To NOT feel guilty that my kids are in childcare?

Widespread nursery use only came about when the majority of women started working outside the home, so really only in the later half of the 20th century. It has been steadily increasing over the last decades, especially as families move away from grandparents and other traditional caregivers.

Also over the past few decades, rates of mental health difficulties have increased.

Now, I am definitely not saying that nursery is the sole of even main cause of various mental health difficulties. It might be one of many contributing factors, however.

There are studies (which I linked to) that have found a link between early nursery care and ADHD, for example. And many studies that show an impact on stress levels, which could well have long-term impacts on anxiety etc.

Widespread nursery use only came about when the majority of women started working outside the home, so really only in the later half of the 20th century. It has been steadily increasing over the last decades, especially as families move away from grandparents and other traditional caregivers.

Also over the past few decades, rates of mental health difficulties have increased.

Now, I am definitely not saying that nursery is the sole of even main cause of various mental health difficulties. It might be one of many contributing factors, however.

There are studies (which I linked to) that have found a link between early nursery care and ADHD, for example. And many studies that show an impact on stress levels, which could well have long-term impacts on anxiety etc.

Yep, society is far from perfect. It would be great if it became the norm for dads to stay home to look after their children.

They have managed to move quite far in that direction in the Nordic countries. One way they did that was by extending paid parental leave and giving a set number of months to just the dad, a set number to the mum, the rest shared as the couple see fit.

They also, yes, increased funding for childcare but, crucially, encourage parents to wait until their children are a bit older (so at least over 1 year) before sending them to nursery full-time.

That's the only thing I would change currently. I'd give men their own parental leave and it would be more than the pathetic 2 weeks they currently get.

But a ''freer choice'' (which would be based on sexist societal norms, so hardly truly a free choice unless we change society first) would likely end up with more childcare places such as nurseries and childminders closing down, not to mention the expectation of staying at home because the government is giving mothers that option.

How wouldn't that reduce women's choices?

Not so good for all the taxpayers without kids though lol.

I know in the 80s there were council run day nurseries that were reasonably priced. Shame they got rid of them. Even the private ones were cheaper before the government started subsidizing. I remember I could afford to pay DD1 nursery fees and my rent / bills on a single income. This is before govt " free hours " and tax credits

@TheKeatingFivethe vast majority of people I know who’ve had babies in recent years have taken 12 months of leave. Sadly, I can count on the fingers of one hand the number who’ve transferred some of that leave to the father.

@TheKeatingFivethe vast majority of people I know who’ve had babies in recent years have taken 12 months of leave. Sadly, I can count on the fingers of one hand the number who’ve transferred some of that leave to the father.

Well yes, you're going to need that.

Fair enough, another thing on my wish-list is much more equitable division of childcare between both parents. But yeah, that's a stretch. Not impossible, though - other countries have managed, why can't we?

Also, many people here arguing in favour of nursery are saying that every family should make their own decisions. I agree, just that those decisions would be different if freed from some of the financial constraints currently put on parents.

Should we be basing policy decisions regarding children's wellbeing on if nursery owners will lose money or if there will be fewer taxes? Or should we be empowering families to make what they consider the best choice for their children.

Your argument against giving parents a freer choice is that women would choose to stay at home longer, leading to more discrimination in the workplace. But then you're basically saying it's better to reduce women's choices and force them back into the workplace.

And much higher taxes in the case of Scandinavia.

I’ll rephrase that then. Most parents. Not all, as we all know. Some parents have child after child and do not raise them well, sadly.

But also longer paid parental leave. 18 months in Sweden.

Fair enough, another thing on my wish-list is much more equitable division of childcare between both parents. But yeah, that's a stretch. Not impossible, though - other countries have managed, why can't we?

The countries that are much more equitable tend to have highly subsidised nursery provision however.

But actually @gattocattivo there's one point where I completely agree with you. Earlier you wrote "parents know their own children and their own context best. Why not trust them to raise their children in a way which might not exactly match someone else’s?"

Currently, the government stops paid parental leave earlier than many other European countries and is spending a lot of money (but still less than is necessary) directly subsidising nursery.

What I would be in favour of is for the government to stop directly funding nurseries and instead to make direct payments to parents irrespective of if they are using nursery or not.

That way, parents could use the extra cash to either help them stay at home with their children or to pay for nursery. They would be the ones to choose.

I think many parents would decide to reduce nursery hours in that context, which would reduce demand and make nursery a bit cheaper. Win-win for everyone.

Also, I would never support the govt making direct payments to parents to be at home. So many pitfalls. Not all parents are caring, or nurture their children in positive ways. Being a parent is pretty much unregulated: other than seriously neglecting or abusing your children, you’re free to look after them pretty much how you want, whether that being a brilliant parent, reading to them, playing with them, feeding them nutritious meals or sticking them in front of a screen with a bag of crisps.

Fair enough, another thing on my wish-list is much more equitable division of childcare between both parents. But yeah, that's a stretch. Not impossible, though - other countries have managed, why can't we?

The countries that are much more equitable tend to have highly subsidised nursery provision however.

But that’s your personal opinion @Itssofunnythat paid parental leave is too short. Many of us feel it’s actually pretty good and well balanced taking into account not just parents, but people who don’t have children and - very importantly - employers. Suppose parents were suddenly paid for 2 years or 3 years to be at home. Suddenly you get someone starting a job, taking 2 years out for a child, popping back to work for a few months, then taking another 2 years off…. Employer can’t appoint someone to the post permanently in the meantime - that limits the pool of applicants. And how many people want their children to have a teacher who’s only their intermittently, taking back to back mat leave of several years? Being taught by stand-ins in the meantime. Or who wants their child receiving medical care from a constantly revolving door of specialists because they’re off for several years?

The govt has a responsibility to consider all sides, not just parents who want to stay at home for 18 months, or 2 years, or 3 years….