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Original poster

Things only frequently heard on Mumsnet (lighthearted)

258 replies

Deathofaunicorn · 11/04/2025 07:26

Just thinking of things people have posted that I've heard countless times!

Everyone's friends in their social circle didn't have their first baby until the age of 42/43.

Their Grandma had her last baby at the age of 48.

Night of passion with their dp within 6 seconds of meeting, they moved in that night and never left and now they're celebrating 75 years of marriage.

Grandma who smoked 200 cigarettes a day, used chip fat on their face and had beautiful, line free skin at the age of 120.

DP has a hobby which means they're out most evenings and every weekend. Has a female colleague 25 years younger who he has a mutual attraction with and they text each other all day long.

Their DD/DS is 6'7, model looks, eats 10 packs of lard a day yet doesn't gain an ounce.

Has anyone else seen things like this frequently posted?

OP posts:
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nopiesleftinthisvehicle · 07/09/2025 14:29

Everyone has a DH who has a 'hobby' - that can never be named as outing.
The OP will then go on to describe the entire life story of this bloke/siblings/background/date of marriage/number and sex of offspring etc etc... But daren't divulge the hobby. It's clearly the gym.

Biskieboo · 07/09/2025 13:55

'My husband is a good father, earns a decent wage, is generally very pleasant, is sexually attractive and pulls his weight around the house, however last night he came in ten minutes later than promised from meeting up with friends and farted in bed in his sleep'

'Leave the disgusting pig immediately!!! I couldn't live with a man like that!!! He clearly doesn't respect you and has just gaslit you into thinking he's a good man! He's financially controlling too! Nothing you've said is evidence of that but he just is!!!'

4Tornot4T · 07/09/2025 13:35

Teanbiscuits33 · 11/04/2025 08:45

Oh, and if you can’t drive you’re basically worthless on here and totally undatable!

This obsession with driving is so annoying and is so prevalent on MN. Loads of people, myself included, don't drive (medical reasons in my case) and do manage to have successful lives, go on dates and, shock, horror, even get married.

RunningJo · 07/09/2025 13:26

Anonym00se · 11/04/2025 08:28

DH makes a snippy comment during an argument. “He’s abusive. LTB” despite us having no context or knowledge of his usual behaviour. (Disclaimer: some are obviously abusive fuckwits and those bastards should be left, but this comment is given to everyone).

Every poster and their DCs are ND.

From another thread it seems that everyone is out socialising the same day they’ve given birth.

Southerners all think houses in the north cost £32.60. Everywhere north of Watford.

Women go abroad three times a year for expensive hen dos/girl’s weekends/hobbies and their DPs do similar, and still manage to afford a family holiday somewhere exotic. All while complaining how unfair it is that life is so much harder for them these days.

Parents must let adult children live at home with no contribution to food and bills until they choose to move out. They must also give them a deposit to buy a house, provide childcare and eventually a massive inheritance. Failure to meet these conditions earns you a label of ‘toxic’ and DCs will go NC.

MILs are not allowed to even glance sideways at their grandchildren for the first five years of life, while at the same time be expected to look after said child full-time while parents are working, and during the evenings/weekends when parents are socialising.

This made me laugh.. and so true 🤣

icreaminbarnsley · 07/09/2025 13:21

Thepeopleversuswork · 07/09/2025 10:14

I find this utterly bizarre and depressing.

The idea of other people being something to avoid and hide from but “my little family” is fine.

I dont really understand how people with such a loathing and fear of other people can have courted and mated for long enough to make a “little family” in the first place.

Show quote history

Oh yes, and the ones who don't allow grandparents (or anyone) to see their newborn for 2 weeks as they need time to bond "as a little family". Then a few years later they complain that their parents/ILs aren't as hands on as they'd hoped.

Hesma · 07/09/2025 10:18

@Deathofaunicorn all hobbies are “outing”

Thepeopleversuswork · 07/09/2025 10:14

Autumn38 · 11/04/2025 08:31

The social anxiety I always feel is really strange. People hating it if extra people join for coffee, the hatred of friends popping in, preferring to be home alone over all else, intense dislike of holidays with other people, always only having Christmas with immediate family…. Then threads full of people agreeing. Where are these people in real life?! (Probably at home to be fair 😂)

I find this utterly bizarre and depressing.

The idea of other people being something to avoid and hide from but “my little family” is fine.

I dont really understand how people with such a loathing and fear of other people can have courted and mated for long enough to make a “little family” in the first place.

JasperTheDoll · 07/09/2025 10:04

Motherofacertainage · 07/09/2025 08:50

Being advised to LTB over fairly routine relationship issues. Or privileged posters advising LTB whilst not fully appreciating the complexities of doing so. Oh and high handed use of “I’d be….”

Edited

Mumsnet hates men though. I'm shocked at how many of the posters on here actually became mums in the first place considering the sheer hatred they have for any one with a penis.

Motherofacertainage · 07/09/2025 08:50

Being advised to LTB over fairly routine relationship issues. Or privileged posters advising LTB whilst not fully appreciating the complexities of doing so. Oh and high handed use of “I’d be….”

Someonelookedatmypostinghistorysoichanged · 07/09/2025 08:40

GreyCarpet · 11/04/2025 07:55

I'm more surprised that, with a population of nearly 70 million people, some people really can't imagine that they way they live their life isn't the way everyone else lives their's.

I'm an 'only on MN' person because I don't answer the door if I'm not expecting a visitor or answer a call from an unknown number.

But you wouldn't know that if you knew because I generally don't tell people.

My grandma had her only child at 44 in 1950.

But why would anyone know that?

I don't stuff myself over Christmas and am craving salad by Boxing Day having only eaten 'Christmas food' from Christmas Eve.

