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Original poster

Things only frequently heard on Mumsnet (lighthearted)

258 replies

Deathofaunicorn · 11/04/2025 07:26

Just thinking of things people have posted that I've heard countless times!

Everyone's friends in their social circle didn't have their first baby until the age of 42/43.

Their Grandma had her last baby at the age of 48.

Night of passion with their dp within 6 seconds of meeting, they moved in that night and never left and now they're celebrating 75 years of marriage.

Grandma who smoked 200 cigarettes a day, used chip fat on their face and had beautiful, line free skin at the age of 120.

DP has a hobby which means they're out most evenings and every weekend. Has a female colleague 25 years younger who he has a mutual attraction with and they text each other all day long.

Their DD/DS is 6'7, model looks, eats 10 packs of lard a day yet doesn't gain an ounce.

Has anyone else seen things like this frequently posted?

OP posts:
HellDorado · 11/04/2025 12:43

MidnightPatrol · 11/04/2025 09:30

If mumsnet is to be believed, 95% of children are neurodiverse.

Which ironically would make them neurotypical!

PoppyTheGuineaPig · 11/04/2025 12:39

moonplop · 11/04/2025 11:43

I remember a poster berating another one during covid for putting ice cream in with her "essential only" shopping basket and telling her that she had probably just killed an OAP 😆

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I remember a similar covid era thread about cucumber. One lady had bought 3 cucumbers and was told how appalling that was. If that had been me, my response would have been "sorry but my guinea pigs don't understand about pandemics, to them fresh veggies are an essential."

I also remember the " you don't need milk, you can use cheese in your coffee" one. Did anyone really susbstitute milk for cheese?

Vitrolinsanity · 11/04/2025 12:36

PoppyTheGuineaPig · 11/04/2025 10:37

The niche hobby that is so niche that to mention what it is would be outing!

It’s golf. It’s always golf. Which in the real world no one calls a hobby. You just go and play golf.

FKAT · 11/04/2025 12:28

I haven't seen the eyes ones. They sound as boring as the sex ones. It's either a boy or a girl with either (a variation of) brown or (a variation of) blue eyes.

JudgeJ · 11/04/2025 12:13

Deathofaunicorn · 11/04/2025 12:09

"My DS teacher gave him a slightly stern look in class today because he was disrupting the class." I am outraged and fuming, aibu to request a meeting with the head?"

Surely you would demand a meeting, not request.

applemash · 11/04/2025 12:12

B1indEye · 11/04/2025 12:03

I don't even understand why anyone asks this, why does it matter?

Happy to learn if I've missed a vital life feature

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I suspect what they are hoping for is: "Shimmering hazel with majestic flecks of pure gold, that transcend into a tapestry of emerald green light in direct sunlight"

What they get is: "they're brown".

ShruggedHugely · 11/04/2025 12:10

Deathofaunicorn · 11/04/2025 12:09

"My DS teacher gave him a slightly stern look in class today because he was disrupting the class." I am outraged and fuming, aibu to request a meeting with the head?"

No, you're FUMMING.

There are quite a few fummers.

Original poster
Deathofaunicorn · 11/04/2025 12:09

"My DS teacher gave him a slightly stern look in class today because he was disrupting the class." I am outraged and fuming, aibu to request a meeting with the head?"

OP posts:
JudgeJ · 11/04/2025 12:05

SnowFrogJelly · 11/04/2025 10:20

The amount of posters who post pics of themselves saying ‘how old do I look’ just begging for compliments

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I'm always tempted to say Older than me and I'm in excess of 75!

moonplop · 11/04/2025 12:04

pellypelican · 11/04/2025 11:53

People working 12/14 hour days while being on mumsnet all day.
Also people who type out threads and answer lots of posters about how they haven’t had time to text their friend back.

I wonder this too: "I'm just so busy, -busy, busy, busy, I dont even have a moment to myself for texting my best friend back, what with working 120 hours a week and having to look after 7 children and 5 elderly grandparents!"

Yet they somehow manage to post 57 times on MN in a day.

B1indEye · 11/04/2025 12:03

applemash · 11/04/2025 12:00

THIS. So dull- the colour is always very obvious too.

Show quote history

I don't even understand why anyone asks this, why does it matter?

Happy to learn if I've missed a vital life feature

B1indEye · 11/04/2025 12:02

I've just read this on another thread and it reminded me that I've never come across it mentioned in real life

"Do you have legal cover under your home insurance", this is posted usually within the first 5 posts of anything vaguely relevant

It's like there's some kind of klaxon 😁

applemash · 11/04/2025 12:00

Dunkou · 11/04/2025 11:49

“What colour are these eyes.” The most boring of boring threads.

THIS. So dull- the colour is always very obvious too.

HellDorado · 11/04/2025 11:58

AreMyEyesGreen · 11/04/2025 08:45

Cheap wedding = love match / happy marriage

Nice wedding = materialistic / only interested in the wedding not the marriage

Cheap engagement ring = wonderful marriage

Nice ring = crap marriage, shallow, greedy wife, all for show

The black & white thinking around this comes up incredibly frequently. It's baffling how people really seem to believe these stereotypes to be true.

And people who have these cheap yet supposedly amazing weddings will claim “It’s still talked of to this day”. Yeah, by you your husband - and even he’s bored with it. No one else ever gave it a second thought.

JudgeJ · 11/04/2025 11:56

Deathofaunicorn · 11/04/2025 09:43

The dreaded 4 words... take in some ironing

'Have a spa day' is also up there with the dreaded words of help to someone having dire financial problems!

pellypelican · 11/04/2025 11:53

People working 12/14 hour days while being on mumsnet all day.
Also people who type out threads and answer lots of posters about how they haven’t had time to text their friend back.

ShruggedHugely · 11/04/2025 11:52

Dunkou · 11/04/2025 11:49

“What colour are these eyes.” The most boring of boring threads.

Oh, I don't know -- the 'Am I pregnant?' ones win for me, in terms of being both boring and completely pointless. Not to mention the follow-ups on whether the line on a pregnancy test is getting stronger or weaker. Makes me unreasonably nostalgic for the days when you noticed a missed period and a sudden aversion to fried eggs, but were only really sure when the baby started kicking.

Dunkou · 11/04/2025 11:49

“What colour are these eyes.” The most boring of boring threads.

Borrowandmiss · 11/04/2025 11:45

Brilliant, brilliant thread! Thank you, OP

moonplop · 11/04/2025 11:43

Deathofaunicorn · 11/04/2025 11:36

During the Covid pandemic, many posters knew at least 5 or 6 people who'd died despite being perfectly healthy gym goes in their 30s.

I remember a poster berating another one during covid for putting ice cream in with her "essential only" shopping basket and telling her that she had probably just killed an OAP 😆

Yazzi · 11/04/2025 11:40

When people ask for specific experiences/advice of working mums in high earning/responsibility jobs and 90% of replies are from SAHMs married to doctors

Mugcake · 11/04/2025 11:36

No one is allowed to enjoy their birthday "they're for children" You have to specifically ask your DP/DC to do something and tell them exactly what you want. Always find that weird and joyless. In real life a present/card/meal would be the minimum

Original poster
Deathofaunicorn · 11/04/2025 11:36

During the Covid pandemic, many posters knew at least 5 or 6 people who'd died despite being perfectly healthy gym goes in their 30s.

OP posts:
Original poster
Deathofaunicorn · 11/04/2025 11:33

Seen some very toxic friendship situations too.
"My friend wants me to spend 20k on her hen do and leave my baby for 6 weeks, aibu to consider not going?"

OP posts:
lilypetals · 11/04/2025 11:30

Something else I find odd is the complete inability of some people to appreciate that everyone is different and just because others dont live their lives exactly the same as them, doesnt mean they're "wrong".

How on earth can you be surrounded by thousands of varying, diverse people on the planet every single day and not get that people might choose to live their lives differently to you. It blows my mind.

Eg. all these rules about when you should take your Christmas decs down or how you should do laundry etc and if you dont do it on the exact same day as them, or exactly the same as them, you are clearly unhinged or weird or whatever.

Why this neurotic need for everyone to be exactly the same as you- wouldnt life be crushingly boring and tedious if we were all exactly the same? I think difference is interesting.