

I do think on the NC one, if someone asked me why I've gone NC with my parents, I'd struggle to explain it concisely and would probably be seen as one of those people flippantly going NC. In reality, it's because my entire childhood and young adulthood was littered with covert emotional abuse and manipulation; a constant stream of small things that we'd be here all day if I described (and no one wants a trauma dump), but that my life is now significantly better with no contact.

Original poster
Deathofaunicorn · 11/04/2025 08:33

If your appearance drastically changes
/you gain a lot of weight and DP is no longer attracted to you then you should LTB immediately, he's a selfish pig who doesn't deserve you.

If your DP gains 2lbs, this is not the person you married, life is too short not to be attracted to your partner anymore, you deserve better.

OP posts:
Anonym00se · 11/04/2025 08:32

Oh I forgot the millionaires who have to use food banks because £250,000 pa isn’t much after tax these days.

oustedbymymate · 11/04/2025 08:31

No screen time ever for any aged kid

moonplop · 11/04/2025 08:31

Women being called anti feminist for shaving their pubic area and armpits, wearing make up or making an effort with their appearance

Yes, there is a weird and superior attitude towards anyone who dares to want to look nice/presentable. Cue lots of bragging about "I dont even brush my hair, I just run a Brillo pad over my face every night, and chuck on some old rags - I dont care what anyone thinks about the way I look because I'm above that sort of thing".

I always get a picture in my head of Worzel Gummidge turning up to a team meeting at work.

Autumn38 · 11/04/2025 08:31

The social anxiety I always feel is really strange. People hating it if extra people join for coffee, the hatred of friends popping in, preferring to be home alone over all else, intense dislike of holidays with other people, always only having Christmas with immediate family…. Then threads full of people agreeing. Where are these people in real life?! (Probably at home to be fair 😂)

Original poster
Deathofaunicorn · 11/04/2025 08:30

If your DP so much as breathes in the general direction of your MIL and sees her more than once every 3 years, he's a mummy's boy who will never change, you need to LTB,

OP posts:
Sameoldsameoldsame · 11/04/2025 08:30

Ponoka7 · 11/04/2025 08:18

That you have a drink problem if you want a alcoholic drink.
The angst over perfectly usual and non harmful food. I do think that there's a lot of health/death anxiety that posters think they have control over, when health is a largely a matter of luck.
The lack of enthusiasm about social events, family weddings, holidays. I think a lot on here live to work.
Working as many hours as you can, rather than getting a balance and having time with your under six year olds.
There's a lot of strangeness about spending, rather than hoarding money.
I'd be here all day describing the difference in family relationships.

This.

Children are always in childcare whilst they earn £500,000 in their careers. Children appear to be a hindrance to many. Families are all split and non contact.

It's an odd place. Extremes.

Swipe left for the next trending thread