I don’t have a snack cupboard, I don't like chocolate and I don't eat huge amounts of food. And no, I'm not 'tempted' by cake if I go out for a coffee. I don't even consider it.

I've been nc with my mother for 13 years due to abuse.

In reality, I do know other people who are NC with family, don't answer the door, don't eat stupid amounts of food and had children in their 40s in real life. As well as the opposite.

Some of these things are 'only on MN' because they're things people tend not to share in real life.

Ohh

Katemax82 · 07/09/2025 08:35

Deathofaunicorn · 11/04/2025 07:30

Agree! Forgot about the magical chicken which can feed a family of 8 for a week.

In reality I get 2 days of sandwiches/wraps for 2 of my kids from a chicken

icreaminbarnsley · 07/09/2025 08:11

Social housing estates in MN land are wholly comprised of doctors, judges, teachers, university staff and the neighbouring very expensive estate is rife with antisocial behaviour, drugs, prostitution.

NotSmallButFunSize · 06/09/2025 13:34

GripGetter · 11/04/2025 08:19

"We live rurally"

Oh God literally everyone lives rurally - must be pretty busy in those parts actually with all these MNs there.

And despite this, they always earn 6 figures - how can you earn this kind of money whilst living nowhere near a major town or city where this kind of job surely exists?

Rewis · 12/04/2025 23:30

Step parenting. I feel like blended families of MN are totally different from the ones I know IRL. It just feels so foreign to read any step whatever threads.

Anyone 25+ going to a bar/club is pathetic. An adult getting drunk is raging alcoholic. Partner overdoing it means that you have to have a revenge and make their next day absolutely miserable. Also they have to promise never to drink again.

HellDorado · 12/04/2025 21:14

Peony1897 · 12/04/2025 20:55

God yes! ‘Don’t advise her to terminate; she might hate you later’

Errr won’t she hate you for utterly failing the ONE time advice is desperately needed and let her piss her life up the wall for the sake of saying ‘well I didn’t want to interfere darling’??

Show quote history

I once had someone berating me on here for not “respecting bodily autonomy” because I said I’d be very actively pushing my 14 year-old daughter towards an abortion in these circumstances.

Peony1897 · 12/04/2025 20:55

TeaAndStrumpets · 12/04/2025 08:44

14 year old daughter has been having sex with her boyfriend, a little older. Hardly anyone advises the Mum to read the riot act and ban the boyfriend from the premises. Hardly anyone mentions the age of consent. Loads of posters tell the Mum that it is just normal teen behaviour and she should accept it and have a serious chat about contraception.

If a young teenager gets pregnant then we get tales from MNetters who had a baby at 15 or 16 and went on to be highly paid professionals. Assume they had to "work and slog their guts out"

Edited
Show quote history

God yes! ‘Don’t advise her to terminate; she might hate you later’

Errr won’t she hate you for utterly failing the ONE time advice is desperately needed and let her piss her life up the wall for the sake of saying ‘well I didn’t want to interfere darling’??

Peony1897 · 12/04/2025 20:52

Rewis · 12/04/2025 12:14

I find it weird how in MN everyone seems to be rich and poor at the same time. On the one hand everyone makes 6 figures but when someone posts to the travel section about having a budget of £15k and asking something, they told to read the room.

In the same way everyone is working class yet lives in a detached house in Oxford.

WigglywagglyWanda · 12/04/2025 19:56

Taking food from the all inclusive breakfast to eat later.

One lady spoke about making up full picnics for her whole family, others were purple with rage at the thought of taking an apple.

Sadly the reason I'm size DTUI and not teeny tiny is my consumption of said fat bastard breakfast at 9am which sees me right through the day.

FKAT · 12/04/2025 19:38

Spending more than £15 on anything from a wedding to Christmas presents for all your family is over the top.

Yeh, there's a poor woman on the MIL funeral thread being ripped apart for spending £100 on Easter presents for her 4 kids. £25 a head for a celebration gift is beyond the pale apparently. They should get a bible story and one mini-egg to share.

WigglywagglyWanda · 12/04/2025 19:35

Long discussions from posters about 'their inheritance' and debate about various step siblings and whether they should get anything.

Parents meanwhile are early sixties and hopefully should spend it cruising, and carousing and leave the selfish little shits fuck all.

Original poster
Deathofaunicorn · 12/04/2025 19:20

If you dare to even put a brush through your hair you're obsessed with your appearance and ageing, you will never age gracefully and you need to realise that x person passed away aged 30 therefore appearance and ageing are forevermore totally irrelevant, and you are completely shallow and vacuous to care at all about your looks.

OP posts:
Original poster
Deathofaunicorn · 12/04/2025 19:18

Teens at 18 must either be immediately chucked out onto the streets without a single penny or a further shred of acknowledgment ever again, or are fully funded in every aspect of their life until around the age of 60, or you've failed as a parent

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WigglywagglyWanda · 12/04/2025 18:25

Whether one should wash a chicken

There was a long thread a while ago with folk ripping lumps out of each other about washing chickens

If someone likes a glass of wine of an evening they are a raging alco.

If someone's husband does anything slightly out of the ordinary they ate having an affair and you should leave the fucker.

If someone asks about a good face cream the posters who berate them and call them vain....on the Style and Beauty section

WLINewbie · 12/04/2025 18:14

Deathofaunicorn · 12/04/2025 18:10

Women aged over 35 facing any sort of problem whatsoever:

"Could it be peri?"

Or early onset dementia

Original poster
Deathofaunicorn · 12/04/2025 18:10

Women aged over 35 facing any sort of problem whatsoever:

"Could it be peri?"

OP posts: