How would moving in with a non beef eater work for you?

Is this serious? I’m vegetarian and my husband isn’t and this has never been the slightest issue. That must be pretty common?!

This is how it would go in my house but if I really liked him, I'd get over myself

m.youtube.com/watch?v=kK1YpYr5fn0&pp=ygUZYWlyIGFmcmlrYWFucyBiZWVmIG9yIGNvdw%3D%3D

Why do you feel obliged?

In our home we each don't eat some things. We are rather lazy cooks, so we prefer to cook meals both of us can eat.
We often pick the things the other one wouldn't eat when eating out, cook them when the other one is away, or cook in a separable way.

You absolutely can have a steak when eating out. I wouldn't hesitate about bringing cold ready to eat meat to home either.
Cooking can be discussed, mostly timing/utensils, not necessarily whether.

I would see bigger issue about potential future kids - I don't think his request is reasonable. Maybe a compromise could be that the children wouldn't eat beef with him at home, like a family meal, but would be free to do it when just with you and outside home?
If he doesn't agree, it would be time to discuss his beliefs and it's potential influence to you and your potential family in more details, because it is improbable that the beef would be the only problem.

Agree with others that you're unnecessarily making a big deal of this.

Do you feel like he's judging you for eating beef? Is that where this issue comes from?

Lots of Sikhs are vegetarian, so at least you are spared that!

It's not hypocritical in the least for him to feed his parents dogs bones. Dogs are carnivorous and need meat.

YABVU

He isn’t making you feel bad. You are choosing to feel bad.

You’re making a lot of ridiculous excuses to find fault in him not eating beef.

If it’s such a deal breaker for you, don’t move in with him and let him find someone who isn’t so bothered by this.

Not eating beef is not the end of the world and extremely weird hill to die on when he isn’t stopping you from eating it and says he doesn’t mind you eating it.

No I just find it odd that he will literally go out of his way to get bone marrow for his family dogs (and so do his parents). Yet, he refuses to eat it himself.

I find it odd that you find this odd. Do you not buy things for people or pets, you wouldn’t buy and/or use yourself?

i know lots of vegetarians who still feed their pet cats and dogs meat, doesn’t seem at all strange to me.

If you’re going to move in together, you need to learn to be respectful of each other’s choices. ie he needs to respect that you’ll have beef in the house as much as you respect he doesn’t want to eat it.

can you keep it in the fridge? Yes. It’s your fridge as much as his.

its making you feel like a bad person? That’s a you issue.

lots of Sikhs eat all meats, his choice is not to eat beef but it doesn’t mean he’s saying you can’t.

as for not wanting your future kids to eat beef, I wouldn’t agree to that right now. You have no idea what you’ll want when kids arrive.

How often are you eating beef that this is a major sacrifice? Non of your posts say that he says you can’t eat it in the house? You’re the one choosing not to have it at restaurants too when he says he doesn’t mind. I think you’re making a bigger deal out of it than you need to and for some reason trying to reason him into eating beef?

I think your bigger issues are what’s your future, are you going to accept his religion and culture, even the less convenient parts. are you going to convert, are there other parts of his religion that are going to impact you or your lack of religion(or alternative religion?) that will impact him. He doesn’t want kids eating beef, well how will you stop them if you are? And does that mean he wants them to follow his religion, that you don’t follow, how will you encourage that. I think if this is already such a big problem for you, then you’re going to get stuck on the real issues.

I'm vegetarian. I gave my cat cat food with meat in it, cooked chicken for her and bought fish,

Well although I do really like the costume it wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me. Perhaps he could dress up as something else?

I think it would be considerate not to keep beef in the fridge at home, or cook it at home.

I lived in a student houseshare that was mostly vegetarians - I wasn't - but they were my friends so I was happy just to eat meat when I was out, or getting a take-away. I understood why they didn't want to smell meat cooking or see meat in their fridge.

You don't sound as understanding of your boyfriend. It doesn't matter if other family members eat beef, he doesn't want to. If he wants to give up on red meat, but has a bacon butty, it's shouldn't be a 'gotcha' moment for you.

You don't sound supportive of him, you seem to want to prove that his dietary preferences are wrong.

I think you are being a bit daft
he’s not bothered so why are you making an issue of it when you don’t need to ?

It sounds like you resent his not eating beef. He's not trying to restrict your diet and I think you're being unreasonable about his dietary choices.

What’s the big deal?! He’s fine with you eating beef, so why is this a problem?

Lots of people (everyone) have inconsistencies in their behaviour. That's normal. So he buys dog treats but doesn't eat beef, so what?

Personally I don't see it as a big issue and tbh a lot less disruptive and less hassle than dating someone with a nut allergy or lactose intolerant or gluten intolerant etc etc.

What if he simply didn’t like it?

He’s not telling you what to do. He’s told you that he doesn’t mind you eating it. You are the one that is making it difficult!

I’m a life long vegetarian. DH is not. Not a problem!

I'm vegan and my DH is pescetarian. He has fish in the fridge. Whilst I wish he'd go vegan, he isn't, and it is his fridge as much as it is mine. He knows that I will only ever cook vegan meals and so he cooks his own fish when he wants it and that is usually when I'm at work.

What you need to do is have a chat with him and tell him how you feel. It doesn't appear from your comments that he would be fervently against you storing beef in a shared fridge.

I think your being unreasonable and disregarding his feelings/culture. If this was a reverse we would all be saying you are a huge red flag

I would be OK with no beef, or were it with someone who doesn't eat it, no pork. I would not be happy to eat no meat at all though.

My partner kept chickens as pets, and now won’t eat them.
We survive. It’s not that big a deal.

I don't think you're cut out for being in a cross cultural relationship tbh.

If you're so annoyed by this, I don't think you stand a chance tbh.

You sound really irritated about what meat he eats or doesn't. Doesn't bode well for moving in together.

I'm a vegetarian and my husband is a meat eater. It's never caused any friction or issue at all in the 20 years we've lived together.

You need to have a conversation with him before you move in together. He doesn't eat beef, you do so he should be fine with it being in the fridge.

Have to say I'm not comfortable with him deciding about future children, up to what age exactly? Children have a mind of their own and it isn't for him to enforce his beliefs on them.

It wouldn’t make any difference to me at all. In fact it doesn’t. DP doesn’t eat beef or lamb. We east chicken, turkey and pork. On the extremely rare occasions I fancy beef I order it in a restaurant. I incredibly occasionally, such as once or twice a year make a steak or beef stir fry at home. He doesn’t eat it but if he objected it literally wouldn’t make the blindest bit of difference to me. We use turkey / pork mince for spag Bol/ chilli / shepherds pie etc